|Beauty Behind the Madness Z.M.|

~once in a lifetime you were mine~

his voice. i don't believe anyone will understand just how much i love his voice. his goddamned voice is enough to make me lightheaded. just one word and im wrapped around his fingers. his voice makes my heart thump faster, the blood rushes through my veins and he makes me feel so fucking..undead. he makes me feel. his voice... it's to meticulous and lovely and beautiful. he is beautiful.

i long for his voice. i yearn to hear it everyday but it has been months and he hasn't even opened his eyes yet. his eyes. that's another thing that makes him so ethereal.

the way they study you and make you feel like the only girl in the world. they kind of smile, in a way. the light captured in his eyes and the joy engulfing them are just lovely. he is lovely.

i regret not taking any pictures. lately i've been living off of just memories. i can't see him nor can he see me. it's prohibited.

i have a court hearing on november 28th. i don't look forward to it. my parents hired the best lawyers and are, basically, just going to vent about zayn and how he 'ruined' me in hopes to free me.

completely, wholly, and honestly, id rather stay here for three years-no fuck that. id rather stay here for eternity if it means zayn will be happy and free. sacrifice. that is love.

"nina."

"leave me alone." i groan loudly and jokingly. my body contradicts the previous statement when i hug him closer to me. i wore his t-shirt which was short and made me feel exposed. with eyes closed, i hugged him as if the world depended on it. as if this were the last time we'd see eachother.

his touch made shivers run down my spine and goosebumps invade my skin. he made me dizzy as his hands travelled to my thighs, holding me closer to him. my head rested on his chest, eyes now open. slowly, i inhaled and exhaled his scent. he smelled like..home. i don't know how but he did. he made me feel like home.

"i love you." i said riskily. it had been eight months but so much has happened and i could honestly say i loved him. my heart beat accelerated nervously. i was nervous.

"i love you too, nins.."