|Beauty Behind the Madness Z.M.|

~ ridiculously wonderful~

im not even writing dear diary anymore. it's a pointless and stupid salutation.

i stayed at his house in arizona. it was far,far away where no one could find me nor did anyone know me. occasionally, he went away. back home to new york. every two months-for a week. it was horrid-staying in that big house alone.

i could have left if i wanted to. i could have made friends but i didn't want to. i liked our little arrangement. just zayn and i.

"you're ridiculous." he laughs, his voice thick with sarcasm. he had just finished listening to my conspiracy theories.

"think about it! she could not have looked that good while pregnant!" i retorted, eyes wide. he just laughed which eventually made me laugh. i smile, leaning into his shoulder softly.

"where do you come up with this stuff?"

"up here." i said jokingly, poking my head with my index finger twice.

"up here needs to go back to school." he said, tapping my head softly.

"shut up, you love my theories."

"sureeeee..."

"you do. and you know what else you love?"

"not you."

"fine..i was going to make you food but.." i stand up, walking away from him with a smile-which he couldn't see-on my face.

"no..i didn't mean it." he pouts, wrapping two tattooed arms around my waist, pulling me back down so i sat on his lap.

i press my lips to his softly. my hands fly to his hair and i softly tug at it, letting his hand roam my body as i practically straddled him. i hear him groan and the bulge in his pants grow increasingly. i , after a few minutes, abruptly stop. "fucking tease," he mutters under his breath.

"so you do love me?" i ask, stressing the word do.

"eh..not really. im just really hungry-" he teases, making me scoff.

"i fake died for you!" i tease overdramatically, manicured hand over my heart.

"you didn't let me finish..i don't love you. im in love with you."