Diary of a Cynic

mys·ter·y /ˈmist(ə)rē/

I really don't know anything about marriage. I have been in a relationship for the past 7 years now and it's going alright. Of course there are ups and downs but we managed our differences through the years. 7 years is quite a long time. I think I really knew my partner every corner of his body, every dimple, every mole. 

But marriage is something we are still working on. I know the old people used to tell us, "You'll never know your partner if you lived together under the same roof." 

I guess I'll cross the bridge when I get there. 

I think the key to a long lasting relationship is being transparent with one another. I really mean being honest about your mistakes, doubts, feelings and your point of views in life. In that way, you could fully trust one another when you're not together. The doubt slowly drifts away.

But on the opposing side, my old professor back in high school once told us to keep a mystery in a relationship. Don't completely show yourself. Don't open yourself up to your partner, keep the mystery going. Keep your partner asking what else? Is there more?

And I completely and absolutely don't recommend that, because that mystery will become misery. 

Well she was about to get married, she told us, to her boyfriend who was in their province and never they had shared a bed together, which makes the wedding more exciting, and she thinks that she is qualified to give out hand me down advice to us 15 year old's back then.  

My professor, after how many years, we've met in a bus ride on my home. I was already working and she is still teaching. We were sitting side by side on the bus, and I was surprised she recognized me. I greeted her a "hello" and a "how are you", and right then I knew she wasn't fine.

She told me that she transferred schools because there was mutiny going on in our old school. I pretended that I didn't know that and went along. She told me that she's working on her masters degree so she could teach in college. I pretended to be interested. She asked me where I am headed and I told her "I am meeting up with my partner in a mall", and she abruptly asked me if I was married and I said "no" because I am only  22 years old, and then she told me not to rush things just have fun, do all the things you want before you get married, blah blah blah... And then I asked her about her husband, and got all pink and sad and told me the wedding got cancelled. I did not pretended to be shocked because I was. But at the back of my mind, I knew it. She told me that their differences got in the way. She loved him dearly, but when it was time to let go, she let herself go actually. She quit her job, stayed vacationing for the past year and then developed her love handles and the flab on her stomach. She told me how she blamed herself, and almost thought of killing herself. She just let herself go so much. The money she was saving for her wedding dress were converted to food. She found comfort in food and that it turned into fats. And she hated herself even more when she's looking at the mirror, and then she ate more, and then hating herself again, then ate again. Repeat. She told me she was miserable. So then she told me not to rush things with my partner. Get to know him better. When he broke up with her, she told me it's like she's looking at a stranger. It's like she never saw that side of him. And then she realized that after how many years that she didn't know him at all. 

Mystery.