Diary of a Cynic

sub·mis·sive /səbˈmisiv/

I had a client once, for a wedding and they were the perfect couple. Scratch that; they were the ideal couple, because they were nowhere near perfect.

The both of them were about to get married and of course as the chosen counsel, I would like to get to know them better for the wedding. It was fine at first. They told me they were best friends. They knew one another since grade school and they saw each other with different love affairs until the both of them decided to be exclusive. It's this part where the couple feels like they are celebrities interviewing about their personal life. And I am secretly taking pleasure of the terrible revelations I made ahead. But not to take anything personal, I am just the counsel for the wedding and I am making sure that this lovely young couple know what they are getting into. I assure you that they got married. Barely got married.

The soon-to-be-husband is a failed engineer. But he works at a conglomerate. He's active, takes pleasure in earning money to make a living out of hell. He doesn't like anything in the television, and his point of view in life is to be rich enough to afford his own insurance company.

The soon-to-be-wife is a dreamer. She loves painting and afternoon TV series. She works as a librarian in a distant school in the north. She loves her job aside from the fact that her soon-to-be-husband hates it, because of the salary. 

Now you can see the different personalities these two will have to work out. And like I told you, they barely got married.

I asked them, "What do you like about each other?"

There was a 15 second awkward pause, and their hands that were both clasped together slowly fell on their laps. 

The soon-to-be-husband looked lost in translation. His balding hair started raggedly showing, and his buckled teeth started biting his lower lip.

The soon-to-be-wife's mouth hangs open, her two front teeth are obviously fake, because they were whiter than the others, and it irritates me that she told me that they were not dentures.

I fucking hate dishonest people. And that's why I love toying with their emotions.

From my assessment as a psychologist, I could see that the couple in front of me barely knew each other. Although they said they were best friends. I doubt that. 

The soon-to-be-husband is  materialistic and a misogynist. He breathes in money. All he can think about is money. He grew up not knowing what money is, until he came by and felt the luxury of it, he never wanted to go back being poor. Maybe he saw it from his parents who barely got education, and said to himself he doesn't want to end up like them. He wanted to make more and more for security. But deep inside, he seeks revenge out of those who belittled him when they had nothing. The status quo, disguised as financial security.

The soon-to-be-wife is passive-submissive. She submits to him more than it should. Maybe the pressure of being the ideal couple made her the way she is, or the pressure that other people placed on her for being the stereotyped best friends becomes husband and wife. All the other fake and bullshit the world has to offer, and clearly right now I could see that she will be chained up, like the other wives in the world, has nothing but the entire house for themselves to clean, serve their master, their husbands, bear their child, and then get fat, lowered self-esteem, envying the young hotties outside with their boyfriends so young, thinking they should have exercised more, get drunk in the evenings thinking their husband is cheating on them, making phone calls to other wives, telling how they want to leave but can't because of the mortgage and their child. 

All the sad life these wives have to tell over and over again. The miserable life of a wife tied up, submissive to their husbands. And these husbands have nothing but the pleasure of being served. 

Just like that, I psycho-analyzed their marriage. 

But I am right, and always have been.

The question I asked about them, left drifting in the air. It left them to figure out for themselves, given 2 weeks before the wedding. I know that question will haunt them in their sleep, thinking if they made the right decision to get married, if they themselves knew they didn't know each other that well. Best friends. Is a bullshit thing to say without any comfort of farting in front of him, or yelling at him, taunting him, saying bad things, cursing at him. Nope. There were still secrets the soon-to-be-wife hides from him, because he has anger management issues. 

Oh, that's a shocker. The more I get the revelation about this marriage, I could see their future. I secretly enjoyed the torture, but then again, I am helping them.

They got married. And that's just the start.

The wife,  and I became friends after they got married. She started coming by my office all year round crying, moping around, yelling her anger, and then crying again. It was sad that I was her only friend, and I am her psychiatrist. 

She told me the first months were like dating a guy you barely knew. Since both of them were virgins, they didn't know what to do. I hid my laughter under my prescription. And then it started. At first they placed contraceptives because they are not yet ready, and so on and on. And just the thought that she was really nervous because she really didn't know what to do with her husband's dick. And then it went on and on and on, and she didn't bleed.

Oh shocker.

And her husband got suspicious of her and that started another paragraph of her sad marriage.

This is the part where I don't get it. People used to tell me that I don't understand marriage because I'm not married. What's the difference of it if you're in a relationship? It's just that the expenses are with the both of you, and the responsibilities are with the both of you, and you live under the same roof. 

What I don't get is this ideal couple, the conservative society has placed in our minds. Both of them must not lay in bed before marriage. Both them must be pure. Both of them must undergo the family planning seminar.

Both of them must be of the same religion.

It's like a fixed marriage. You must marry your own kind.

Fascist. Racist. 

If this is the standard of love, then we can't really be free to express ourselves to the person we love. There will always be lies beneath lies. We are not free.

And love is suppose to be free.