Diary of a Cynic

judg·men·tal /jəjˈmen(t)l/

Hello, it's me again; writing this sick whatever you may call it. I'm not tired of telling these series of events in our lives once again, until we may embrace the fact that they're actual people in our lives that we have to deal with, to get on and move on in life.

I talked to him once again, my ignorant 28-year old workmate. He's married and since then he was rarely happy. I'm so sick of this conversation, I'd gulped down a couple of "I don't give a shit about you life," quotes, but I'm a nice workmate, so I pretended to listen. I know, it's not nice of me. We all do that sometimes, I'm just not afraid to admit it. 

So here we are again. He had a fight with his wife, pressuring him to quit work and start focusing on business, because there's more money there. I get it. Money is equivalent to happiness for her. But not for him.

"I mean, this is my job!" he sobs. "This what pays for everything!"

Did you tell this to your wife? Am I the vent machine here?

I rolled my eyes behind him, and then turned to him with a comforting face saying, "Yeah, I know what you mean." And then I pat him on his shoulders. 

He sighs with relief and says, "Good, that's good. You know when you get older I think you'l understand the way things with marriage."

This is comical nonsense. I am an adult, and he's just 28. Age is just a number, and maturity is not based on how old you are. It's based on how you grow up in experience. And I'm nice enough not to say it to him but, I've had more experience that you'll ever have in your married life you douche bag. 

But I'm just saying. I hate people who judge me because I'm just 23 years old. I'm younger than them, and automatically they're thinking that they should lecture me about life. I don't usually open myself up to people because I know they'll judge what I'll tell them about myself, or I expect the shock in their faces when they realize that I've been through so much. I guess they'll need to know soon enough so they could stop treating me like I'm the kid here.

So we go back to the roots of this judgmental character, meaning me. 

I admit, I judge people silently in my mind. Some judge them loudly as so others can hear it. And when I see people behaving like than,I judge them even more so. I regret opening to them, and that regret turns to hate. 

I hated people for judging loudly than themselves. 

"You know, I think it's her thing to be bossy, knowing her, you know." She said. 

I mean, what the actual fuck? Keep it to yourself maybe. I just lost all respect in you. If you want to judge people so loudly, just say it to the person you're judging. That's all you're going to get from me.

Sometimes I wonder what is the actual meaning of adults. Sometimes adults don't fit to be called adults. More fitting enough to call them idiots. And if you're offended by this, I'm just again saying that it's only opinion you're reading. Not yours, and not anyone else's. 

Again, maturity it not based on how old you are.