Blurry's the one I'm not

i'm sorry

it was their day off. atleast for Tyler. Josh had to find a music shop and get some stuff fixed. He really didn't want to do it, he was lazy, but mostly he wanted to stay in the bus because Tyler was still dealing with his problems.
"hey, Ty? listen, i gotta go to a store, i'm sorry. i'll be back as fast as i can, okay? it will be like 2 hours, maybe 3. i will come back as fast as i can" Josh calmly, sincerely said to Tyler who was curled up in blankets, laying on the couch.
"okay, i'll be fine.." he lied. he can't be fine when there's a psychopath in his mind, talking about all the hate he feels towards Tyler, towards his music, thoughts, towards Josh.
Josh huggs Tyler, grabs his wallet and phone and runs out, quietly shutting the door.

Tyler is alone again. "Alone. like always. they always leave you. how pathetic. you're so sure that they can save you? they don't care, Tyler. they do not care about you. no one does. no one would even blink if they found you dead. unlike them, i will never leave, haha, i will be your company. you won't be alone if you accept your fate. death. "  words, sentences from Blurryface filling Tyler's head. he's curled up in blankets, gripping them, looking out the window and hoping Josh will come back soon.
                                       ~~~
Tyler checked his phone. half an hour has passed and the voices had only grew stronger. the pale boy got up and went to their "kitchen" and drank a glass of water. he feels empty, out of strenght.  throat still sore from the show and his screaming last night. Josh woke him up and said that he looked paralyzed and was screaming. Tyler didn't remember it and others from the crew didn't seem to hear it. weird. but Tyler isn't surprised anymore. this happened when he was a child too, Blurry used to scare him, hit him, kill and destroy everything he loved. then Tyler's mom was waking him up with tears in her eyes. even doctors couldn't help bet then eventually, one day, Blurry was gone. but Tyler knew he would come back, inner demons never die.
                                     ~~~
Tyler was just pacing around the bus aimlessly. walking seemed to help to get away from thoughts for a moment, but Blurry still got in his head. "why are you trying to run away? you know you can't. look at your wrists, that's what happens when you're useless, even your skin with those fading marks on it knows it. why did you stop cutting? think you found someone who will distract you? oh, you're wrong, Tyler. i'm stronger than them".
Tyler isn't trying to be strong anymore, he's sitting on the floor, his back to a wall, legs to his chest, quietly rocking himself and praying for Josh to move faster. Josh. Josh.
Tyler quickly grabs his phone and texts Josh.
to: Jishwa :)
josh. i need you. please.

he hit send and waited. nothing. nothing happened and Tyler felt like he was going insane. Josh still must be in that shop and busy. He won't be able to answer his texts.

Tyler couldn't believe what he was doing. he was in the bathroom. in front of a mirror, he looked at his pale face, sighed and collapsed on the floor. boy's back was pushed to a wall and he was sitting in front of a white cabinet under the sink. with shaking fingers he opened the cabinet's door. Tyler's eyes locked on a small box in a corner of a shelf. in that box was a razor Tyler used to cut months ago. he promised Josh he wouldn't do it again, but Blurryface was too strong. Tyler took his phone once again - no texts from Josh still.
to: Jishwa :)
i'm so sorry.

and he pushed the blade in his skin, opening some old cuts. he hissed at the pain but it felt.. better. he felt like it was working. like he would feel less. but that's exactly what Blurry wanted. he wanted for him to die.
"look at you. miserable. always running from your problems like this. i'm not complaining though. it's a beautiful sight" he was looking at Tyler with his red eyes, grinning.
Blood and tears were dripping on the cold floor. Tyler's hand was shaking, still cutting deep in his wrists. "he's right. i'm fucking useless" he says under his breath.
his vision is starting to fade, blood is everywhere, Tyler can barely feel his muscles. it stings, but he feels like it's the right thing to do. the blade slips from Tyler's hand in to a puddle of blood and he passed out on the floor.

5 new messages.

from: Jishwa :)
huh? why? about what?

from: Jishwa :)
ty? is everything ok?

from: Jishwa :)
i'll be here in 10 mins. whats wrong?

from: Jishwa :)
tyler, answer me please

from: Jishwa :)
fuck i'm running as fast as i can, hang in there
                                      ~~~
"Tyler..?" Josh ran in the bus, heavily breathing, looking around. the blankets where Tyler was curled up were on the floor, his phone in the narrow hallway. next to a red puddle.
"no.. no. no. no. please, no, Tyler, don't do this to me" there were tears in Josh's eyes as he approached Tyler, lying on the ground in a puddle of his own blood. he held Tyler close to him, taking care of his cuts. he had done it before, when Tyler had breakdowns.
"you came.." Tyler whispered slowly regaining consciousness.
"Tyler! you're alive, thank God" Josh held his best friend close, barely holding back the tears of happiness.
"i'm sorry.. he.. he told me bad things.. i was scared.. i couldn't take it anymore.." tears were streaming down Tyler's cheeks, his wrists still slightly stinning from what he did an hour ago. They were sitting there for a while, Josh comforting Tyler, making him feel safe. and he actually did. Tyler felt safe in Josh's hands. it felt like no one could hurt him, even Blurry.
and there he was. Tyler cought a glimpse of Blurryface over Josh's shoulder.
"how dare he ruin my plans?! i will end both of you, no matter what it costs. you won't be happy. you can't be!" Blurry growled in anger. Tyler was surprised to see him that angry. his eyes were full with fire and hatred, Blurry looked like a vicious demon he was.
"shh, it's okay Ty. come on, let's go to the couch, i'll clean this up later" Josh said in his sincere, calm voice when he heard Tyler gasp and breath heavily.

"Josh?"
"yeah?"
"please don't let him hurt me."
"i promise, Ty. i promise. "

// tbh no idea what is this or where it's going lol. anyhow, thanks for readin' and carry on xx //