Fly // 5sos au

02

Hey Luke, remember that time when we first meet?

...

To say I was petrified was an understatement. I was shaking uncontrollably; I despised it. Shaking, biting nails, on the verge of tears,are  the signs of an anxiety attacks-which I had often. But they show weakness, lesson 31. I kept telling myself, he’s not your mother. Calm the fuck down. But I couldn’t, all the lies my mother told me about him kept my mantra at bay, he doesn’t want you. He’ll teach you worse lessons than I ever did. Foolish, naive, little girl, who would want you? An ugly piece of shit. Her ‘lessons’ still clear in my mind; on my back.

Not only was it my first plane ride, but it was my first time in another country. It didn’t bother me that I was alone, because thats what I was used too.

I sat alone at the baggage claim, biting my nails to the nub. I had to start nibbling at the skin around my thumb because there was no more nail left to bite. I was picking at a hangnail on my pinky when I saw a boy relatively my age, with almond eyes. I’d almost say he’d look asian, but he looked too, I have no idea how to say it. He looked down at a piece of paper, and cursed loudly, trying to look over people’s heads, as if he was looking for someone. The teen then smiled, and ran over to me with the biggest smile I’d ever seen. My hangnail was ripped right out. He is not my dad. He can’t be my dad.

“Aurora?” The stranger asked. I cringed; I hated my name. My mother named me Aurora because of the Roman goddess whose tears turned into the morning dew. Not because I was beautiful. Even though she wanted me to sleep forever. I nodded my head and he took my suitcase from me.

“I’m your brother Calum! Dad told me to pick you up, you know leg problems, but lets go! Welcome to Australia!” Calum screamed in my face, still holding that strong smile. Leg problems?

“Hi.” I choked out, hiding behind my hair. Lesson 24:Don’t be a coward.

“You okay? I’m your brother, I can be annoying, but I’m not evil. God I can’t believe I’m a brother!” He reassured me as we walked through the awful lobby filled with screaming children and bored parents. I struggled to keep up with him when we walked through the parking lot as I let that sneak in. Bubbly, Charismatic Calum, is related to me? My dad had another child?

‘I wasn’t planning on picking you up so my friends will be there, you don’t mind right?” He informed me, slowing down to pick up my rolling suitcase of the floor because he dropped it. I still couldn’t fathom what he just said to me. “You don’t mind right?”, he asked my opinion. There’s a first for everything.  He stopped in front of small compact cream colored car, stuffing my suitcase into the trunk. I hear laughing with in the car. Too many people. Lesson 9: you’re invisible. He opened the car door, and I slid in,muttering a thank you. Lesson 2 was the hardest to learn, manners.

I sat next to a boy with long legs, blonde hair taller than me, and a nirvana shirt. Sitting next to him is another boy with shaggy with light brown hair, laughing at what the other one most have said. I instantly felt out of place. Lesson 45: laughter is pleasure. Lesson 3: pleasure is weakness.

“Guys, this is . Aurora, these are the guys.” Calum introduced me, and a boy with pink hair turns around from the passenger seat. I gasp a little too loud, and they started to laugh at me. My cheeks turned beet red and I folded my hands. Shameful.

“I’M ASHTON!” The one far away from me screeched, louder than Calum did when he picked me up.

“I’m Michael,” The pink haired one sighed looking back at the road. I still haven’t learn number 2.

“Hi,” the one next to me turned to me fully, putting his hand out, “I’m Luke.”

...

Do you remember that shy me, still listening to lessons? Do you remember Michael being his moody self? I remember when you said “I’m Luke,” with your hand shaking mine. You shook my hand very firmly and confident. I used to be so scared of confident people, anyone really. But you didn’t. But all the same, I was still attached to the lessons. So I didn’t admit to myself I liked you until much later. You helped me forget Luke, you lead me on the path of rebirth.I’m going to die happily because of you. Whether it would have been at 17 or 85, I knew from the minute I said “I love you”, that I was going to be happy, I was going to live happily, and that I was going to die happily. I’ll say it again, I love you I love you. I felt so damn lost, being alone. You took me away, and thanks to you I see in different colours. How many times am I going to say thank you? Thank you.

(This story is basically a really long letter with her refrencing lots of memories. She says a lot of their lyrics, remember, they're not lyrics yet. They're not a band yet. k thanks. 

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