Fly // 5sos au

06

I guess I also have to thank you for sharing your ice cream with me. My hatred for you didn’t last long. You promised me you would be my umbrella. I promissed you I'd be your umbrella.

I learned that Michael, Ashton, and Calum were pretty cool guys, Michael said he wasn’t mad at him;he was just too distracted to say anything. Ashton and I had a serious debate about the banana flavor, I insisted that it was the worst thing I’ve ever had, and he complained it was an acquired taste. Calum kept saying odd ball things just to make us laugh, but Luke didn’t do anything but hand his ice cream over after every 5 spoonfuls and grunt everytime any of us tried to converse with him. Overall though, this was the best night of my life; I made it out of hell, I met my father, I had ice cream, and I had friends.

Back in America, I went to school, l was lost. Nobody bullied me, but nobody talked to me either. I would just sit there and watch the pretty girls laugh with their friends, doing my work as my mother ordered. Never did I ever think I’d have friends.

When we got home, Calum gave me a tour of the one floored house. The guest room -my room- was next to my dad’s room, and across the hall where the boys’ room and the bathroom. I was shocked that they all shared that room, and that our dad allowed it. My mother barely wanted me in the house. There room looked like mine, except there were bunk beds in each corner. They still had the dresser and the cute little nightstand. It was a dark blue, the opposite of mine.

My dad went to bed, according to Calum, so I decided to finish packing and then hit the hay as well. The boys were all stuffed into their rooms, and I couldn’t hear them, so I assumed they were asleep too.

I heard a song, once, on the radio, by Rihanna. I became obsessed with her song Umbrella. I loved it because of the way it sounded, the way her voice flowed. Before I know it, I’m singing it again. BUt this time its different, its almost like it has meaning. I began to second guess myself, I just met them, how could we be friends? They’re too cool for me, they were just being polite. It all went back to Luke, he was annoyed by me coming, and probably from me eating his ice cream. He was showing what everyone else wanted to show, I’m just holding them down.

I realized that I actually hated this song.  No matter how beautiful it was, I hated it.

You can run into my arms

It's OK, don't be alarmed

Come here to me

There's no distance in between our love

So go on and let the rain pour

I'll be all you need and more

Because

I stopped to catch my breathe. I wasn’t unpacking anymore, I was just leaning against the dresser, sobbing. I have nobody. Nobody needs me to be their umbrella, and nobody will shield me from the rain.

I tucked myself into bed, but stared at the ceiling for hours. I felt like a waste, I was never planned. My dad didn’t want me before, he doesn’t want me now. I’m just his bastard child. Calum doesn’t need me, he has his friends.

I fell asleep though, only to wake up from terrible nightmares. Ever since I left the house, I keep having this dream every time I close my eyes, that I’m back there. And she’s holding her belt, and she was teaching me a lesson. I struggled to get up, feeling weak, like one wrong step and I’d crumble. I tip toed into bathroom, only to see Luke sitting on the toilet, with a blade to his wrist, blood on the floor.

(OOOO CLIFFY I’M SO PROUD OF MYSELF. but i'm probably double updating anyway since u didn’t get one yesterday.

You like?-m)