Shadow's Within

20 : Getting to know the target... that's a first

The car roar past the street of New York in midday rush hour. The fast happening image of the people passing by in the window kept me entertain in this reserve space. The towering buildings of skyscraper in this iron jungle always fascinates me even when I was a child. A shadow crept me beneath as I saw a mega dome rolling at the outside ambiance. Madison Square Garden, a place visited by a monolith of spectacle visitors every day.

"I love coming here ever since I was a kid" Chase burst suddenly.

I turn to him. "Yeah?"

"My dad always brings me here to watch the New York Knicks. It's a tradition between us. Going to the game, enjoy the loud fans screaming and cursing. Mom hates it tho. She couldn't stand the thick eerie screaming. But that didn't stand in her way to force herself to go. She kept going even after my dad died." He keeps a steady drive, but I could see his lips arching down.

"She knew how important the game was to dad. So every week she would take me and suffer the agonizing chanting of the fan. Not once did she complain taking me take. Everytime after the game ended, we would stop at this dinner here." He points to a rundown diner.

I could only glance at the short-lived image of the diner.

"I would always order the same thing there. A BLT with extra lettuce"

"Must been delicious then" I said.

He chuckles. "Nope. It tasted horrible. But it was tradition, and mom love this diner because it was where she first met dad. So, it's an even trade, a great basketball game for a lousy meat. After the game, while eating, she would have the brightest smile painted on her. She was happy taking me to the game. So, I also was happy to gauge down a piece of meat that was overly done."

"Point is, tradition always brings happiness to people no matter how much they hated doing it." He cuts to a left route.

"Once this is over, create a tradition with your mother. Produce memory that would render her to a state of euphoria. Never let fifteen years apart creates a gap between you two. Everything has a cause and effect. What happens is the past and the effect is up to you. Follow the path that would affect your life in a positive way." He turns right this time only to be pause in front of a red light.

"I love her" I said. "Fifteen years. That's how many years I stole from her. The cessation of her happiness is my cause. The effect is her solitary life. You saw how fragile she was. I couldn't shake this guilt over bearing in my heart."

"That's your problem!" He interjects. "You always think one step back. Forget the past. What's done is done. Nothing you could done to reverse what has happened."

The lights saturate a bright red color. We push forward.

"I walk slowly, but I never walk backward." He said.

I gawk at him. "I'm sorry?"

"Know what it means?" he raises his eyebrows.

"Never turn back to your past?"

"CORRECT!" He yells almost jumping out of his seat.

I had to restrain him from bouncing out of the car while laughing. "Calm down"

"That my lady, is a direct quote from one of our great forefathers, Abraham Lincoln" A grin appears beneath his nose. "Did you see him retreat when he offered this country a way to obliterate slavery in the south and was objected countless times. No! He marched on, day by day to the time where he would finally uplift slavery from the nation."

"Yeah." I mutter. "Look where that got him. Shot straight in the back brain splatter all around."

"You think he regretted his action?"

"Who knows" I gaze across the pathway.

"I believe he didn't'! His idea and revelation had left this country a great passage to a new generation where people would be treated equally and—"

"Okay!" I said, feeling slightly annoyed. "Enough of the history lesson. I get it. Don't look back. Forget the past and walk into a better future. If want a thorough lesson of slavery, I would enroll in college or read about it in the library."

He laughs again. "Yes ma'am"

Then the conversation went still as we soar through a wall of buildings and malls. The classic architecture of New York is one of a kind. Despite its tarnish appearances, the atmosphere is sparkling. The energy radiate in this city is buoyant and dynamic. I never felt more alive. With passing minutes, we enter the Lower East Side known for its hazard. With a single take, the atmosphere is somewhat a driven alternative to Manhattan. It's a different persona for the New York. This whole ether reflects my real self. A blemish or a dull shade hiding in shadows unable to live harmoniously within the community.

Next we sail the car across Williamsburg Bridge into the hearts of Queen.

"Where we going?" Chase asks.

"To an acquaintance of mine"

"Another friend?"

"Sort of." I said. "He's somewhat of an expert in making people disappear."

Chase eyes never abandon the road. "And where does this friend reside?"

"Long Island"