Run Away With Me (Hunger Games)

Chapter 24

'I'm not ready, For the Weight of Us'

Chapter 24:

I closed the book in irritation. I couldn’t sleep. From the bed, I can spot the wall clock reading 2 in the morning. I feel tired, like I want to sleep but I can’t. I still had to think. I tried to push those haunting thoughts from my mind as long as possible.

 Apparently 9 hours weren’t enough.

 I sighed quite loudly and place the book on the table. I lie back down and close my eyes. I felt the fatigue finally settling and allowing me to sleep.

When I woke, I blinked a lot and looked around me.

It was a dream. I told myself.

In the dream we were back in the gazebo. We were dancing. I look up to see Peeta smiling down at me. He spins me around and I can’t control the laughter leaving my mouth. When I look at him again, I find Gale in his place. I grew nervous, scared. Even in my dreams, they haunt me.

They are my ghosts.

I shook my head, trying to forget it. I got up from the bed and left the room. Where I’m going, I don’t know. I descended the stairs and found myself in the gardens walking to the gazebo. I sat down on the bench and pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

From here, I watched the house. There was one window that still had lights on. Maybe I left mine on, I thought. I tried to imagine where my room would be from the outside. It would be three doors to the left… Who else was awake?

The curtains were drawn, tied at the sides. I saw Peeta pacing in his room. I leaned on the beam behind me. What am I to do?

Think. And so I did.

 I started thinking about Gale. He’s my best friend. I’ve known him all my life. He’s sweet. I’m comfortable around him. He understands me. He knows me. I-.

 I stopped myself. Do I love him? I’ve already established the fact that I love Gale as my best friend. I don’t know. I’m confused. I look up again and see Peeta.

Peeta.

New York immediately comes to my mind. I am refreshed by my memory. I find myself smiling.

Am I worthy for one of them? What have I done to make them drawn to me? I only bring disappointment.

Deciding that I’ve done enough for the morning, I walked back inside. In the hallway, I found light escaping Peeta’s door. I ignore it and go in mine. I need time. To reflect and think and decide and many other things.

Then came the flight home. It was fast. I barely fell asleep. I just stared, my mind blank. I wasn’t talking much, to any of them. Again, I’m in between. But I don’t find the energy to feel.

We arrive and I am driven back by Gale. He attempts conversation and I subtly nod when needed. I return to my room. I walk alone in silence. Which I guess was great for me. I’m definitely thinking. When I reach my bed, I immediately climb in.

I close my eyes and see them in my thoughts.

They invade my thoughts again.

The next day, I am walking to class, my books in my bag and my heart heavy. I find a seat and continue to stare. I’ve been staring too much at the ground when Gale arrives beside me. I acknowledge me with a small smile. He raises an eyebrow and sits down.

“Are you fine? You haven’t been talking” he says.

I nod “I am. Just… thinking”

I silently laugh at myself.

“Okay. Tell me if you feel sick or something”

I look at my notebook. I’m definitely suffering. But it’s a good burn. I still don’t know. The bell rings and I’m not in my usual hurry to get to my next class. I just take my stuff slowly as the other students pile out. I didn’t notice the time. That’s what lecture probably does to you.

“Come on, you’re not telling me something” Gale urges.

I look at him before sighing. “Yeah. I’m not sure what it is though” I say.

“Alright?” he sounds confused.

I am too, don’t worry.

“Are you sick?” he asks.

“No. Just numb” I mutter to myself.

“No. We’re talking now” he pulls me near tree, where he leaned.

“We are talking” I said, quite annoyed.

“You’re hiding something. You can tell me anything” he says the last part in a softer tone.

“I can’t Gale” I protested “You wouldn’t understand”

“I’ve known you all my life, I think I can understand” he says firmly. He crosses his arms, his eyes cold.

“No you won’t” I repeat and start walking.

He, of course, walks along.

“Bull” he rolls his eyes “It’s killing you. Tell me”

I ignore him and walk faster. He only keeps up with probably less effort than I exert.

Damn him and his tall height.

“Stop walking. Tell me” he says to me.

“Katniss” he calls out. I turned a corner and looked back. He was still there, swerving in between people.

“Katniss!” he continues catching up with me.

“You won’t like what I’ll say so let’s leave it be” I tell him.

“No” he disagrees, eyes determined. I only walk faster and somehow, I tripped. I fall to the ground on my knees and arms.

I feel his arm encircle my waist and help me up. I dusted the dirt off my jeans and planned to walk more if it weren’t for his grip on my arm.

“Let go Gale” I said, prying his hand off.

“Tell me” he says.

“What part of leave it be don’t you understand?” I almost yell in irritation.

“And what part of tell me don’t you understand Katniss?” he is equally annoyed at me.

Anger got the best of me. Anger along with frustration, annoyance and the likes of it.

“I’m in love with you” I say quite angrily.

His grip softens and I pull my arm out. A small smile appears on his face “What’s wrong with that? We’re together aren’t we?”

“I’m in love with Peeta too” I tell him, looking away.

I can tell that his expression darkens at the revelation. I felt frustrated tears fill my eyes. I blink them back in, willing them to not make a re-appearance. Gale was forming un-finished words, his face shifting from angry to confused to disbelief.

“Gale-“ I start but he was already walking away. And I do the same too.

-          (Shortly after)

Gale walked away, leaving Katniss in a pool of guilt. He swore slightly under his breath, he felt the anger running in his veins. It was a fuel for a fire that desperately needed to burn someone, something, anything.

Entering The Hob, Gale immediately saw him.

Peeta Mellark.

He couldn’t comprehend what was happening until he found his own fist hitting Peeta’s face.