Run Away With Me (Hunger Games)

Chapter 31

"Just one more hit and then we're through

'Cause you could never love me back

Cut every tie i have to you

'Cause your love's a fucking drag"

                                             - Nicotine (Panic at the Disco)

Chapter 31:

(Peeta)

A knock on my door interrupted  my focus on my essay. I got up from my chair and answered the door. A mailman of some sort was standing outside my door. He usually only came for my results. Instead of handing me a large folder, as he always does, he hands me an envelope.

“Thank you” I say to him before returning to my room.

I retrieved the letter from the inside and instantly recognized Katniss’ messy script. I resisted the urge to read it. I placed it on top of my desk and I returned to writing my essay. I needed so much focus now. I couldn’t afford to be distracted.

Half an hour later, I finished the fourth and final page of the damned thing. My eyes rested on the envelope. For a while, that’s all I did, contemplating. My fingers took it and opened it yet again. This time, I didn’t shy away from the letter, her letter.

Peeta,

Knowing how moody you are recently, I doubt you’d read this after you receive it. Look, I’m terribly sorry. I really can’t. I know I’ve felt the same in the past but unfortunately no longer. I know what you’re thinking, if I don’t fancy you, it better be Gale. No. You’re wrong. I don’t fancy him either. You both are my best friends and I don’t want to lose either of you. Thanks for that. I never got to thank you did I? For New York? Well, Thank you Peeta. Speaking or writing rather of New York, There is news. We’ve been trying to tell you but you’re too stubborn for your own good aren’t you? So a couple of days ago, after you know what happened, Gale and I were sent to see Snow. Damn was I nervous. He told us that were offered a place in their (the Capitol’s) New York facility. It’s a great opportunity Peet, I couldn’t turn it down. I’m sorry. I tried telling you. Peet, I’ll miss you. I already do. Please keep that in mind. How many times do I get such an awesome best friend who’d watch V for Vendetta with me? Anyway, I miss you. I’ll miss you. I’m sorry I couldn’t see you before we left. Gale’s sorry too. We are to leave early tomorrow around 7? Yeah. The next time I’ll be back there is Graduation. I’ll see you then. Smile Peet, it always looks good on you.

Love, Katniss.

How casually she said it. She has no idea does she? How she’s affecting me.

I glanced at my clock, 9:20 AM. She’s long gone. I felt it all threatening to burst, the anger, frustration, whatever I feel for her. I screamed in agitation and kicked a nearby chair. I bury my face in my hands and heard another knock on my door a few moments after.

“Open it” Finnick said. I did and he made himself comfortable in my chair, as always.

“I could hear you 3 dorms down the hall” he says.

“How’d you know it was me?” I ask, leaning on the table.

“I’ve known you for so long. Don’t even question why I know” he says pointedly. I sigh.

“What do you need?” I ask.

“What’s that?” he looks at the letter still in my hands.

“Katniss wrote me a letter” I say.

“Aww. Adorable” Finnick smirks.

My glare shut him up. “So she left?” I ask.

“Yeah” he breathes.

This is exactly what I need. To help me from this effect she has. It’s a drawback of some sort, if you can call it that.

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. That was my latest mantra. I sighed again. The day seemed to drag on. I try to focus yet I can’t. All I think about is her.

How can I survive today? Or better yet, 3 or 4 more months of her absence?

Days later, I felt dead. Like something heavy was residing in me and forcefully sucking away the life left. Leaving me only for a few moments and returning when I think of her again.

I don’t know anymore. The best thing to do, I think, is to stop completely. Meaning, I have to abandon whatever remaining ties I have to her. I’ll only burn further if I don’t. So when I returned to my dorm, I locked the door and took my time. I started with the letter and put it in a box I had. Next was a book, I remember that day clearly.

It was a lazy day. Katniss tossed me a book. I caught it before it could hit my face. “What’s this?” I ask. “A book” she rolls her eyes. “You’ve been complaining that you’re bored” “I know but I don’t want to read a romance” I scowl. “Don Quixote isn’t romance” she scoffs. I took a good look at the cover and flipped the pages. “It’s amusing really” she says. I nodded and put it on the small shelf I had.

The first draft of the painting I made was next. It was unfinished and soiled, hence why I started on another one. Later on, the box was filled with useless items that only I understood. I placed a cover on the box and shoved it under my bed. This was going to be a long 4 months. I’m dying already.