"He's not waking up?" Tommy's mother asked teary-eyed.
"I'm so sorry, ma'am. We've done the best we can." Dr. Ross said completely together.
"There's nothing I can do?" She let the first tear fall.
"I'm so sorry. We'll let you have as much time as you need with your son." Dr. Ross rubbed her shoulder to console her.
Meanwhile I was standing next to her barely keeping myself together. I had to step out because honestly, I wasn't strong enough for me AND his mom. I stepped outside to pull it together. I closed the door behind me and paced in a small circle. I breathed slowly and prayed God give me strength.
Hann walked up and stared at me intensely, "Are you alright?"
"No." I admitted.
He peeked into Tommy's room and it clicked. "I'm so sorry, Knowles."
"All of us are." I put my face in my hands.
"Hey, hey, look," he pulled my hands from my face. "You're going to lose some and you're going to win some. Look at Josi, thats a win. If you need strength or courage, go to the front and look at Josi's charts. Remind yourself of what a win looks like."
"Thank you." I wiped my eyes.
"I'll see you later." He pat my shoulder and walked off.
I really let his words set in. A smile crept on my face just thinking of the day Josi beat her cancer.
"They'll be more wins. They'll be more wins." I said to myself over and over.
The doors opened and Dr. Ross stepped out.
"Are you okay?" She asked.
"Better." I nodded.
"If you'd like, you could be on my service again. You need to see more success and less loss today. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a Heart Hero." She smiled.
"Sure. I, uh, missed rounds and-.."
She put her hand up, "Its fine. I have a consult in room 54 in thirty minutes. Be there." She strutted off.
Today might not be all that bad. I ran down to the cafeteria to get coffee before the consult. I was waiting to pay for my coffee when Corey bunped me. I honestly don't understand why he wants to talk to me. I thought I was some low class whore who slept around to get to the top. Why would you want to associate with me? I ignored the bump and continued to stand there. He bumped me again. He was directly behind me so I had no where to really move. He bumped me again. I let out a sigh to let him know I was getting annoyed.
"C'mon B. Why you being like that?" He whispered in my ear.
"Are you kidding me? You call me a whore and expect me to be okay with that? We're supposed to be buddy buddy? Fuck off." I turned around and whispered angrily. I turned back around and rolled my eyes. I could hear him laugh slightly.
"I didn't call you a whore." He whispered back.
"Fuck you." I mumbled.
He laughed again. It was my turn to pay for my coffee. I paid quickly and searched for a table. I sat at an emty table and dipped my head in my phone. Jaheem was calling me.
"Hello" I answered.
"Hey. How you been?"
"Just fine. You?" The small talk was a little weird.
"Great. Uh, we should talk."
I laughed, "About what?"
"C'mon B. Don't be like that."
