Ludus (Dance Academy Fanfic)

Kat

I tap my phone to my leg, subconsciously expressing my anxiety. I know it's stupid, because I'm in a relationship with him, but at the same time he doesn't always reply and there's more than a lot of times where he's gone AWOL. 
"Hey!" Tara says, sitting on the chair beside me. I'm at breakfast, picking at a muffin that I don't really want to eat. 
"Hey T" I say, offering her some of my food. 
"No thanks" Tara said. "Banana milkshake for me! Got to stay fit and healthy" 
Fine, I think, watching her get her drink from her bag. It's her loss. Seriously, muffins are so good. 
"So, Kat, how are you?" 
"Fine" I say. 
I can't help but notice the difference in Tara. The flatness in her voice, the way she doesn't ramble on anymore.
Silence surrounds her, and so does mystery. I've seen her go out to meet Ethan, and that's when she seems happiest. It's odd though, because old Tara would be telling me all the too gross details and gushing so much I thought she'd explode with excitement. The Tara sitting before me was calm, fresh faced and professional. The Tara sitting before me a few weeks ago would have fly always in her hair, muffin crumbs down her top and a smile bright enough to light me up. It made my chest hurt to think this, so I looked at the river to ignore the silence. It was beautiful in the morning, and the sunrise had ended so the sun was lazily hanging in the sky. I felt like staying out here all day, or meeting him and enjoying it with him. 
"How's it going with you and Ethan?" I ask. 
"Good" she says, smiling and never breaking my gaze. 
Another silence settled between us, and I was amazed at Tara's ability to not seem affected by it. She acted like it was the most natural thing in the world, to sit in awkward silences with me. I checked my phone again, and grinned once I saw his name flash up on the screen. 
"Who you talking to?" Tara asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. 
"Uh, no one" I say.
"Oh no, it's not no one! Kat tell me! Who are you texting and why do you love them so much?" 
Her tone made me laugh. 
"Oh god T. Okay"
"Well?" Tara demanded, leaning forward in her chair to push me to tell her. 
"Well... I may have fallen in love with someone" 
Tara leaned back in her chair, taking another sip of her milkshake. 
"Who is it?"
"Um, well, we wanted to keep it secret. Just taking our time, you know?" 
She nodded. "So when will I get to meet him?" 
"Soon, Tara, soon. I'm guessing. Well, I'm hoping" 
Tara leant forward to take my hand. 
"I'll be here when you do. Anyone who stole your heart away must be great" 
Her words meant too much to me, they buzzed around my head. I was reassured, until the whole feeling was crashed and fell away at Tara's next words.
"But don't you think it's a bit suspicious? Have you ever met him in real life?" 
"I have met him!" I cry. 
"Okay, okay, only asking. But why won't he meet us?" 
"I don't really think my relationship has anything to do with you" I say dryly. 
"Wow, okay then Kat. Sorry for showing some interest" 
I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to drain my anger away. 
"It's okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it" I say. 
"Well, as long as you're happy" Tara says, and the shine in her eye makes me think that there is signs of the old Tara. Just as quickly as I saw her appear, she is gone again. 
"I am happy" I say, and I grin at the truth. I am happy, as long as I'm with him anyway. 
"Tell me about it. Being in love, I mean" Tara asks me. 
"Shouldn't you know? Being in love with my brother and all?" 
"Yeah, of course. I just wanted to hear your side." There's something strange about her tone of voice, but I don't push it. 
"I don't know" I begin. I think of him, and the words come to me. "It's really weird. It's like I'm me but even better, like he brings the best out of me, you know? And I could be tired and hungry and stressed and sad and whatever, but when I'm with him it doesn't matter. I am happy, and there's nothing to stop that. It's a little scary knowing that one person has all that power over you, but it's exciting. He's exciting" 
Tara smiles and nods throughout my speech. 
"I know what you mean" her eyes have that far away dream look, and I know she's thinking of Ethan. 
"When you just look at him and you're like crap, it's him. I'm in love with him" she says. 
I nod in agreement, before pretending to be grossed out. 
"Tara please, spare me the Ethan gush" I say. 
She laughs, poking me in the side. 
"Why, do you want me to tell you what a great kisser he is?" She grins at me cheekily. 
"No! That is it Tara Webster, you have crossed the line. This is too gross for me to handle" I say. We both laugh, until time catches up on us and we have to leave for class. I wish I could stay and talk with her all day, because it's rare now that we have moments like this, but life catches up with us and the present becomes past, the moment forever a memory. 

I look at the clock. 5 past 8. The time has dragged on all day, and with Tara out and no one else around, I was bored out of my mind. I hung upside down on the couch, my legs dangling in the air, shoelaces trailing. Suddenly my phone rang, and me heart stopped when I saw who was calling. 
"Hello, you" I answered. 
"Hi" he said. His voice sounded distant and distracted, as if something was going on around him that was more important than me. 
"Are you okay?" I ask. "Where are you?" 
"I'm fine." He replies. "What are you doing?" 
"Oh, nothing much. Just hanging" I sigh at the wasted opportunity of the pun as he couldn't see me. I was literally hanging. Comedy gold. 
"Want to meet up?" He asks me. 
"Yeah!" I grin, even though he can't hear me. 
"Great. At the usual place?" 
"Cool. Be there in twenty" 
"Great. See you then" 
"Bye" I say. 
"Bye"
The line goes dead, so he doesn't hear me say "I love you" before I press the end call button.