The Road Home

Part 1

"Keep on dreamin' even if it breaks your heart" -Eli Young Band

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"Baylor we have to go, you have to understand! We can't stay here, it's to hard! Everywhere I look I see Jared and Ethan how could I do this everyday!?"  Mom says while sniffing and holding back tears.

"Mom! How am I supposed to feel they were my brothers!? I was there I know what happened! You act as if you are the only hurting and like I don't feel it. Daddy, please don't leave! We need to stay at the ranch; we can't just leave." I say standing aghast in the kitchen staring at my parents boxing up all of our memories, anything that we had before they died.

"Sweetheart, your mothers right," turning to my mom, "but Lacey, we can't just forget we have a daughter, she needs us. The ranch can be sold and we can move on, we can't get rid of our child."

"NO!" I yell, "You aren't selling, I'll stay. I turn 18 in a week anyway, I can do this. I wont leave this place!"

"Baylor-" My mom starts.

"B are you sure this is how you want to live your life? It's alot of work and with the boys gone..." dad sighs, "It'll be harder."

"I can do it. I have been doing most of the work in the last few months anyway, and Owen still is working a few days a week. I wont be alone." I say excited already planning it out in my head.  Like I said I have been feeding, cleaning, and moving all the horses and the few chickens we have. I ride regularly and can just mix up what horses I use.  Ethan, used to help me with the training we provide for people, be it helping to saddle break, trailer train, or just help with riding skills.  Owen has been working with us for two years helping to do any activities and chores around the ranch grounds and barns we need help with.

"Baylor!" Mom says waving her hand in front of my face.  "Are you listening?  If your sure about this... I guess we can test it out. But, on one condition. You have to stay in contact."

I nod and grin leaping forward to hug my parents. "Thank you. Thank you! Thank you! I promise I can do this and it will be okay. I just... really can't leave.  This.... This is home and where we all grew up. Would Jared and Ethan want us to just pack up and forget all of this? Everything we worked so hard to get? To keep?" I frown, "Sorry."

My parents stand up and start packing again my mom trying to hide her tears. The tears I caused, I know she is probably feeling like I'm leaving and never coming back just because I wont come with her.

   Sighing I head up the stairs to the old storage room my brothers had converted in to an photo gallery and reading nook.  I flop onto an old coach where they used to sit while we spent time in here. I glance at the wall where in sloppy writing Jared had written "Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you what path to take" Proverbs 3:6. He always said that when he felt lost or confused on where to go or do in life he remembered that verse, and always felt peace; as if God was telling him it was okay, that he would be a guide.  I used to put all my trust in God, but now, he took my brothers, how am I supposed to follow when I don't know how anymore?  How can I trust that he wont take everything from me?  

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I jerk awake, from the dream, the memory of the day before my parents left our little town in Oregon. Instead they went back where daddy came from, back to Oklahoma.  It's been two years why am I thinking about this. Sighing I get up, glancing at the clock 6:10 am. Only five minutes early, I turn off my alarm heading to my dresser, pulling out a beat up old pair of jeans and a plain blue-gray t-shirt and undergarments.  I quickly toss on my clothes, slip into my boots while throwing my tangled annoying auburn hair up into a messy bun.  Walking down stairs into the kitchen I see Owen hop out of an old beat up car, silently celebrating that even after my family left he still stayed to help out. 

"Hey there, stranger," he says as he wanders in the side door.  "What we makin' for face stuffin'?"

Rolling my eyes I pass him a bowl with bananas to be cut, with a carton of berries. "Cut and put it in the bowl, I got the eggs and waffles goin' any complaints? No? Well good." I glance at him to see him trying to open the carton of berries with a knife. "Umm you do know there a slot at the front to lift up and open that right?"

"Wha..? Oh oops." He says putting down the knife and finding the opening.

"So who's car is that? What the heck did ya do to your truck?" I ask.

"It's my sisters." He says simply, "my trucks in the shop getting the breaks fixed."

I nod but say nothing, knowing things between he and his sister have always been tense. She thought that and I quote 'he has no reason to stay working at some mangy old poop hole of a pace when he could go to school again and work somewhere good enough for the family name.' I always thought she was a pushy little brat trying to get him to do something he had no interest in doing. Owen is only a couple years older than me, him being 22. We have always been friends but until my parents left he was always closer with Jared.

But we've gotten closer and he knows how I still question what the plan is for me? What am I meant to do? I have felt so lost in my faith since Ethan and Jared died.  Owen works everyday but Sunday and Wednesday now and comes to have breakfast, and to eat all my food for lunch because as he says he can't cook.

Ten minutes later the fruit and other food are done and we are sitting at the table quietly eating, before heading out to work.  As we finish he collects our plates and puts them in the sink before turning to me. "I don't know how I'm expected to handle her, she doesn't mind her own buisness and thinks she can tell me what to do. I may go nuts." He chuckles shaking his head and walking out the door. Turning off the lights I make sure the door closes behind me as I walk out.