The artist and Misunderstood (frerard)

.:XXVIII:.

Gerard's finger twitched slightly, side to side before up and down then to finished it off a clench of his fist before restarting the pattern. Soon My fingers began repeating the patterns against my leg, mimicking his perfectly. 

His movements made my eyes trained on them, my eyebrows furrowed as his twitches grew worse and worse within each minute, I doubt he'd be nervous about anything since we're just sitting in the park doing absolutely nothing, he was sitting on the chair, legs under the table as I sat upon the base of the table, very exact same position as to when me first met. 

The thought of use first meeting made me smile for a second.

"Are you okay?" The words left my lips as a cloud of steam raised up as my hot breathed mixed in with the winter air. Luckily it'd start to warm up soon because clearly the cold and I didn't mix well together despite hating summer and all the sun and apparent cheery mood, at least my fucking lips won't fall off from being numb for hours on end.

"Of course why you ask?" He blandly stated while placing a cigarette between his lips just after he had glossed them over with saliva with his tongue. Inhaling the toxins he flickered his eyes up to me, giving me a sceptical look before back down to the leafs beneath his feet as the flicked the ash onto the dead plants.

"Your hands...their fidgeting?" I made a gesture with my index finger to his hands seeing one in his lap and the other holding the burning cigarette. He sighed looking at his hands before shrugging his jacket covered shoulders looking up.

"Nothing unusual" He gave me a toothy grin as he offered me the cigarette and happily inhaling it I still wasn't exactly happen with the answer. I took noticed as to how they stop making twitching movements when they became occupied with a cigarette.

"So all it takes is an object to stop it?"

"Appears so" He broody tone appeared as he answered the question. 

"So why-"

"Aren't you just a bag of treats this morning, full of so many questions" He cut me off with a sarcastic remark and a smirk lacing his lips. His attempt to make me forget about my question was a fail since it was still buzzing it my head.

"Why do you always need to hold something?" I quickly rushed out in inhuman speed so he couldn't cut me off, luckily he had caught what I said correctly. He ran a hand through his hair before swinging his legs over the edge and turning his body out to lean against the table looking out to the park. I instantly found my self running my hand through his coal black locks hearing him hum, leaning into my touch more each second passing.

"Fine when I was dating Bert he-he had a possessive type hold on me, always holding my hand and if I let go he s-snap at me" He took a breath quickly before continuing.

"So me being scared I always made sure to hold his hand to reframe from a shouting at, so I guess now that he's gone my hands have a weird thing, weird twitches if I don't something with them" He gestured, waving them around before picking at the loose strings of fabric of the hole on my knees from my ripped jeans.

It was at the moment I had fully understood his hand twitches, why he always either clenched his fist, held my hand or cigarettes, it was out of fear, fear of being punished or in trouble. A nervous gesture to help through the thoughts, it made a lot more sense now. It was horrible that he had to feel fear around his boyfriend, feeling like he needed to comply to every order or he'd never live it down. It was utter discrimination to a human being and I'll make sure he never has to feel like that around me. 

"Yeah I know it's a rather bizarre thing but shit happens" He mumbled leaning to rest his face on my legs as my hand roamed in his hair as I flicked the cigarette away.