Procrastinators on Stage (Chris Kendall/crabstickz fanfic) *unedited*

Part 4- I Don't Like Him

I yawned loudly, showing off my pointed canines as I did so. I scratched my head as I made my way to the bathroom, humming lightly to myself as I walked those nine paces. I swung my wash bag from my hand and hugged my towel to me with my other arm. I probably looked quite perky at the time, especially as I’d just woken up, even though it was almost eleven, but really, I could probably glare at someone and render them speechless and petrified without a second thought.

I had to listen out for any sounds coming from inside the bathroom before I entered, and I was happy to find that the bathroom was empty. With the bathroom door locked behind me, I took off my onesie which was pattered with icons of cookies, cartoon hearts and Cookie Monsters, before I gingerly climbed into the shower. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to control the temperature gauge for the water, and even after that, the water burnt my skin and left me feeling like a steamed lobster as I got out of the shower and got dressed. I decided to spray body spray and deodorant liberally in the hopes of disguising the smell of warmed flesh.

I bundled up my belongings and took a quick glance at myself in the mirror. I’d left my makeup bag in my room and was planning to put my war paint on when I returned to my room, just so Chris couldn’t complain about any potential makeup marks in the sink, or that I was cluttering up his space. My skin looked a lot paler than it usually did, but then I hadn’t gone abroad for a little while, and some spots were forming like volcano clusters on my chin. Perfect.

I sighed and tugged at my ear lobe, a habit I sometimes caught myself doing when I was irritated. It just so happens that I get irritated a lot. I get irritated when I can’t remember a certain word for my writing, when I forget to put a wash of clothes on so I don’t have anything to wear, or just when certain people exist. People just irk me. Even my best friend Maddie infuriated me when I first met her. She was always teasing and mocking me. She’d pulled pranks on me, hidden my shoes when I was in a rush and laughed at my hair when I’d tried to save money at university by cutting my fringe myself rather than going to the hairdressers.

But, Maddie’s a cheery character and I’m the Grinch at Christmas, except I’m like that all year round. Maddie grew up a little eventually, and she still enjoys playing tricks and jokes occasionally, just less lethal ones. I missed her already.

Whilst thoughts tumbled around inside my head, colliding with the insides of my skull like a hoard of bouncy balls, I unlocked the door and tried to open it. The doorknob rattled but didn’t open for me. My eyebrows twitched upwards as I tried opening the door again, but received the same result of the door sticking. I groaned and tipped my head back. It was kind of typical that more than one door was broken in this place.

I tried opening the door once more but failed yet again. I growled in frustration and looked up at the ceiling as I tried to think. I tapped my fingers against my leg as my eyes wandered around me in search for some inspiration. I closed my eyes and dropped my head level again. There was only one thing I could do.

“Chris!” I yelled through the door, pelting the painted wood in the hope of catching his attention. “Christopher? CHRIS!”

“WHAT?”

I sighed theatrically. “The bloody bathroom door is stuck! Help?”

I heard a burst of hooting laughter which increased in volume as Chris walked up to the other side of the door. “Are you serious?” he laughed.

“Yes,” I stated in exasperation. He chuckled again. I’m glad he found this so amusing.

“Right. Is the door unlocked?”

“I’m not an idiot!”

“Well, you’re the one locked in the bathroom, not me!” he chortled. I groaned and tipped my head forward to lightly head-butt the door, repeatedly.