Procrastinators on Stage (Chris Kendall/crabstickz fanfic) *unedited*

Part 36- I Don't Like Nightmares

Feeling this scared wasn’t something I’d thought I’d be able to grow accustomed to. My body would fail me each time, leaving me shaking, sweaty, tearful, and lost in a sarcophagus of fear. Adrenaline would rise up inside me in waves of intense pain which felt like it was rattling my very bones. It felt like I’d be sick all over again in a repeat of my first call back.

That night, as I lay beside Carrie in my bed, dreams and curses filled my mind like a dense fog where my dream of theatre life seeped into my nightmares.

*

I clasped my mouth and looked at the audience with terrified eyes. Illness surged up inside me and consumed me, blurring my vision. I crumpled to the floor and sat there in the midst of internal torture as my throat seemed to fill with choking despair.

The room began to spin around me like a merry-go-round as dappled ghosts ran like flocks of ravens in the corner of my eye. Without me noticing the process of which it came to be, the stage around me became splattered with a black liquid which had the glossy sheen of both murky ink and pooling blood. A steady dribble of the stuff trickled from my panting mouth.

Cries of outrage and disgust echoed around me, calling my attention to see the deserted stage I was sat on at the Apollo Victoria Theatre. An appalled looking group of individuals were rising from their seats in the audience, their faces elongated in silent screams as they saw me. Their skin was glossy like the ink mixture, the flesh tones dripping from their skeletons like hot wax from a candle. Some clasped their hands to their mouths to silence their horror.

“How could you fail again? After all we did for you? You’ve failed us!” these monsters chanted in unison as their dripping faces swam and contorted before my eyes. Their teeth gnashed together as they spoke, their muscle patterns and complexes evident under their thin covering of melted skin. Their skulls seemed to burst through their skin, the bone bleached white as these creatures decayed before me, filling me with persistent fear.

I sobbed loudly as their faces grew and filled my view, yelling degrading and hurtful words at me ever while. “Leave me alone!” I cried out, shielding my face with my hands as the encircled me and their voices echoed persistently. “I can’t do this anymore! Stop it!”

*

I slowly opened my eyes and watched the blank ceiling above my head, dwelling on the remnants of my dream which were gradually drifting from my conscious. My fear clung to me, mingling with the dew that lay on my brow. My heart convulsed, causing that violent surge of adrenaline to drown me as I clutched at the bed sheets in the hopes of finding some form of security. I couldn’t let myself down like the ‘dream me’ had. How could I?

In a state of delirious awareness, I took care to climb around a still sleeping Carrie to go to the bathroom where I splashed water over my face after relieving myself. The mirror showed my face to be slick with water, fear, and sweat, making my spot scars look like small dents on the surface of my skin. I was grateful that if I was able to be Elphaba or her understudy, or even any role, then the heavy stage makeup would easily mask my blemishes.

From a small distance off, I could hear a whining sound twisting in the air. This sound appeared to source from the lounge and so after watching my curious facial expression in the smudge-painted mirror, I went to investigate what the sound was.

Not to my surprise, I found my flatmate slumped in his beanbag before the glow of the TV screen, a funnel of blue light falling back across his shoulders like a regal cloak. His hands were sluggishly manoeuvring over the controls to guide his character around on screen. From what I could tell of the dark landscape highlighted in blue and orange, he was playing Portal 2 (I guessed it was the second one because of the higher quality graphics and vaguely recognisable gameplay). The high pitched buzzing sound appeared to be coming from the TV signal combined with the purring of the game disk rotating in the console.