Procrastinators on Stage (Chris Kendall/crabstickz fanfic) *unedited*

Part 31- I Don't Like Guilt (I Can't Even 4)

Seeing people smile is possibly one of my favourite things. There are so many types of smiles: forced ones for photos you don’t want to be in, sugar laced smiles, flirty smirks, bashful smiles, your-face-will-split-if-you-grin-any-wider smiles, and many more. A smile of accomplishment, however, was what everyone was wearing in the studio now.

Adam had just told us that although our studio work was done, we’d have to set off to the ‘secret location’ in half an hour, so we could have a break until then. Upon hearing this, everyone present had slowly started to trickle away or clump into little groups of conversation. Eventually, this only left me, Chris, Rhys, Adam, Steve, Jimmy, Dan and all of the other guests behind on set. Even then, this group dispersed and broke off as Dan went to go and change out of his Medwig costume and Chris and his fellow producers went to go and look at playback footage. I could clearly hear the sounds of Chris’ introductions playing through the tinny speakers of the small play back screen which only made me more excited to see the final article in a month’s time.

All of the YouTubers who were still present were standing together against Mia’s desk in a small circle of conversation that Dan joined again a few minutes later. I, on the other hand, was comfortably unwinding by sitting on PJ’s desk whilst scrolling through my Tumblr feed, giving the illusion that I was actually busy.

Becca’s wig and glasses were piled on the desk beside me whilst I took a break from her character. It had been fun to let my inner fangirl take control, but competing in an egg and spoon race as her was definitely going to be a task. I just had to hope that it wouldn’t be too strenuous, seeing as the most exercise that I’d done recently was manoeuvring my way around London every day.

Now that I actually had some free time in my week for these thirty minutes, I was verging on being bored and fed up of it all. After twenty minutes, I was honestly bored out of my mind and couldn’t wait to just have something to do. I was tempted to ask where the nearest toilet was just to simply have something to do with myself. Should I do that, ask where the toilet is? Ah, the entertaining thoughts of a bored person.

I found myself walking over to the circle of YouTubers and gently easing my way to stand between Jimmy and Mia, who had Dan’s arm around her shoulders. The whole group paused in conversation to look at me then, their eyes feeling like they were searing my skin.

“Hi, Jamie,” Jimmy and Louise said at the same time.

Louise looked to Jimmy with a childish grin. “Jinx!”

“Fucking hell,” Jimmy mumbled as he mimed zipping his lips shut.

“I bet you don’t even know his full name, Louise,” Jack chuckled, nudging Louise’s arm playfully.

Louise smiled awkwardly, obviously flustered. “I know his full YouTube name. That counts?” Jimmy laughed silently beside me, his shoulders rising and falling repeatedly.

I took this as my chance to ask Mia where the toilet was, which I did in as confident a tone of voice as I could muster.

Mia raised one corner of her mouth at me. “I’ll show you where they are, if you want? We should have enough time.”

I nodded slightly and looked to the floor awkwardly. Why couldn’t I truly be myself around these people, instead resorting to be someone who barely spoke? Was it because I’d been playing Becca for the past few hours or just because I didn’t know them well enough?

Dan kissed Mia on the forehead before he let go of her. Mia waved after him and the others as she gathered her jacket up from under her desk and the two of us left the set.

“How did you find the show?” Mia asked me as we attempted to navigate our way through the spider’s web of corridors that resided in this building.