Procrastinators on Stage (Chris Kendall/crabstickz fanfic) *unedited*

Part 39- I Don't Like Stony Eyes

It was ideal that I had to tidy the theatre on Saturday mornings seeing as it meant that I could leave the flat early before Chris even considered stirring. Unfortunately, I was free for the rest of the weekend and after today, I wouldn't have to tidy the theatre anymore as this was my third week of the deal.

I shuffled my wardrobe back from the door a little to allow me to escape from the room I'd been caged in for the past fifteen hours, and proceeded to slip into the hallway to silently let myself out. I looked forlornly down the long hallway in the flat to where the doorway to the lounge was, and where I could see part of Chris' bedroom door leading off from the lounge. He was right through that door. I could go and grovel or try and explain my side of the story. But was my side really worth telling? My side still showed that I'd wanted to split up Quartzisnotonfire, so what was the point? After cleaning, I'd have to confront him about it. The same went for Carrie, Mia, Dan, and anyone else who I'd hurt. I didn't deserve to stay here anymore, I truly didn't.

Grudgingly, I ducked my head down and let myself out.

I kept this posture as I walked through London and around the underground to get onto my train. It was barely 7 am when I left the house, meaning that the streets and underground network were practically blank compared to their usual bustle. The plain streets seemed to make my thoughts echo and multiply in my head to fill up the empty space. My thoughts began to deafen me as I continued to travel to the underground. I flinched with each step, my jaw muscles twitching uncomfortably. I eventually put my headphones into my ears and let Dan Smith serenade my worries and calm my mind whilst I perched myself on the under-stuffed seat of my Tube carriage.

My thoughts had only momentarily ceased to be like this when I'd called Maddie last night. My friend had been astounded that I'd even told Mia about everything, but she'd softened a bit once I'd told her what I'd learnt about Mia and Dan, let alone how guilty I'd been feeling.

"Do you want me to come down there? I could sort things out for you?" Maddie had offered sweetly whilst I'd sat slurping and hiccupping through my veil of tears.

I'd chuckled sadistically. "No. Thanks, but no. I'm tired of other people sorting things out for me. It's too much to live up to. I just need an opportunity."

"My baby's growing up," Maddie had said. There was a slight giggle in her voice.

I'd snorted slightly and had shaken my head whilst wiping at my eyes. "Shut up," I smiled.

"You love me really."

"Yeah, yeah. Love oo."

"Love oo, too."

Just thinking of my best friend's support made me want to cry all over again, but obviously I couldn't because I was in public, for one, and my makeup would be ruined too. The amount of concealer and foundation that I had piled around my eyes to hide their puffiness made my eye sockets feel stodgy and heavy. I was not in the mood to fix my makeup if my eyes did end up leaking.

Before going to work, I stopped in at the first café I came to so I could grab some breakfast. The café I found at city level upon leaving the Underground was one of those warehouse turned hipster bars. It looked quite rustic in a welcoming way with its exposed brickwork and mismatched interior from where I looked in through the stained glass design that was set in the front door. This café had obviously been modernised a little to better fit the mainstream high-street area that surrounded it on all sides.

The café was beautifully warm compared to the harsh British weather that I abandoned outside, and the scent of the roasting coffee beans was almost overwhelming. I thought that such a secluded and unique café could surely act as my hiding place until I was needed at the theatre at nine.