Procrastinators on Stage (Chris Kendall/crabstickz fanfic) *unedited*

Part 32- I Don't Like Being Emotionally Invested

How had he managed to make something as simple as talking so attractive? Seriously, the dinner that I'd been invited to go on by Jimmy after the 'I Can't Even' show was just an excuse for me to watch Chris from across the table in the most inconspicuous way possible. Maybe the most inconspicuous way to watch him would have actually been to rewatch his YouTube videos without telling him, but nothing could compare to seeing him now.

Less than an hour ago, when we were still seated at dinner in a pizza restaurant, he'd managed to show everyone else up on the conversation front. He could easily harness the attention of a crowd and control everyone in any way that he saw fit with his words. He'd just looked so...happy, comfortable even. He had smiled in such a way that it became an infectious thing that everyone else seated at the table had mirrored effortlessly.

The lazy glow through the paper lanterns on the light bulbs had lit him up like a spotlight on a darkened stage; this soft light making him look ghostly pale whilst enhancing the shadows at his jawline. The music in the air had been a mere backing track to his graceful storytelling technique, his voice mellifluous on the ear. And that smile... I'd go close to saying that it was a thing of beauty.

I had to wonder if I'd ever made him smile in such a way. I would love to be on the receiving end of one of those smiles and have my insides voluntarily transformed into mush by it.

My phone buzzed from where I'd discarded it at the end of my bed upon returning home from eating a whole pizza by myself. This dancing motion caused my mattress to vibrate a little, physically pressing me to sit upright from lying flat out on my bed, and staring at the ceiling in the midst of daydreaming about my flatmate who was just a room away from me. Was this what the typical teenage girl in the majority of teen fiction felt like concerning her hopeless love towards the school jock? If so, I'd just gleaned this whole new area of understanding and sympathy for those characters. Why would those authors put their characters through that, for fuck's sake?

I slowly hefted myself upright to crawl sluggishly towards my phone before simply dropping down at the other end of my bed next to my phone, where I checked my messages from my very comfortable reading position.

"Any chance you want to Skype tonight? Marvel misses your face!" the message from Maddie read.

Since our last Skype session almost two weeks ago, the two of us had had brief conversations on iMessage and sent a long stream of ridiculous Snapchats to each other as well. I really should try and Skype her more often, maybe once a week if the two of us could manage to scrounge the time to do that. Despite how badly I needed to update my blog and how preoccupied I was in thinking of how stunning Chris would look if I managed to make him smile somehow, Maddie came first. And besides, there was one question that I'd been putting off from asking her over iMessage in the hopes that I could see her physical reaction to my question over Skype.

No sooner had I decided to Skype my best friend did I find my laptop turned on and the Skype network opened up before me. After checking that she was online, I video called her. She accepted the call within seconds. Seeing as she'd responded so quickly, I had to wonder if she'd been waiting for my call. I had to hope that she wasn't asking to Skype because something bad had happened.

Upon seeing the relaxed and content face of my friend again on that pixelated screen, I knew that I would be able to voice a question that had been shadowing my mind ever since she'd first mentioned it during our last Skype session:

"How are things going with dog walker David?" I blurted to her, not even giving her chance to think before I pounced on her with my direct question. I'd been waiting to ask her this question for two weeks now and by asking it now, I could maybe gauge if she was being truthful or not by viewing her physical reaction to it. Finally, I'd been given the chance to ask her and that very question had prised its way out of me like a caged beast that had been growing and growing in preparation of its release.