Random thoughts I have

School hours again

Lunch detention
I has lunch detention today because I had seven missing assignments due to a personal event. It sucks because this morning I turned in all the assignments  this morning and still had to go. It's a waste of my time. This time  I could have spent with my boyfriend talking but no I had to be in hell.
The time that I have
I feel like I waste to much time just getting worried over nothing. Also i feel like I don't have enough time to hang out with my boyfriend. It kills me inside not to see him at school everyday. Also I spend too much time on my phone.
I don't deserve
I know I don't deserve my friends. They are always way to kind and funny and without them I wouldn't have motivation to keep going. I don't deserve my parents and how well they treat me even though I don't treat them with as much respect as I should. I don't deserve my ability to draw. Some one else could have been blessed and had a happier life if they had this talent instead of me. But most of all I don't deserve him. He makes me so happy he gives me a motivation to keep going on. He loves me not matter what I do. He talks to me whenever he has the chance. I feel like I'm not enough to him in return. I don't treat him like I should as a girlfriend. I just hope he knows I'm gonna try harder. He always cares about what I'm feeling.
Him
Since he's on the mind right now I'm just gonna continue talking about him since these are my thoughts. I couldn't have Met a better person then him. I know everything I say is cheesier than a cheese pizza but I say truth. I would be lost without him talking to me and making me feel better. He's always funny and makes me laugh. When I hold my hand it's one of the only things I look forward to. He makes me feel happy unlike so many other people. I just wish we would be together forever. One thing that scared me though is people say never to get into a relationship to seriously. But he made me realize not to care what they say. It's my life I love who I want and when I want.
Criticized
I have been criticized on so many different things in the past. Somethings it was constructive criticism but other times it's just plain mean. People judge me on what I look like. I know I'm not the prettiest girl. But you don't have to comment on my flaws. That's just creates self hatred. Also people criticize my drawings but I see that as helpful. When I was writing my story soul mates people said I was rushing to much into the story line. Even though that slightly hurt in mature enough to take that comment and make it useful. I'm taking some time off to think about how to better that story .
Adults
Most of the time they're are helpful but some of them are major butt holes. It's very hard to communicate with them as children/teens. As a girl I know we can be sassy. But we don't have to get in trouble for every time we say something rude non- intentionally. My parents say I don't have to many rules to follow. Little do they see I have rules to every aspect of my life. They say I look way to grown up. It just annoys me. They don't let me wear certain things. Also I'm not allowed to be on my phone for a long time.
Lesbians and gays
This thought just crossed my mind. I'm not technically against lesbians and gays. They are people never the less and we treat them with love and respect as we do everyone else on this planet. Even though I am not lesbian doesn't mean I hate the people who are. I just wouldn't be one. Also I feel like a lot of people get so offended whenever someone says they don't agree with people being lesbian or gay. It just bugs me because most of the Christian religion don't like people being bisexual. It's apart of there religion and I respect that. Doesn't mean we should pick on them. I just hope one day we can all agree to disagree. I will love everyone else just as Jesus loved all of us. As people.
Conversations
I wish conversations would stop being awkward and flow naturally. I wish people would just speak their feelings (as long as there positive.) I wish we wouldn't be holding back anything we would want to tell eachother because we think we are going to embarrass ourselves. I want everyone to trust eachother. As childish and naive as it sounds.
I'm kind of running out of things that I want to share. Leave a comment down below on a topic you would want me to talk about. Even if it's personal.