Random thoughts I have

9:57pm

Motivation
I don't know if it's just me or does everyone else lose motivation randomly. Like for example today after school I just took a nap and when I woke up I didn't feeling like Doug anything. Even right now I still don't feel like doing anything. I don't feel like going to school tomorrow either. Then I have times where I feel like making a drawing, writing a book, adopting a baby sea lion, taking over the world at like 3 am. I'm just weird like that.
Boxing
Ever since I was little I have takin a liking to martial arts. Any way I did karate when I was little but that didn't last too long. My brother also dos wrestling and that was really cool to me. He seemed like he had so much strength and power. I wanted to be like that too. Over the last two years boxing seemed like something cool I would want to participate in. But, my mom says she doesn't want my "pretty" face to get jacked up. I wouldn't mind being hurt. She said she'll think about letting me join soon thought. Hopefully she says yes. I also feel like I'm growing weaker. This week I tripped a kid on accident ( not really) and he spun around so fast a pushed me against the locker. Of course he was just kidding but I felt so defenseless. Also one of my friends who reads this challenged me to a fight. She punched me twice. I wanted to attack back but something didn't feel right. I don't like hurting my friends even though I seriously could have jacked her up. I have the strength to fight my brother for at least 3 mint yes straight without getting too hurt. But I feel like I need to get stronger. I need to learn self defense.
Other girls at my school
Okay don't get me started on some of the girls at our school. I feel like a lot of them just need to get a life. All they do is bully other people. But some of them are really nice too. One of my friends is this popular girl and at first I thought she would bee stuck up and mean based off of her social rank and beauty. But no, she turned out to be really nice. I guess you can never judge a book by its cover. Also I can agree with a lot of guys, girls are very confusing.( coming from a girl myself) we just don't say things straight up. Well maybe that's just me. Also girls have a problem. (some guys too) they like to try and flirt with or "take" another persons boyfriend/girlfriend. I understand if they like them or something but it just gets annoying. Some girls also send mixed signals on who they like. Also guys if you like a girl or think she's pretty, tell her she's a human being she's approachable. Also if you complement a girl it will make a huge difference in Her week. (Hopefully that paragraph made some sort of sense to you sorry if it didn't :/
People I don't like
I'm a pretty chill person or at least I think so. I don't normally get mad at people. They would have to do something very wrong for me to dislike them. But I just don't appreciate a couple people. There's this kid I'll call him Kaiden. Kaiden annoys me sooooooo much sometimes. He just asks me stupid and uncalled for questions. Also he likes to annoy my boyfriend. Mostly by touching him. It sometimes makes Kaiden seem gay. (That's not bad if u r gay tho) there's this other girl that I didn't like for a long time cause she used to like my boyfriend but now she likes someone else. (I'm happy about that) for the longest time she always flirted with him.
Why am I so awkward
Ok so a lot of people pressure me to be more cute with my boyfriend. It gets annoying sometimes. I'll do it on my own. Also I know I'm a socially awkward little crap. A lot of people expect that I have already kissed him. Just saying I haven't yet. I'm also just scared in general that everyone's silently judging me on how I look. I feel like I'm so freaking ugly compared to everyone else. Also whenever I talk I stutter. Mostly because I'm nervous to saying anything to anyone. I also have a big fear of crying in front of other people. It's just makes me uncomfortable. Also whenever I get hurt I just shake it off even though i feel like crying.
What I think of myself
Honestly I think I'm an okay person. I don't believe it when other people say I'm pretty. Like ,what?I think I'm all strong even though I'm weak. I don't even know how I have a boyfriend (or friends in general) I have okay grades (A's and B's) I just want to live a happy life. I just wish my life was more interesting. It seems like I just do the same thing over and over again. I wish someone would do something crazy or out of the ordinary to make my life more interesting.
Secrets
I don't have many secrets that I haven't told anyone. But people often trust me. I have mostly never told anything to anyone else. If y'all want to know something about me or have a question about me just comment . I'm tired and it's now 10:51 so goodnight my friends and don't forget to comment!