The Healing (Book Two)

Five - Falling Into You

Mia's POV

It's been about a week since my argument with Ethan and I have not been able to bring myself to break up to him because I am scared to hurt him. He's been through so much already battling cancer that it pains me to hurt him even more.

I know that eventually I will break up with him but I want it to make it as easy on him as I can. Addison says that the sooner I do it the easier it is for him but I also know I have to be gentle when I break up with him.

I sighed heavily forgetting that Alexander is in the same office as me. After that sigh, I felt his gaze on me but I refused to look. Every time I looked at him my heart would beat a little faster making me feel slightly light headed. 

As usual, he began to take over my thoughts again. He was so different from before his accident but at the same time he was exactly the same. He was much happier now, there was always a smile on his face or a laugh escaping his lips. His eyes were always glinting with amusement or mischief. I remember when I first saw his family picture, I had wished to see him like that, smiling so carefree. I felt that his accident took him back to that happy person that he was. Would knowing how his father really died make him become obsessive over finding his supposed killer again? I hated to lie to him even if they thought it was for his own good.

I continued working on my laptop trying to ignore his powerful gaze but my body betrayed me and my cheeks turned pink. I had to look up when I heard his voice say "is everything okay Mia?"

I wanted to say no and explain to him how I feel. That I still feel the attraction between us, that I never stopped loving him... but I knew it would all be a waste because we cannot get back together. I nodded and said, "yeah just a little tired, I'm going to go on my break now."

"Are you having lunch with him?"

He didn't say his name but I knew he was referring to Ethan and I shook my head.

"He's busy today."

His lips turned into a smile which I could tell he tried to hide.

"Would you like to join me for lunch today then?"

"I would but I don't think I should..."

"Why not?"

"That's how we started to date last time."

"Mia it's just lunch...I... look I just thought maybe you'd be able to fill me on more... on what the last three years have been like. We were married so you know me more than anyone else.. my family doesn't tell me everything, I feel like things are left out and I trust you to tell me everything..."

I could see the openness and vulnerability on his face and I couldn't help but slowly nod. I did want to spend time with him and help him especially now that he needed this so much...

We ended up walking to a nearby restaurant which brought many memories back since we'd been here before. I sat down across from him and watched him as he looked at the menus.

"Hmm I don't know what I should get" he said pensively.

"You don't remember what you always get from here?"

"I've been here before?"

I nodded and saw the confusion on his face. This confusion turned to annoyance and then anger. I felt bad for upsetting him and wanted to comfort him so I lightly touched his hand which was on the table.

He looked at me as if trying to figure out what I meant by it so I quickly removed my hand.

"We've been here before, we both get the Greek pasta salad. It's delicious here.. but you can try anything you'd like."

We ended up ordering the usual and I tried to keep up the small talk because I didn't want to have to delve deep into our past.

When we were done he looked at me intensely and said, "will you answer a few questions?"

I nodded slowly, "I can try."

"My dad.. he had past away when we met?"

"Yes"

"How did you and I get together?"

"I worked for you... you started asking me to dinner and we just got close, we started dating and after some time we got married."

"And then you got pregnant?"

"I did." I said with a lump in my throat. Whenever I thought of that baby I never got to hold it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.

"And we divorced after we lost him?"

"We were having arguments before then, we weren't getting along anymore and we couldn't be together like that, so it was many reasons that led to our separation..."

"Could you elaborate?"

"I would prefer not to.."

"Well could you tell me more about our relationship? Before the bad things happened, you know our first kiss, our favorite moments... I know that there must have been many but it's all empty in my brain and I just want to have those moments back..."

"Our first kiss was in your car, you had dropped me off after dinner, it just happened really."

I still remembered that first kiss. How his soft lips enveloped mine. His sweet breath fanning my face. It was like I was under a spell that I did not want to break.

"Tell me more?" He said sounding like a little boy who asks his mom for another story before bed. Someone who doesn't want the magic to end.

"I can't Alex... it hurts."

"I'm sorry.. I just.. you're the only way I can ever know what happened."

"I understand but it hurts me to think back to those moments..."

"Can I ask one more question? Last one, I promise."

"Just one."

"The love between us, was that real? I just..I don't see a strong love like that breaking because of a few arguments."

"Alex, the love between you and me was as real and as powerful as it can be."

He intense gaze was penetrating into me making me feel vulnerable and completely open to him. I wanted to close back up, I could not let the wall that I build between us down because my heart was too hurt to be able to love him again.

As much as I wanted the fire in his eyes kept me from looking away. I could feel my body slowly heating up under his gaze and that wall crumbling down.

Thankfully the waiter interrupted whatever was happening between us and I let a long breath out and stood up quickly after our bill was paid.

I was walking as fast as I could somewhat distracted because I wanted to get to the office quickly and away from this conversation. I could feel Alex next to me but I refused to look. All of a sudden I heard someone say "watch out!"

I felt strong arms around me holding me against a firm and muscular chest. I looked up to see Alex's concerned eyes looking down at me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I heard the skateboarder who had almost just ran into me skate away.

I could feel the beating of his chest on mine and could see the warm glint in his eyes.

"Mia are you alright?"

I nodded because it felt like I could just not talk.

Ethan's POV

I sat in the car fuming. I knew she was going to get back with him that's why I was spying on her. I watched him embracing her outside of some restaurant. I just don't have lunch with her one day and she's already in his arms. I slammed my hand against the steering wheel in anger.

I don't understand why she just can't love me back after everything we've been through. When I was dying on that hospital bed I knew I had to fight my cancer to get better so I could have a future with her. And now that I'm here she decides to leave?!

I won't allow that. If I can beat cancer I can beat him.