Burned Out Flames

Chapter 10

Weeks have gone by and I still haven't seen Lela anywhere. I began asking people where she's been and no one has seen her. I'm extremely worried now and I can't focus in any of my classes knowing my best friend could be anywhere in the worst condition. I called her more than 100 times and texted more than 50 , no exaggeration. I've gone into her dorm and seen she hasn't touched a thing in weeks. She's been reported missing and I'm slowly losing my mind. That's my best friend and I can't lose her , I need her back. She is the only person who helps me figure out life itself and without her I'm helpless. She's my anchor, the one who keeps me in control, the one who keeps me from going insane from past and present events , the one who can make me smile even when I don't want to. She gives me advice and her opinion and everything she has to say matters to me. She's not only my personal therapist but she's my best friend and we stay together no matter what happens.

I should have never let one stupid argument get between us. It was all because of me , this was all my fault and no words can explain how terrible I feel. I should have went to the game with her , I should have took down those walls , I should have gave archer another chance. But I didn't do anything of those things , I let her run away and I didn't try to get her back until it was too late. I haven't slept in days , I refuse to until I find her and when I do I want to apologize and tell her that she was right because she was. I shouldn't have been selfish or inconsiderate. Why didn't I care to think about someone else's feelings besides mine ? I wasn't open minded when I should have been. Now I'm here bawling my eyes out because I can't find her and what if she's.... what if she's dead ? The last time we talked we were arguing and angry at each other and nobody should leave while angry at one another. You never know what could happen and it would be a pain if your last memory of someone wasn't a good memory.

This must be fate telling me that I deserve to feel this pain , to feel the pain that I brought onto others without knowing. But nobody deserves pain and that's what I gave , I gave pain to the only people that mattered to me. I have no idea what to do now , I don't know where else to look , I don't know who else to talk to , I'm unorganized and my mind is scattered all over the place. Lela wherever you are I want you to know that I am stubborn , I am an asshole , an inconsiderate jerk but I need you here with me. I can't do this alone and I can't just throw away our friendship as if it doesn't matter because it does matter to me. I cherish this friendship and I will until I am put down into the grave. We don't share blood but you are still a sister to me and you always will be and right now I need your guidance. Everything you have to give, everything you have to say , I'm right here and I will always be here with open ears. I'm waiting and I will wait for as long as I need to , I won't give up on you, I won't give up on our friendship. I'll change my selfish ways , I'll put down my walls, I'll keep an open mind. Wherever you are , I'll wait for you to come back. Please come back , Lela. You're my best friend, I miss you.