HHHHH

Hic

I took a long sip from the bitter coffee. It was warm and comforting, filling me with heat and energy I currently lacked. Spring was slowly but surely getting here. Frost was seen melting off of delicate flower petals and leaves. I sighed. It had been a while since I had time to myself. I leaned back in the metal chair. The cafe had few people in it. The silence was nice but I missed Miles already.
"So," Sarai sat in the chair opposed from me. As she sat the chair squeaked from being dragged slightly across the floor. "How has everything been?" I sighed again then took another sip from my coffee.
"Actually, quite well," I smiled. "The doctors were just talking about how memory is returning at a normal rate and his therapists say he's almost ready to go back to work." Sarai gave a little clap.
"Yay! I'm so happy for you," she exclaimed, beaming her bright, royal smile. I gave her a smaller one.
"Thanks," I said quietly. It's been about a week and a half since Miles' returned home and a few days since we started sharing a bed together again. It was nice to wake up in his arms again. I didn't realise how much I had missed that. We were moving slowly, but surely. As his memory was slowly returning he had been getting back to his normal comforting self. Which was nice but I was always wary. I kept no alcohol around the house and sometimes I specifically drove certain ways so we wouldn't pass by bars or liquor stores. I tapped my fingers on the cup.
"Hansel," she started softly. "Is there something wrong?" I shrugged.
"Not really," I huffed. "I don't know, I'm just a bit paranoid." Sarai took a sip from her tea with a curious look in her eyes.
"About Miles?" She asked. I shrugged again.
"A little," I admitted. "It's just... I don't want him to pick up on some old bad habits, you know?" Sarai nodded. I let out a groan. "I just don't know what I'm doing. The other day he started crying about how I'm too young to be engaged. Saying I'll change my mind and I've never thought I would before but... That night I almost did. The night, Sarai. What if he's right? What if I don't ... what if I stop loving him? Am I making a mistake?" She was definitely taken aback by my sudden outburst of fears. I took a steady breath in through the nose. I was not going to cry in public. Not anymore than I already had. She put a gentle hand on mine.
"Hansel," she said softly. "I can't answer that. Especially right now. Is taking care of Miles too stressful for you? You know you don't have to put all that weight on your shoulders."
"No, no, that's not a problem. I'm happy to help him," I assured. "I just, I don't know, I worry he's going to go back to turning into the monster he was becoming before the collision. Or worse, he becomes someone I don't even know anymore." Sarai frowned. She gained a thoughtful countenance.
"How much longer does he have to keep seeing the doctors for?" She questioned. I thought for a moment.
"For a couple more months at the rate he's been going, maybe less," I told her. She smiled. I always was grateful his injuries weren't too severe that he could recover physically so quickly. Especially since his brain was affected so bad that he had lost his memories.
"I've got an idea," she beamed. "I think what you two need is a vacation." I stared at her skeptically.
"What?"
"You two need time to rekindle your love life, you still have to celebrate your anniversary, right?" Sarai's voice was riddled with excitement.
"I don't know, Sarai," I sighed. "I don't have the money or anything to do something like that. I spent half our wedding funds on medical bills already." She still had a mischievous smile about her face.
"I'll pay for it," she said a matter-of-factly. I began to refuse but she cut me off. "Nope, nope, this is not a request any more. I am now a doctor, and as your filthy rich doctor I'm telling you you have to take my money and spend it on a fabulous vacation in California. Go to the beach. Go to Disneyland. Do things you two used to love. No wait better yet-" she pulled out her phone and started texting someone. I raised an eyebrow. "Done. I just had my butler book plane tickets, fancy hotels, and got you season passes to Disneyland. And I am also giving you access to my membership at club 33." I gaped at her.
"You have a membership at club 33 and never told me?" I exclaimed in disbelief.
"Of course I do. Have for a long time, I just rarely go to Disneyland so," she shrugged. I shook my head.
"No, Sarai, this is too much, really, I can't accept this," I denied.
"I can't get a refund for any of this, you'd be wasting my money," she fired back. I whimpered.
"I'll pay you back one day," I insisted. She scoffed.
"No you won't, but it's okay, it's a gift, my wedding gift to you two. You're welcome, congrats!" She took a long sip from her tea. I groaned and my face got red. I put my arms on the table and rested my head in the pocket between them. She crossed her arms and smirked smugly.
"Don't worry, it's not for a while, by the time you go on the trip Miles will have most likely regained his memories," she comforted me.
"That's not the problem, Sarai," I pointed out through gritted teeth. I looked up a bit from my arms. "I don't like people spending money on me." She rolled her eyes.
"Sure, unless it's Miles' dad splurging on your wedding fantasies," she quipped.
"That's different," I objected.
"Whatever," she sighed. I sat up slowly. "What's done is done. Besides, you need it. You look deader than doornail." She poked me on the nose.
"I do?" I whispered. I touched my face at the realisation. Sarai nodded.
"We should have a spa day on your next off day. When Auntie Ellie wants to hang with Miles, because she will," She suggested. "Let's go to Free Spirits. That would definitely cheer you up." I groaned.
"Sarai, you know I can't just take from you like that," I told her. She rolled her eyes.
"My dad owns the resort! It's not like I pay when I go there anyway," she shrugged and took a sip from an espresso I didn't even notice got delivered. "It's better to just let me treat you, Tony, I'm your BFF remember? Also," she rested her hand on mine. "You've been through a lot, you deserve to be pampered." I took in a deep breath about to object once more but I got distracted by my phone's text tone going off. I thought maybe Miles might be done with therapy early but it was actually a text from Calisto.
Can you believe these assholes are making me watch a work safety video. ME. Like I'm gonna be doing any manual work? Ugh it's so boring killll meeeee.
I smiled and shook my head. I told him that he should still be paying attention to the video because it might be important then put my phone back in my pocket. I looked back at Sarai who had a lifted eyebrow as she sipped her tea.
"Was that Miles?" She questioned.
"No, he's not allowed on his phone during therapy," I told her. She squinted.
"Then who made your face look all weird?" She asked.
"What?" I scoffed. "What does that mean?"
"Oh please, you were looking at that phone like you were talking to the boy you wanted to go to prom with," She pressed. I blushed. Did I really look like that?
"It was no one, just your cousin being annoying like usual," I tried to wave her off but she wasn't having it. Sarai covered her mouth and took a deep breath.
"Boy," She said pointedly as her hand came down in a chop motion. I knit my eyebrows.
"Girl?" I mimicked her motions. Her face stayed stagnant.
"This isn't a joke, Hansel, don't think I haven't noticed the way you two have been looking at each other," she spoke sternly. "I see everything. And I'm not stupid. I see how you two flirt. Antony, you've been through hell, and I get that Cal has helped you a lot, and I appreciate that. But don't let lines get crossed, and if they are, you need to be honest about your doubt with Miles. I may be your best friend, but don't forget I've been Miles' since high school. Plus I'm always ready to call on someone's B S." I gaped are her.
"Are you accusing me of potentially cheating on Miles?" I scoffed. She shrugged.
"I didn't say it," she sighed. "All I am saying, is be careful, you remember how relentless Cal was with Miles, if he starts catching feelings for you-" she took in a sharp breath- "I don't know. I don't think you'd cheat. But I also don't want things to go to far with Cal. Also I don't like being put in awkward situations because of the gay men in my life, it's happened too many times. And don't get me started on the bi disaster that is your fiancé and the shit he's put me through." I chuckled and shook my head.
"I promise I won't put you in any awkward situation," I told her. "On purpose." I added. She snorted and took a sip from her drink.
"It's never on purpose," she grumbled.
It was silent for a moment. The cool winter breeze whirred past is and stirred the leaves on ground. I looked up towards the deep blue sky. It wasn't very cloudy, which was rare for a winter day. The crisp air was currently more refreshing then it was uncomfortably cold. I thought about Sarai's words carefully. I didn't think I felt anything more than friendship towards Calisto. Did he feel like he liked me as more than just a friend? I would be lying if I said the thought of him being interested in me didn't send butterflies racing around my stomach. Though, who wouldn't? He was extremely attractive and wealthy beyond belief. And a little famous. The idea of a sexy, rich bachelor swooning over you is the fantasy of literally every person who grew up poor.
I shook Calisto out of my head and thought about Miles. My chest grew tight and I squinted hard at my drink. Why would I even humour the idea of Calisto. I loved Miles. I was in love with him. I thought about every good moment. Every thing he ever said that warmed my heart. Every touch he placed that made me melt. Every tender kiss that had me soaring. Our promise to hold each other forever that we planned to make. I spun my shiny golden ring. My mind had officially been cleared of the guy who I used to hate and now was completely focused on the one I've always loved.
Miles was also pretty hot. Light olive skin matched with dark brown curly hair and chiseled Greek features. His unique hazel eyes of greens and golds. I smiled at the thought of his adorable gap toothed smile and his pretty British accent, how it thickened when he woke up early in the morning and I could hardly understand him. His voice and music were like a gift from God. It could always make me feel better or comforted when I was alone. He had some abs on him too, oh boy they were yummy. And his ass- I glanced at Sarai and blushed. I tried to refrain from letting my thoughts turn naughty due to my friend sitting across from me but I couldn't help it. I was engaged to a hot piece of ass like holy shit I was lucky. I remembered a day at the beach. I was sitting on the towel eating some fruit while Miles swam back to shore. When he walk toward me it felt like something out of a movie with how slowly he seemed to walk up to me and the water droplets dripped over his pecks so sensually my eyes wandering down his chest passed his abs to a friend I knew was hiding behind a pair of flimsy swim trunks. That night had not been PG13 to say the least.
"He's been cheated on before," Sarai said, breaking my rowdy brain images. Oh god we're back on to this.
"Yes, I know, I know how bad it hurt him too," I sighed. "I'm not going to cheat on him! Stop saying shit that makes me feel like I already have. That would be impossible. I'm not an ass hole." I was getting tired of her accusing tone and looks. She held up her hands in defence.
"Okay, okay!" She conceited. "I know you're not, I'm just making sure." I scoffed and felt my phone buz again.
Brooooo that video wasn't helpful at allll it basically said don't put your hands in the cracks of the machines like no shit really. I really don't feel like investing in-
I stopped reading and put my phone down. I'd read it later. I felt off talking to him now. Thanks, Sarai. I felt a little bit angry at her. I had just become friends with Calisto, and now Because she said all that shit about him and I I'm going to be awkward with him because I'm an awkward person. Didn't she want me to be friends with him? Did she think I wanted fuck any guy I was friends with? That was infuriating. It wasn't long before I had to pick up Miles so I let myself stew over it in the car. I couldn't believe she thought I had the capacity to cheat on my fiancé. Especially with everything going on. Did she really think I was so evil?
I popped my headphones in and watched stupid YouTube videos on my phone while a waited in the lobby for Miles. I wanted to calm down before I saw him but the negative thoughts kept eating at the back of my mind. I glanced around anxiously at the people sitting near me. I felt like they were all staring at me. Like the we're judging me as if the knew something I didn't. I squeezed a hand on my trembling knee. I felt my panic begin to set in. I heard Miles talking distantly as he walked into the wait room where I sat bouncing my leg and biting my lip.
"-if I am not able to lift something- Oh! Hansel!" I saw him beam at the sight of me. I gave him a small smile in return and waved.
I finally took in how different he looked now. His previously long, curly hair had been cut short, fuller with curls at the top. He now had a scar on his forehead that ran up to his scalp. A couple more on his cheek and chin that were less prominent. Even though he was making significant strides, he definitely was still not back to his original pique physique. His long sleeve black shirt was not as fitted as it used to be. His skin paler than it usually was. His eyes were still the same though. He still had his beautiful hazel eyes.
I stood up to greet them. The lady in scrubs next to him held a clip board and had a her bouncy spiralled hair up in a ponytail. She shook my hand and told me her name was Jasmine and she was a nurse. She pulled me off to the side where Miles couldn't hear.
"Miles is looking good, but his left arm is still a bit shaky. Heavy lifting is a no go, same with strenuous walking or running. We'll work up to it, but his improvements are on track," she told me. My heart was beating erratically still. I guess I seemed to be acting normal enough. She handed me a folder from top of her clipboard.
"Here are some exercises he should be doing at home every day, it usually helps if someone joins in, makes some patients feel less silly," she chuckled and gave her a small smile.
"Sounds good, thank you a lot, Jasmine," I said. I waved at Miles to join us. He thanked Jasmine and we left. Time seemed to move rapid fast and super slow at the same time. I knew I just had to hold it together until we got home. Miles talked about his day in the car as I tensely gripped the steering wheel screaming at myself to get it together. I couldn't believe I was letting Sarai get to me so bad. She wasn't even right! She was so far off from how actually felt.
I spared a glance at Miles who smiled and laughed about something I wasn't paying attention about. So why do I feel so guilty about it? I swallowed hard. When we finally pulled up to the apartment Miles quickly jumped out with his folder in hand. I sat and stared down at the steering wheel trying to focus on something. My thoughts whirred in my head to fast to comprehend. A knock at the window made me jump. I rolled it down for Miles. He leaned over with a concerned look.
"You okay?" He asked. "Don't you wanna go inside?" He pointed in the general direction of our apartment. I nodded and pulled out the key to our living space and handed them to him.
"In a minute I need to... uh I just need a minute, don't worry I'm okay," I tried to assure him. He seemed sceptical but took the key. He leaned into the car more and reached for my hand.
"Alright, but don't be too long," he grinned. "I'm gettin' a little hungry and I don't like eating alone." He bent down and gave me a chaste kiss. It took me by surprise. We haven't really kissed since that first night on the couch. It was so nice. His lips on mine almost made me forget all my worries. As he started to pull away I put a shaky hand on his shoulder to bring him into another kiss. His free hand lifted to the back of my neck and his fingers softly caressed my hair. His lips were so soft and he was so gentle. Our lips matched perfectly, like they were made for each other. We moved in sync. I wanted to pull him into me. To feel more him like I hadn't for months, like I would lose him again. But instead I pulled away and opened my eyes. He did the same. He was still smiling so softly. I felt as if he saw me. He knew me. That's how he looked at me. Like he knew how much I loved him and he loved me back. He kissed my cheek quick and pulled back out of the car.
"Like I said, love, don't be long," he said cheekily. He threw the keys to catch them and look cool but fumbled and dropped them. He let out a small curse and I laughed as I watched him walk away glancing back at me with a goofy red face. I chuckled as I watched him go inside. I inhaled a deep breath. I didn't really notice how much I needed that. It helped clear my head immensely. There was my answer. I wouldn't give that up for anything in the world. I could still feel my anxiety levels in a heightened state but my heart rate was normalising. I slowly pulled out my phone and saw the messages I missed from Castillo.  I bit my bottom lip as I opened them. I lingered over them before I responded. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and got out of the car. I don't know why I was so worried.