HHHHH

bum bum bumm

"Miles! You actually made it!" Jordan squealed. She jumped him into a bear hug. He let out a squeak of surprise. Gabriel helped peal her off of him.
"Sorry we're just really happy to see you up and about," he explained. Miles grinned and scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably.
"Er yeah, no problem, I get it," he said. He glanced up at me for reassurance. I nodded and I grasped his hand, giving it a small squeeze. Jordan pouted and held onto Gabriel's arm.
"So can you really not remember us?" She asked. Miles just nodded sadly. "Damn I'm sorry bro, that must be hard, having a bunch of people acting like they know you and you having no clue. Every day must be like a family reunion with those family members who are like 'do you remember me, I changed your diaper' and you gotta tell them you don't or lie." Miles tilted his head.
"Huh, yeah I guess that is a pretty decent description of my experience so far," he said. I huffed a quiet chuckle. Gabriel laughed as well and let us into their living room which had been decked out with snacks and party decor.
"Wow, you guys really went all out for something that's supposed to be just an small get together," I smiled anxiously. Jordan crossed her arms and made a small 'hmph' sound.
"Ah, well, we actually didn't decorate or get any of this stuff, we were just going to have some chips, soda, maybe some pizza, the normal stuff, but-"
"The Bhatti's thought that was quote unquote 'unthinkable'," Jordan interrupted Gabriel, putting up air quotes for emphasis. "They're coming back with even more stuff. It was mainly Cal's idea. I wasn't gonna invite him but since you actually like him or something he'll be partying with us." I felt my heart skip a beat. Cal was going to be here? I tried to suppress my excitement but before I could my excitement quickly turned into a cold uneasiness. I remembered what Sarai said about Cal and I. I didn't want to do anything more that might make it seem like we wanted to be anything more than friends. Because that wasn't the truth. We were just friends.
"That's nice of them and you didn't have to invite Cal if you didn't want to," I told them, sitting down on the couch with Miles. He grabbed a Dr. Pepper off the table and cracked it open.
"Sorry but who are the Bhattis?" He asked before taking a sip.
"Your rich, pretty friends," Jordan explained.
"Remember the girl from the hospital? Sarai? Well it's her and her cousin," I added. Miles turned beet red and covered his face with his hand not holding a drink.
"Oh, god. I still haven't apologised for how I acted I feel so foolish. I was such an arse," he groaned. I laughed and put my arm around him.
"Yeah you were, just a little," I admitted. He playfully elbowed me in the rib.
"You're supposed to take my side!" He hissed.
"I did! I said you were only a little bit of an ass," I teased. He shook his head.
"No respect for me whatsoever," he scoffed. I rolled my eyes and smiled as he leaned on me more. Things had been getting more comfortable between us since the car kiss. And it was amazing. Waking up to him in my arms and cuddling and smooching before making breakfast was my favourite morning routine. We were starting to get back into the groove of our old dynamic. Gabe and Jordan just watched us amused. I told them about what happened at the hospital when Miles had flirted with Sarai.
"Hoo, boy, I can't believe you did that," Jordan cackled. "That's so weird to imagine."
"I get it! Look I didn't know who anyone was let alone knew I was engaged. She is pretty, you said so yourself!" Miles huffed. Gabriel took in a deep breath.
"Wait until you meet Cal, he's the one you actually used to date," he said. Miles seemed taken aback by that. I shot a glare at Gabe who just shrugged with a playful smirk on his face. Apart of me felt insecure about giving that knowledge to Miles, even though I knew he would have found out eventually. I was about to speak up before I heard a rampant knock at the door.
"Speak of the devil," Jordan grumbled begins her can of sprite. Gabe got up and opened the door.
"Holy fuck it is cold as balls out there, I can't believe you made us go out in that weather, it's so bad for my skin-"
"Oh my god shut up-"
"Excuse me princess you do not tell me to shut up-"
"You're being obnoxious!"
"You're existence is obnoxious!"
We all stayed seated as the cousins argued in the door way, even Gabe had snuck back over to us after closing the door. Cal was certainly a big atmosphere changer. Miles just shifted uncomfortably, my arm still wrapped around him. I rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.
"As we were saying, Miles," Jordan continued, annoyance obvious in her tone. "These" she pointed at the two socialites arguing behind her. "Have been your best friends since high school, needless to say you upgraded with us." She smirked. Miles chuckled, his voice catching the cousins' attention. They gasped his name at the same time and rushed over setting the bags of food they had brought down. I was pushed off to the side by Sarai so she could hug my fiancé.
"Oh my God, I love the new haircut!"
"You seem to be getting so much better, the colour is back in your face. Or are you blushing?"
They proceeded to fawn over him and talk over each other. I crawled off the couch toward Gabe and Jordan and began eat some of the spread on the table. Sarai and Cal had been dressed to the nines as usual. Never an off chance they don't look good.
"Who else is coming?" I whispered.
"Just us," Gabe said. "We invited the twins but Olive said she was busy with the kids, and if Olive wasn't gonna show the chances of Declan showing are slim to none. They are attached at the hip." I nodded. It's probably for the best. Olive was always super uptight and condescending towards Miles. Their relationship was strained to say the least. Declan was a lot more chill, but he also smoked a lot more weed. He and Miles were a bit closer but not by much they could just handle being in the same room together without arguing or throwing passive aggressive comments at each other. I'm sure in his current condition they would have been a bit more understanding and chill but you never know with Miles' family, they were all so unpredictable.
Miles looked over at me, his face screaming at me for help. I waved and stuffed more food. He pouted at me glancing at the cousins. I rolled my eyes and stood up.
"Alright! Alright, give the guy some air to breath," I said grabbing Miles' hand and pulling him off the couch. "I'm hungry and I'm sure everyone else is too. And the food smells so fuckin' good." Gabe and Jordan hummed in agreement.
"Oh, I'm starving," Miles beamed. Sarai quickly gathered the bags of meals and lead the gang to the kitchen, I grabbed another cracker on the way out of the living room. Sarai laid out the food and brought out utensils to use. She had gotten Thai because it was easy to share and never failed to be delicious. Not to mention Miles really liked it.
We all began digging in as Miles caught up with his old friends. This was the first time He had gotten to hang out with people he used to be close with that wasn't me or his aunt and parents. He seemed to really be happy. His gapped tooth smile lit up the room. And his laughter was like music. You could tell he really listened because he hung on every word our friends would say. Anything that was important to them was important to him, even if it was something that might seem small to others. His happiness was contagious to the others. I smiled, too, but I couldn't help the anxious pit in my stomach that had been growing for a few days now.
I had been bottling up a lot of emotions for awhile now. I was trying to keep it all together for him but each day was getting harder. My own insecurities, intrusive thoughts, work stress, Miles' medical state- just so many things building on top of one another. It was a recipe for disaster.
I was a sensitive guy, not that that wasn't already pretty obvious. I had major anxiety issues that I've been working on for years now. I'm definitely better now but that doesn't mean I'm perfect. And if I could afford medication or a therapist, I would already have it. But sadly that's not the boat I'm in.
A soft bump of the shoulder brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see Cal smiling down at my with his perfect, shiny teeth.
"I'm happy to see you voluntarily eating something other than applesauce and ice cream," he teased. I rolled my eyes as I took a huge bite of Pad Thai. He sat down next to me with a sigh.
"Whatever," I said through the food. He chuckled and put a hand on my knee under the table. I felt myself stiffen at his touch. His hand was warm and gentle, the gesture was obviously meant to be comforting. That didn't mean I wasn't super hyper aware of the sparks that went up my leg. I swallowed slowly.
"I mean it," he whispered. "It's nice to see you doing well. It genuinely makes me happy." I could feel his breath on my cheek. No one was paying attention to us at all.
"Well, uh," my heart beat was racing. "Miles has been improving so goodly and, um, our relationship has been getting better, too." I think I said this to test him. I wanted to see how he'd react to me talking about my relationship with Miles. He didn't hesitate but he didn't move his hand, he even started rubbing his thumb gently against my jeans as well. Thoughts about what Sarai said on our coffee date ran through my head. I didn't want anyone to think there was anything going on with Cal and I, because there wasn't. He was just being a comforting friend, I told myself. I knew I should have probably moved away or said something considering the fact it already looked like we were doing something to Sarai but I kind of didn't want to. Because truth be told, I kind of liked it? In a platonic way to be sure. I didn't want Cal's hands any where inappropriate on my body. Nope. And knees were not inappropriate. And why should I be so worried? I know I don't have anything to hide! I'm not doing anything wrong so I shouldn't care.
"Goodly, huh?" He snickered. I glared.
"I failed English, bite me," I snipped. He got even closer to my ear with a husky laugh that sent shivers down my spine.
"Don't tempt me," his voice rumbled, reverberating through my body. Alarm bells began going off in my head as I started to realise even if I want to just be friends, it could be that Calisto wanted something more. It didn't really occur to me that might be the case.  Even though I might distinctly remember Sarai saying he might, I didn't believe it. I was definitely not his type and he knew he was definitely not mine. He was always so interested in Miles. My breath hitched as he moved his face away from mine. I distinctly felt his hand move just a tiny bit further up my leg. Barely enough to notice, but I did. My heart was racing again but from more than just the anxiety. I should say something. I should say something. I could. No one was even looking at us. They were too interested in some story Miles was telling about some old lady from his group therapy. I could say something right now to him quietly and not cause a scene.
But...
Why was there a but. There shouldn't be a but. I was engaged. My fiancé was sitting just a little ways in front of me totally oblivious. Like I said before, Cal wasn't my usual type. He was a spoiled rich kid hunk and I hated that about him. I couldn't stand him some of the time. In fact, we disagreed about almost everything. And yet here I was letting my leg lean into his touch, letting my face remain stagnant as I continued to put food into my mouth. He also didn't say anything about it. I just felt his grip tighten in a way that sent signals to a place that was not so innocent. I felt guilty as I watched Miles, the man I claimed to love, and betrayed his trust, even if it was by only a little. Even if most of it was in my thoughts. Why would I do this? If I felt this bad why do I want to continue? Was I so touch starved I would resort to this? With Calisto Bhatti of all people. It was just a small touch on my leg, not that big of a deal. But part of me knew this was a gateway drug to something worse.
"If everyone's done eating!" Jordan's Voice rang out. "Gabe and I have decided that we are all doing karaoke! Because we invested in our own fancy machine and it's Mr. Miles' favourite thing to do: show off his singing skills." We all laughed and I felt Sarai's eyes burn into me. She smiled but I could almost hear the knowingness in her hahas. Her pupils burned with an 'I told you so.' I quickly pulled my leg away from his grasp and stood to stand behind Miles. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, giving him as much attention as possible to compensate for my misdeeds.
"I think that's a great idea," I said. I gave him a quick peck on the cheek, the pure joy in his grin sending frozen remorse through my veins.
"We all have to go once, that includes you art boy," Jordan jabbed. I shook my head.
"Um, no it's okay, I'll sit this one out. I don't sing," I protested. Miles tugged on my hand.
"Oh no, sir, you have to go at least once, if not twice," he insisted. "Maybe we could even do a duet." His green-golden eyes wide with excitement. I shook my head.
"I'll go once, only to show you you do not want to see me go again," I told him. He pulled me in for chaste kiss on the lips.
"I guess, I'll be the judge of that," he said before standing. "Well, are we doin' this or not? Come on!" He raced with Gabe and Jordan back  into the living room. Cal glanced at me mischievously before following them. I let out a sigh and shivered. From anticipation, from fear, from anxiety? Who knew. I felt a manicured hand grasp mine. I tensed.
"You guys are cute," Sarai said, squeezing my hand. "I'm glad things between you too are going smoothly, I was a little worried after our last talk. I guess I was was wrong about worrying about you and Cal. I feel stupid now. I owe you an apology." She sounded genuine. I had really thought she caught the under-the-table leg squeeze thing. I pursed my lips.
"Oh, don't worry about it. I get where you were coming from," I admitted. Miles called out our names and we quickly walked into the now transformed livingroom. The lights were off and the little karaoke machine lit up with bright colours and some default music. I stared at the machine, intimidated. Miles threw an arm around my shoulder with a chuckle.
"We're up first," he said as he shook me. I wagged my head.
"No thank you, why don't you go first or maybe Jordan and Gabe, I mean they look like they already have a song chosen," we looked over at the couple who were already googling lyrics. "Let them go while we figure out a song." He sighed in defeat.
"Okay, your logic has defeated me," he slipped away and flopped onto the couch as he pulled out his phone. Jordan and Gabe connected one of their phone's to play the music, the lyrics appearing on the tv screen. I sat down next to Miles, putting myself in between him a and Cal. The latter offered me a mischievous smile and a wink which made my cheeks go red. I immediately turned my attention to my two friends who began singing. They proceeded to screech their unique version of Don't go breaking my heart. It was very entertaining. Every few seconds Miles would show me a song he found that he wanted to sing with me. I really didn't like singing in front of people, usually when we did a karaoke night I was content on just letting everyone else have fun. Sometimes one of them would drag me up for a duet and I would have to stand there awkwardly.
"Why don't we sing this?" Miles whispered and looked up at me with wide eyes. I laughed quietly.
"A whole new world? Who would I be? Jasmine?" I questioned. Miles shrugged.
"If you want, I have a feeling Aladdin is more in your range though," he smiled. I looked at my hands folded in my lap and sighed.
"I don't know, Miles, I really don't sing. I'm no good at it-"
"And they are?" Cal interjected throwing an arm behind me on the couch. He had scooted closer. I began sputtering.
"Well, I- I mean- I don't know-"
"Listen, Hansel, if you're worried about looking stupid, you should stop. We're all friends here having fun, no one's going to judge you. Besides even if we weren't. The only one who can make you feel stupid is you," Cal's voice was comforting yet stern. "What's that Amy Poehler quote Miles and I used to live by at Uni? It was something like, ah, you can't look stupid if your having fun, or something?"
"He's got some good points," Miles agreed. He put his hand on mine. "No need to take it so seriously, just have fun. Sing a Disney song with me." He pressed his lips on my cheek before falling over dramatically onto my lap. "Be my Prince Charming, Hansel!" I rolled my eyes.
"That's Not even the right movie," I told him, caressing his cheek. "But fine." I turned to Calisto who was looking away with a tight expression on his face. I nudged him with my elbow. He glanced at me. "You both win." He knowingly smiled at me as Miles cheered and wrapped his arms around my waist, not even noticing The slight change in the air between us.