HHHHH

Anggggstt

Crossing bridges was easier said than done. "Wait I'm staying where?" Miles looked between his family. "With who?" Savas, Alexander's wife, grasped my shoulders and pushed me forward.
"With you're fiancée- Hansel," she smiled. I waved shyly. He squinted at me. I felt my cheeks heat up. It had been four days and he only had one more day under hospital care. Two counting today. Which I didn't.
"But I don't know him," Miles crossed his arms. The words were like knives stabbing at my heart. I laughed nervously. Ellie sat on the hospital bed next to Miles. It creaked as she adjusted herself.
"We just think it might help with your memory loss if you stay in the last place of occupancy, the doctors agreed. It is also the closest place to your physical therapist so that was just a no brainier, child," she explained as she rest her had on his cheek. He groaned.
"They also said that my memory would probably just slowly come back on its own in a couple weeks. Trying to push it won't help anything," he grumbled.
"You don't know that!" Savas exclaimed. She had made her way to her husband. She was younger than him. A lot younger than him but she was probably a more responsible parent than he ever could be. Even now he sat on his phone, probably doing something work related. She gently tapped her heeled foot to Alexander's to get him to engage with his bed ridden son. He looked up at her annoyed.
"She's right, Miles," he agreed with a sigh. "It can't possibly hurt. Handel is a nice guy-"
"Hansel," Miles mumbled. I felt my heart flutter in pleased shock. Alexander knit his eyebrows in confusion.
"What did I say?"
"The point is," Ellie cleared her throat for everyone's attention. "We think staying at your place with Hansel would be the best option for right now. And I'll visit you at least once a week, so it's not like you won't be seeing a familiar face." Savas skipped over to the other side of the bed and kneeled down to his level.
"And I'll FaceTime you every night till you're annoyed with me," she planted kiss on his cheek. He pushed her away lightheartedly, giggling.
"Ma! Stop!"  He cried as he tried to wipe off the lipstick stain. I chuckled a little which caught his attention. Our eyes met for a moment. Those beautiful hazel eyes. I was the first to look away, My feet shifting awkwardly as I scratched my neck. I felt so small, so outside of it all, Like I was intruding.
"Would it be so bad if I stayed with you Ellie? I just don't want impose on Hansel's life," Miles was trying to be nice about not wanting to stay with me I knew that. Didn't make me feel any better though.
"Don't worry, there's not much of a life to impose on," I laughed nervously. They all stared at me silently. Except for Alexander. I don't know what he was doing. Picking something out of his teeth? I felt my cheeks heat up from embarrassment at the flat joke. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled. Ellie and Savas turned back to Miles who was chewing on his lip.
"Anyway, more than that, I feel like I'd be more comfortable staying with auntie Ellie. I'm the one with the amnesia and poor motor skills. Doesn't what I want matter?" He asked.
Savas, Ellie, and I all said something along the lines of "Of course it does!" While Alexander gave out a single huff from his corner:
"No."
We all glared at him. He shrugged.
"Oh, what? This whole argument is moot, thank you very much. He's in no position to make decisions for himself and he's just tryin' to get his way by throwing a fit, and you two," he pointed to Savas and Ellie, " are letting him get away with, again. I'm the one paying these outrageous American medical bills and I'm his father. You get the lot you're handed, son. You're going back home with Hansel and that's final. I won't hear another word out of you about it, am I clear?" Miles didn't say anything and refused to meet his father's eyes. I shuffled away from the family mess silently. "I'm talking to you, Miles."
"Xander, that's enough," Savas growled. She stomped over and grabbed her husband by the arm. She gave the three of us a sweet smile. "We'll just be in the lobby if you need us." She then angrily dragged Alexander out of the room. We were silent for awhile. The only thing that made noise was the heart monitor that had picked up by the whole scenario. It was calming down as Alexander left the room. I trudged over to the chair that I had been to nervous to walk by Alexander to sit in and slumped down into it.
"Don't mind you're father too much," Ellie said softly. "He cares, he's just been stressed. We all have been. We love you very much and we just want to do what we think is best for you. You're father has never been good at expressing that. We all want you to see you get better." I nodded in agreement.
"I know," Miles sighed. Ellie stood from the bed and looked down at me with a grin.
"Have you had anytime to talk to Hansel alone?" She asked. I felt my heart start to race. What, now? Miles shook his head.
"I haven't actually talked to him at all, really," he peered over at me. I pursed my lips and sunk a bit deeper into the chair. "He sneaks me snacks, though. Good stuff from outside the hospital. Because the food here is bloody terrible." Ellie chuckled. "And sometimes flowers. Those over there are from him." He pointed to the vase of gardenias on the table. Those were his favourites, he always said that the smell made him feel relaxed and safe. He didn't seem to remember them though. Ellie chuckled.
"Well then maybe I should leave you two alone then?" She turned to me and my eyes widened with panic. Alone? Oh god. I shook my head no. No no no no. She nodded yes to me. She motioned for me to get out of the chair. I begrudgingly did so and watched as she took it and dragged it next to the bed. "Now be patient with him Miles, he's quite shy, this one." She looked back at where I was still standing and nodded at the chair which quickly had my butt in it.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to stop your parents from killing each other in the lobby," she blew Miles an air kiss and put a motherly peck on my forehead before leaving the room leaving me and Miles alone together.
"Oh, okay, bye?" He huffed. We sat in awkward silence. I spared a glance over at him. His face had healed up a bit more. He looked much more alive than the first time I saw him awake. I smiled. I was so happy his recovery was going smoothly. I watched as he played with his fingers to distract himself. Now if only his memories of me would come back. He caught me staring at him and I immediately blushed and looked away.
"So," he drawled. "We are engaged?" I nodded. I lifted my left hand to show him the ring.
"You got this for me," I told him quietly. He cradled my hand gently. The sparks that went up my are reminded me of the first day I met him. When our fingers accidentally touched and fireworks went off. I revelled in his warm touch. Even if it was barely there.
"It's really beautiful," he whispered.
"You have good tastes," I replied just as low. He looked up at me. His eyes round and full of admiration. I felt my lip quiver slightly. Did he feel it, too? Did he feel the emotions? How much we cared? Or did he just feel nothing? And I was lost in a one sided stir? He pulled away from it.
"I see," he mused. "What does my ring look like then?" I panicked slightly. His ring was in a drawer back at home. I fumbled into my pocket and pulled out my cellphone and opened my photos app.
"Uh, haha hold on," I stuttered. "I'll show you." I scrolled to the photo of our hands. I smiled wistfully at it. It showed off our matching rings. The difference between the rings, mine was gold with the yellow citrine and his silver with an aquamarine. Both gems were cut the same and had the similar style ring. He ogled at it.
"Ooh! They match," he pointed out. I nodded.
"We got the inside engraved, too," I told him. I slowly slid off my ring. I stared at it for a moment. I hadn't removed it since that night. My hand shook as I let it fall into his hands. He tenderly inspected it.
"Our names?" He admired the ring with a gapped tooth grin.
"Yeah, and a little heart," I felt my heart swell. He gave me the ring back and I slipped it back on my finger.
"Cute," he said. "It's a little weird."
"Weird?"
"Yeah. Trying to imagine me getting engaged. Getting bloody married?" He scoffed. "It just feels unreal. Like it seems not like something I would do. I get I can't remember us but it still feels..." he trailed off. "Sorry, I know it's probably hard for you to hear that. I can't even imagine how you feel right now." I was taken aback by that.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, your fiancée doesn't even know who you are? One day you're both madly in love and the next day it's taken from you?" He shook his head. He gazed deep into my eyes as he held my hands and squeezed them. "I'm sorry you have to be dealing with all this." I swallowed hard. I wasn't expecting that. I looked down avoiding his eyes.
"Why are you sorry?" I asked.
"I'm just empathising, I guess," he admitted. "I also feel a bit guilty, too." I felt a pit grow in the bottom of my stomach. I rubbed his knuckles with my thumbs.
"Don't, it's not you're fault," I reassured my voice wavering. "It's no ones fault except the other driver's." He nodded and rest his forehead on mine gently. I heard him sniffle. He had tears going down his face. I wiped them away. I felt my own eyes start stinging.
"Why are you crying?" I forced a laugh from my nerves.
"I don't know," he sobbed. "I'm just so, so sorry, my muse." I gasped softly at the sound of his pet name for me escaping his lips. He was the only person who would call me that. I didn't let myself cry and cupped his cheeks in my hands.
"What do you mean? Why are you sorry?" I pressed. He knit his green, brown eyes in confusion. Tears staining red his cheeks. I knew. I knew why he was so apologetic. I didn't want to say it out loud. I wanted him to. He shook his head.
"I don't know," he rasped. "I don't know! I just know that I am." I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to hold him tight and tell him everything was alright. That I forgave him. That I was not leaving his side. I'd never seen him so distressed before. I hated it. I just wanted him to stop crying. I wanted to tell him I loved him more than anything. More than life itself.
I heard someone enter the room from behind me. I turned to see a pretty, blonde nurse with a clipboard. She seemed shocked to see me. She walked up to us.
"I'm sorry for disturbing," she spoke with a slight southern drawl. "But we need to run some tests and then do some physical therapy, doctors say he's been making a fast recovery. Sadly, only family can be in the room." She smiled sweetly. I looked between her and Miles and frowned. He was still wiping his eyes.
"I'm his fiancé," I explained. Her smile faltered. She stared at Miles.
"Well, that's technically not family," She said. I furrowed my brow.
"Excuse me?" I exclaimed. She smiled again.
"I said only family can be present, please," she repeated. I sighed, I didn't wanna cause anymore trouble. Even though I was fully aware of the prejudice in her eyes. I stood from the chair and left the room.
"See you later, Hansel!" I heard Miles call out. I felt a little bad for not return the farewell but I needed to get away from that room. There was too much tension of all kinds going on. And it wasn't good for Miles' health, that was to be sure. And that was the most important thing right now, his health. It wasn't good for mine either. I walked past doctors in white and nurses in blue scrubs. The were almost a blur as I went through door after door.
When I got into the lobby Savas and Alexander were still fighting in quiet tone. But, I could hear their whisper yelling from the corner. Ellie was sitting in a chair listening to music. I sat next to her with a sigh and let my shoulders slouch and my head drop into my hands.
I was realising that my head was pounding I felt so nauseous. I never liked hospitals they always made feel sick all over. It didn't help that I hadn't slept all week. The stress was eating away at me already. Part of me didn't feel ready for the responsibility of taking care of Miles if I was going to be honest with myself . If I was already beginning to break down now, what happens when he comes home Saturday? I massaged my scalp in frustration. I just needed a nap.
My phone started buzzing in my back pocket. I lazily pulled it out and and opened it, my head staying in my hands.
"Hello," I answered half heartedly.
"Wow, don't you sound chipper?"
"What do you want, Sarai?" I sighed. I heard a distant voice speak to her and her laugh in response.
"I want you to meet me at Mama Clarice's," she told me. I groaned and glanced around the room. Alexander And Savas were done fighting but now sat on opposite ends of the room. Ellie seemed to be listening to music peacefully ignoring them.
"Now?" I asked. She replied with a drawn out 'duh'. "I don't have money, though."
"I'll pay! You need a break, hun. I bet you haven't eaten all day." She was right, I hadn't. I thought for a moment before conceding.
"Fine, alright," I chuckled. "I'll head out in a second." She squealed with delight and I hung up. I stood with a stretch before walking over to Ellie. She looked up at me calmly.
"So I, uh," I stuttered and gestured to the exit door. "Sorry, I think I'm uh-" she raised a hand and stood. She placed her hand my left shoulder.
"It's alright, he'll be okay," she smiled. "Go take a break. You'll need that peace of mind on Saturday." I nodded and made my way to the exit.
The drive was not long in reality but it felt it. My mind was so clouded from stress and worry that It felt as though the drive was never ending. My head swirled with thoughts of Miles, and the healing process and more. I knew his family was helping with medical
bills and that made me feel so guilty. Even with Miles' insurance covered some of the bills but it was still going to be an expensive journey. Each thought shrouded me more and more in dark clouds. I did not want to go out to eat. Even if it was free food. I would just end up feeling guilty eating at Mama Clarice's. It was so expensive. Twenty dollar appetiser expensive. I had been sitting in the car debating at myself like I was Cameron Frye for about ten minutes. My growling stomach ended up winning.
Before I even shut the door of my car I was slammed into with a hug of all hugs. It knocked the wind out of me. I hugged Sarai back and felt all my worries slowly lift off my shoulders. They were still there, just less heavy. She pulled away slightly so she could look me in the eye.
She had a brilliant straight, pearly white smile that could warm any frozen heart. Her dark brown hair had caramel highlights and was done in perfect loose curls that fit her face perfectly. Her cheeks and nose were slightly red from the cold on her tanned skin. Her makeup was done perfectly, I knew she had woken up early to do it. I've seen her spend hours on it but it always turned out fantastic. She was wearing a baby blue pullover sweater under her stylish dark blue coat. Her black skirt swayed as she bounced up and down with excitement. Her dark brown eyes glistened and gleamed with joy. She seemed to be bursting at the seams to see me which was a nice surprise. She was usually happy to see me but not this happy.
"Hello, Sarai, I've missed you too," I laughed. We began walking inside the restaurant as we talked.
"I have the biggest surprise for you!" She exclaimed. I groaned in annoyance as we took off our jackets now that we were out of the cold Autumn air.
"Sarai," I sighed, "you know I hate surprises." She smirked up at me then waved at a server for some attention.
"Oh, I think you'll like this one," she said. I raised an eyebrow. The server didn't ask us anything, she just led us to a table. After we sat and received our menus I let my curiosity get the bast of me.
"So what is the surprise?" I pressed. She narrowed her eyes at me over her menu.
"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise, Has-some," she shot back. I rolled my eyes.
"That nickname is so fuckin' stupid, Sarah," I snickered. She just glared and opened her mouth to say something when she was interrupted with a loud gasp.
"Hansel! You made it! Yes!" The voice was loud and distinct and made me smile. Jordan. I turned to see two figures making their way to the table. And Gabriel? I stood to greet them.
"Wow, I haven't seen you guys for forever!" I laughed. "How have you guys been?" Jordan put a hand on her hips and pouted.
"You mean since you went radio silent for a whole two months? Uh, terrible! We missed you," she said, wagging her finger. Gabriel scratched the back of his neck nervously.
"She's not wrong," he agreed. "You wouldn't even answer our texts or the group chat with more than one word responses." I looked down at my shoes guiltily.
"Yeah, I know," I lamented. Jordan picked up a menu and whacked me gently on the arm.
"You don't do that!" She growled. After a beat she hugged me tightly. "We've been so worried about you." Her small voice broke my heart.
"I'm so sorry, guys," I pat Jordan on the back. "I should have been giving you guys more information about the situation. It's just been... hard." Gabriel put a gentle hand on my shoulder.
"Don't worry man, we get it," he said softly. "We're here now, lets enjoy that." I nodded and made room for them at the booth. I looked over at a smiling Sarai.
"Was this the oh so secret surprise, then?" I asked. She shrugged.
"Part of it-"
"Excuse me? Do you know who you are talking to? Bitch, please." My jaw hung open. That voice. I gaped over at Sarai who was holding in laughter.
"No," I mouthed. She nodded and mouthed a yes back. Jordan scoffed.
"Oh god, Sarai, please tell me you didn't invite," She leered over at the commotion. "Him?" Sarai shrugged and took a chomp out of the complementary bread. I felt the water works begin. Gabriel pulled out a pack of travel tissues saying something along the line of knowing it would come in handy.
"I'm sorry, but I thought we all collectively hated him?" Jordan hissed. I stood up and scooted my way out of my seat and ran over to Tall, dark and handsome man in expensive brand name clothes carrying an even more ridiculously expensive bag with a small dog in it.
"I'm sorry sir, but we don't allow pets other than service animals in our restaurant," the host tried to explain. I slid in between them to the employees shock. The man smiled and lowered his obnoxiously unnecessary sun glasses.
"Hey, sexy," He hummed melodically. For the first time that day, I initiated the hug. And shameless broke down in this rich gay mans arms. He  hushed and cooed at me before speaking to the host again.
"My name is Calisto Bhatti and I own this restaurant, I can do whatever the fuck I want. And right now this whole place is reserved for only me and my party of five. Asshole."