Finally Mine (boyxboy)

Chapter 15: That wasn't me...

JASONS POV

As soon as the words ''I'm sorry JJ'' came out of my mouth, and I heard the big Victorian front door slam, and rattle the walls of the entire house, something in me snapped.
What. The. HELL. Did I just do. What the hell has been wrong with me? It was like the passed week I have been drugged, drugged by sadness and depressed to a point where I literally wasn't myself anymore. All sense of reality came flooding back to me at a million miles a minute, and I felt panic rise up in my throat rapidly. I just hurt my life long best friend, and broke up with the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. What the fuck was I thinking. 
'Shit Shit Shit' I thought to myself panicking. I picked up my phone, which I hadn't touched in a week, and I ignored the thousands of notifications on it from people, no doubt nearly all about my parents tragedy, and I dialed Jessys phone number. 
" PICK UP" I yelled into the phone, before hearing
" Jason!!! I didn't think i would hear from you, I've been really worried-" she started before I cut her off
" JESSY ok help, I just broke up with JJ, but its like I didn't do it. Its like something else was in control of my body, and I was just watching from the outside, disconnected from reality. And then he stormed out of the house, I haven't seen him that mad since Evelyn. And we all know what happened then.. and this time he looked even worse" I said in a panic. When JJ got his heart truly broken, he went on a rampage and made some very dumb decisions, ones that could endanger his life
" Ok ok, calm down" Jessy said " He has been driving that BMW, now something you never knew is our parents installed tracking systems in all of your cars. If you go into their room, there should be a tracking device in there somewhere that will tell you where he is.
" Thanks Jess" I said simply before hanging up the phone quickly. I ran up the stairs and walked into my parents room... This was the first time I had been here since  the crash. I felt a flood of emotion hit me when I saw all of their things, but then I remembered my task. They wouldn't want me to wallow around in misery for days anyway, they would want me to take control of my life and take the world on by storm. And that's exactly what I was going to do... and I was going to do it with JJ by my side. But I had to get him back first. I frantically looked around the room, before opening up a big dresser that had small brief cases in them, each on with the logo of  a car on it. I found the one with the BMW symbol and opened it up, turning it on and within a few seconds a location was pinging on the screen... our childhood soccer field... He was there. I dropped the GPS and ran out of the door, jumping into my Mercedes and flooring it. The BMW was fast, but the Mercedes was faster. Hopefully I could get there before he left, and inevitably went off and did something even more stupid. It was dark by now, and there were no longer any reporters or news cast waiting by the gate, apparently they all decided it was too late and decided to go home. Thankfully. I drove the Mercedes so hard I'm surprised the wheels didn't fall off, and I pulled up to the old outdoor field where me and JJ used to play soccer together. It had since been redone, and upgraded to an MLS field now, and I noticed the BMW still parked in the parking lot. Yes, I had made it before he left.  I ran into the field,  triggering more of the motion sensitive spot lights on the field, and frantically looked around for JJ, before I saw him, sitting there in the bleachers, hunched over. I ran across the field and ran up the steps, before practically sliding into him and pulling him into a hug. I didn't pay attention to his reaction, but I heard him mutter my name weakly before pulling me into a near bone crushing hug. I hugged him back 
"Im so fucking sorry. Im so so sorry JJ" I said, wondering how I could ever not want to be with him. I still truly don't understand why I even said what I did in the first place.
" I love you so much, I never want to be without you" I continued softly, and now it was his turn to sob into my shoulder. This was the first time I ever of JJ to truly cry, even when Evelyn broke up with him he just went into a fit of rage. No tears.
" I'm so sorry" I continued hugging him as tightly as I could. He eventually stopped crying, but didn't let go of the hug, shuddering a bit in my arms, probably in combination of emotion and the freezing temperature outside.
" I love you too" he said weakly, making my heart hurt. I cant believe I said what I did. 
"Im so sorry JJ. I was just so depressed.. its like I wasn't myself...like I wasn't connected to reality." I said trying to explain myself. Ugh. I fucking HATED myself for what I said. 
I tipped JJs chin up, pulling his face from my shoulder to look at him, his eyes looked bloodshot, seeming to glow with blue intensity, his eyelashes soaked with wetness from his tears. I leaned down and kissed him, something I hadn't done in a week. That was too long. I kissed him, and then I kissed him again, and then again. " Lets go home" I said after a short while, noticing that JJ didn't bring a jacket and he seemed to be getting quite cold. We both hopped in my Mercedes, I would send someone in the morning the pick up the BMW. I grabbed JJs hand and held it the whole way home, not wanting to ever let go. Almost losing him because of my own stupidity was too much and I never wanted it to happen again. We got home, and went to my bedroom and laid down in bed, and I pulled the covers over us, wrapping my arms around JJ tightly, and I rubbed his back through his shirt, and we laid like that in silence, until we both fell asleep. 

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A/N: Yeeesss i know I said there would be less frequent updates in the last chapter but as I was writing I got more ideas that I want to write, and I didnt want to leave them on a bad note lol.