In pieces | 2Jae

7, Nightmare

TRIGGER WARNING! (blood and cutting mentioned)

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Last night in his bed, Jaebum did say that he couldn't get mad at Youngjae for his behavior, but after thinking a bit more, he decided that was exactly what he was going to do. He was mad at Youngjae so why not show it? I mean the younger one was avoiding him after all, it didn't matter to him if Jaebum started ignoring him completely too right?

Jaebum gets up from the bed he was sitting on and walks across the small room to the door. However, before Jaebum can do anything, the door flies open and soon Jaebum is pushed backward as someone enters the room. Jaebum stumbles a few steps until he finds himself slouching on his bed once again, and the leader raises his head ready to yell at the one barging in. His loud words get caught in his lips as he sees Youngjae in front of him. Youngjae closes the door and turns himself towards the older one.

Jaebum freezes.

Youngjae is shirtless.
He's standing in front of Jaebum without a shirt on.
Jaebum gulps loudly.

Youngjae's body is not as toned as Jackson's body is, but he has some muscles. The lines of his abs are visible on his stomach and his arms are not just bone and skin. Youngjae's black sweatpants are hanging dangerously low, revealing the waistband of his Supreme boxers. His body might not be perfect, but in Jaebum's eyes, it's hotter than any other body he has seen. Jaebum stares at the younger's body and he has to force his eyes up so he can look into Youngjae's eyes. They are burning with passion and there is a little smirk playing on Youngjae's lips. The kind of smirk that drives people crazy.

Youngjae takes a few steps forward and Jaebum straightens himself so he's sitting on the bed properly. Jaebum stares into Youngjae's eyes, putting in every last bit of his concentration so his eyes don't lose their way any lower.
"What are you doing?" Jaebum asks heatedly as Youngjae comes closer. He already decided to stop being nice to Youngjae, but his mean act keeps faltering the closer Youngjae comes. He was supposed to ignore the younger one but in this situation, that's easier said than done. Youngjae takes a one last step separating the two of them and there he is, standing right in front of Jaebum.

The leader's heart beats loudly in his chest as Youngjae looks down at him. Jaebum is more than confused, he doesn't understand anything that's happening. Why is Youngjae so close, why hasn't he said anything and most importantly, where did his shirt go?!

Suddenly Youngjae leans closer and pushes Jaebum's chest strongly enough for him to end up laying on the bed. Jaebum's eyes widen in surprise.
"W-wha-!?" Jaebum starts but soon he feels a weight on top of him and his lips touch against something warm. Jaebum is too taken aback to move, he simply just lies there in a confused state.

Youngjae is on top of him, his knees on both sides of Jabum's thighs and his arms are next to Jaebum's head keeping him up as he moves his lips against Jaebum's.

In two seconds Jaebum realizes what's going on and with wide eyes, he pushes Youngjae. Their lips separate and Youngjae stares into Jaebum's eyes with his own emotion filled ones.
"What do you think you're doing?" Jaebum tries to sound angry, but his voice wavers. There is no way he can be angry, after all, this is something he has wanted to do for a long time.
"I want you", Youngjae's voice is low and seductive. Jaebum stares at Youngjae in shock but he is already getting excited. Youngjae kisses Jaebum before he has any time to answer, and this time the older one answers the kiss.
Jaebum takes a hold of Youngjae's waist and flips them over. The kiss between the two guys is passionate and they forget the world around them. Youngjae's hands are making a mess out of Jaebum's hair and the later one is caressing Youngjae's sides.

Suddenly a blood curling scream fills the room and Jaebum pulls himself away from Youngjae. He's still on top of the younger one as he turns around with wide eyes. Mark is standing at the door, tears streaming down from his eyes and behind him is every other member crying just as hard. Jaebum jerks away from Youngjae and stumbles as he tries to stand next to the bed.
"How could you do this to him!" Mark screams and Jaebum's ears are filled with the sound of his own heartbeats.
"I-I can explain", Jaebum says but his voice comes out weak and quiet despite him trying to scream. Jaebum turns his eyes to Youngjae to get help, but as soon as he does, his breath gets caught in his throat.

Youngjae is sitting on the bed, tears streaming down his cheeks and the look on his face is more terrifying than anything Jaebum has ever seen. The agony that Jaebum sees makes him lose his balance and he leans against the wall to keep himself up.
"Why did you do it!? Why did you fall in love with me!!?" Youngjae screams and pulls out a knife. Jaebum can feel his heart skipping a beat and he opens his mouth to scream, but nothing comes out. Violently Youngjae starts slashing his inner arms as he cries.
"This is all your fault! You did this to me, it was you who fell in love with me! Why did you do it, WHY?!" Youngjae's arms are red from the blood and he keeps hurting himself. Jaebum wants to move, he wants to scream and he wants to take the knife away from Youngjae, but he can't. It's like he has lost all control over his body, he can't move a muscle. He can't scream or close his eyes, he's forced to stand there staring at the horrible event in front of him. Jaebum's forced to stay still and watch how Youngjae kills himself because of him.

Jaebum's frantic pants fill the room as he jolts up. His field of vision is blurred with tears and he can't see anything. Jaebum is covered in sweat and he looks around in panic, just to find himself in his own bed, next to sleeping Jackson. Seeing the room around him, Jaebum is reminded of his nightmare and his stomach twitches. In four seconds Jaebum has left the bed and their room, and he kneels over the toilet just in time. Jaebum's body convulses as he throws up every last bit of his meal without leaving anything inside. He keeps seeing the bloodied Youngjae in front of him, accusing him while slicing himself. The image keeps playing inside Jaebum's mind like a movie on replay. Jaebum tries to blink his tears away as he tries to flush the toilet. His body is weak and he can barely lift his hand up to do the task. Jaebum thanks whoever left the mouthwash on top of the sink and he swirls the liquid inside his mouth, then spits it into the toilet. Jaebum doesn't even try to stand up, instead, he lies down. The leader's body is covered in cold sweat and he presses his forehead against the warm floor tiles as he closes his eyes. He is shivering out of cold and exhaustion, but he's too tired to move. Jaebum knows he should get up, take a shower and eat something, but he can't bring himself to do it. Jaebum doesn't know the time, but the dorm is still quiet and dark so it can't be that early. He can repose there on the floor for a while.

After who knows how long, Jaebum forces himself up from the floor and does everything he said he should do. He showers, puts on clean clothes and sits on the sofa as he starts munching an apple. He should probably eat something else to help his underfed body, but to Jaebum even the apple is hard to swallow.

Jaebum's trouble with sleeping started one year ago for a reason we all know. Well, overall most artists have trouble with sleeping, but Jaebum's struggle became a lot worse due to his feelings. After his realization, sleeping has been hard, but despite that Jaebum has never really had nightmares. Obviously, like everyone else, he has had some, but he pretty much stopped seeing them once he grew up. That might be why this nightmare left such a mark on Jaebum. When you're a little kid, you dream of monsters and darkness, but as you grow up, so do your dreams. The scene in Jaebum's dream was so terrifying because it was so realistic. It was something that technically could happen.

Jaebum presses his face into his hands as he breathes out slowly. He's the leader of this group, he has to pull his act together or his behavior will affect everyone else. And that can't happen, Jaebum won't let it happen.