Perceived Insanity

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Before graduating from the education program, Nayona had been required to take another exam, similar to the Principles of Life exam. It was meant to monitor her progress, for the most part, but also to ensure she would not rebel against the values determined by the people and enforced by the government. She had been very careful while taking the test, answering each question so her answer would not directly contradict what she knew to be the 'correct' answer, while still answering with what she felt to be truth. Her instructor had told them to expect the results for their exams on the sixteenth of March, exactly one year, one month and one day after she had taken the exam to be an accepted member of society.

On the fifteenth of March, Nayona had met her brother. As the she watched the sun languidly fill her room with light, she thought about what William had told her the night before. She could not simply dismiss what he had said. His story was similar to hers, for he too had been told by the government his test results were unsatisfactory. Because his ideas could influence his sister's values, his parents chose to remove him from their household. He would be fostered by another family in the city who would help him to open his mind to the wonderful ideals shared by the rest of the world. However, he had made the choice not to give up what he believed in, even if it meant suffering, and had given up a place in a prestigious university in favor of becoming a waiter at a restaurant. The removal of his certificate would be delayed temporarily by this choice, and he was ready to leave if necessary when his certificate was removed.

William had reminded Nayona why it was important to act in a way that mirrored your beliefs, even if that seemed impossible. Nayona was not quite sure how to do this all the time, but there were times when she knew beyond any doubts. It was important always to try, regardless of the consequences, because she knew she what she believed in was true, and to deny the truth would be worse than death. William had given Nayona a spark of certainty and joy, a spark that gave her hope and courage. She was only a little worried for the results of her exam to arrive. Rather than a letter, Nayona received the results in the form of two visitors. When she had arrived home after finishing her daily public service responsibilities, she found two tall men waiting for her. Both of them wore the government's Principles of Life logo on their shirts. Apart from the logo, there was no way to tell why they might have come. They did not wear uniforms.

Nobody wore uniforms anymore, unless they wanted to. It had been part of a reform intended to give people more choices. It was a reform that also restricted the ability of both companies and individuals to identify with anything- rather than expanding choices, it had eliminated them. It had tried to eliminate different religious beliefs, different languages, and anything that did not offer some sort of option for every living person. Everyone was encouraged to speak a common language, and to participate in the government-monitored Spiritual Health program. It had allowed individuals to design their own clothes as well, by making laws against clothing produced in bulk in factories. Almost everyone had welcomed these changes, and those who did not were considered threats. The exam had been inspired by those who wished to convince the 'threats' to follow everyone else. After those who made the reform had all died, the reform was not included in school curriculum. Rather, students were lead to believe the ideals of their country had simply changed. They were not informed of the laws, only the results of the laws.

Nayona was not entirely against every change the reform had brought about, but she viewed most of the changes as bad. She had no problem with wearing clothes of her own choice, for example, but she detested the spiritual health program.

She invited the guards into her parents' house, offering them a cup of tea. They declined with considerably less consideration, and told her to sit in the living room. They stood. One of the men seemed older than the other one, his face wrinkled and his hair dyed with what was hopefully wisdom and not simply old age. He spoke first.

He reached into one of the pouches in a bag he carried, pulling out a red envelope. He closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose. Then he began to speak, slowly and calmly. In a way that conveyed empathy and created an atmosphere of peace, he told her she had failed. He had been trained well to keep the people with whom he spoke to about such matters feeling calm and safe. The younger man watched the other man, and Nayona correctly guessed the younger man was in training still.

Nayona did not display any emotion when they told her the government wished to speak with her further. She followed them out of the house silently after leaving a note for her parents. The younger of the two seemed surprised that she was willing to go with them, but the older one smiled sadly at her. She was allowed to sit without being restrained in the government car.

As the older man drove Nayona to the government building, she thought about a discussion she had had with a government official when she had first decided to leave. She had been told of the penalties of making the choices she had made. She had never believed the government might carry out its threat until she had seen the men at her door. When the exam had originally been created, it had been decided those who failed would be allowed a 'grace card' of sorts, if they wished to try again. To discourage those who might take advantage of the system and go back and forth without making up their minds, the grace card could only be used once. If a person reentered society and proceeded to fail an exam, a penalty would be determined. This penalty was not disclosed to the public, and often the individual would never be seen again. Nayona understood the implications of this fully, however she had assumed it had simply been meant to scare her. The recent events had caused her to rethink her assumption. Making assumptions is never a good idea, for decisions made based on assumptions often have unforeseen consequences. Nayona pondered what unforeseen consequences her choice could have with peace. She was not afraid. She was now ready to pay the cost.

She looked out the window and felt joy. She was looking upon a beautiful creation, stained only by the actions of the human race. If the stains existed because of hate, jealously, selfishness, anger, lies, and evil, the only way to clean the stains was with love, truth, joy, selflessness, and humility. She knew her sacrifice would be worth very little, for she was flawed and stained herself. But she had confidence and hope that a flawless, loving, selfless sacrifice had been enough. Death did not scare her; she would find herself with the One who had made His creation new. This was the core of everything she believed in, and the core of her hope.

As the vehicle approached its destination, Nayona became strong. She rose out of the car smiling, and thanked the men for their kindness and respect towards her. They seemed taken aback, but the older one returned her smile. They led her inside, and she stood straight and tall. She knew what her choice would be. Down one impeccably white hallway after another, she smiled at everyone she made eye contact with. The men never considered restraining her with handcuffs. Nayona knew she had made a mistake in returning to society, because she had done so only through going against what she believed in, but she was willing to rectify her mistake. Nayona waited calmly as the men knocked on the door of the office belonging to the one who would decide her fate. A fate she would accept.

As they waited for an answer, the younger man asked her if she was not afraid for how her choices would affect her family. She wavered. Her confidence was so easily lost. Nayona sighed, responding with a shrug. She was not sure how she felt about a abandoning her family. She loved every one of them, when she was being honest with herself. She loved William, her mother, her father, and her friends. She wondered if it would be possible for her to abandon them. They loved her, too. Nayona wondered how her joy had left her so quickly, to be replaced with doubt. Now was the worst time to doubt her decision, when she most needed strength and assurance.

The younger man smirked, satisfied with his work. The older man furrowed his brow, glaring at the younger man. But the damage was done. It would take Nayona much thought and time to overcome her doubt. She had no time. This was the time, and she was not ready.

The door swung open, and the men pushed Nayona forward into the room.