Perceived Insanity

Remember

On the last day of her middle school education, Nayona and her parents went to a restaurant to celebrate. The celebration had been her parents' idea, for Nayona would have preferred to cook herself a plain meal at home and have time to herself to think. But she was grateful for her parents' thoughtfulness, and she would never have complained. She thanked her parents many times, and ordered the cheapest item on the menu. As they waited, her parents emphasized how proud they were of her and her decisions, and she tried to love them rather than resenting how selfish they were being. She wondered sometimes if they truly cared about her, or if they simply thought they did. Nayona sighed.

She looked up as the waiter served them their food, then started. Nayona narrowed her eyes. That face was familiar, but not one she could place easily. He seemed to be maybe two or three years older than her, at most. Their eyes met, and he almost dropped the dish he was carrying. When her parents looked up, startled, their eyes widened and they grabbed Nayona's shoulder. They glared at the young man as they pulled Nayona out of her seat and left the store. It was only after they had left that Nayona could remember the waiter's name. William had been her older brother, after all, for the first five years of her life. His face had changed in the ten years it had been since they had last seen each other, and doubtless hers had changed as well. She could not remember why he had left, nor where he had decided to go, but clearly there had been serious conflict between her parents and her brother.

She did not wish to question her parents about the incident at the moment, so when they arrived home she thanked her parents for their kind intentions of bringing her to the restaurant, and shut herself in her room. She dug through the bag she had brought from the garbage dump, searching until she found the pictures of her family she had brought with her. One of the three pictures had been rubbed to the point the figure on it was barely recognizable, but she knew it was a picture of William. She had not looked at the pictures for years, although she had never forgotten about them. To remind herself of the past had been too painful. Sometimes, however, to experience that pain and to be forced to struggle with it can give us wisdom. It was for Nayona as it is for most; the struggle was unwelcome and something that required desperation if was to be chosen.

Nevertheless, seeing the pictures brought back a little of the pain. With a bit of anger, Nayona shoved the pictures deep into her bag. They had no place in her life. Her life was in the current moment, not in the past. Part of her knew our memories of the past exist for a reason, and we are meant to learn from them, but she preferred to be safe from any discomfort.

For the rest of the evening, she could not banish her thoughts to the recesses of her mind where they had previously resided. In an attempt to distract herself, she wrote about a girl who knew the answers to life's questions. When this turned into a story about herself, she turned to reading. After she grew tired even of her most precious hobby, she left the house.

A young man stood watching her from across the street, then hastened to approach her. He watched her kick a pebble and send it flying down the sidewalk. No doubt, thought he, she was trying to rationalize the events at the restaurant, or perhaps she had remembered him well enough to know who he was. If so, her frustration more likely stemmed from an innate desire to avoid the pain he would cause. He walked on, perhaps selfishly, because he missed her. He loved her, and wished he could find a way to help his little sister find truth in life. She looked up, and scowled. He offered to walk with her, and she grudgingly accepted. William was not the only one who missed his sibling.

Later that night, when they parted, they parted as friends and siblings once again. Nayona wanted her old life back, but at the same time, she wanted to have the strength to leave again. It did not make sense that such a happy reunion should be clouded by doubt. It seemed to Nayona that one more source of pressure had been added to her life. The time for a choice was approaching, if not at hand, and the right decision seemed as vague as always. 

Author's Note: I know this chapter was short and not exactly well written. The next chapter will begin the final conflict, so it should be significantly longer. I hope you are enjoying the story!