Perceived Insanity

Unsatisfactory

The room was plain and rather small, containing only a desk and two chairs. Behind the desk sat a tall woman, her long hair worn up in a tight bun. She looked up kindly when Nayona entered, and when she spoke to the two men to request them to fill out Nayona's paperwork, Nayona could hear a calmness in her voice she couldn't quite trust. It was more than just the voice; the woman's whole demeanor seemed disarming rather than trustworthy. When the men had left, Nayona accepted the woman's invitation to sit. The sixteen-year-old sat with good posture, her expression carefully unreadable. For a long time, the other woman observed her coolly.

Although Nayona and the woman seemed to be having a staring contest, her mind wandered. She thought about the younger man's question. She wondered if it was wrong to abandon her beliefs if the other option was allowing her family to suffer for her choices. She did not want to suffer, either. Nayona thought of how calm and confident William had seemed in his decision, and wondered if his confidence ever wavered. It was lonely, wondering if anyone else had struggled through the same problems before.

The woman spoke, slowly and quietly. Her voice was aimed at creating a calm, relaxed atmosphere, and it further lessened Nayona's trust of her. She asked if Nayona knew anything regarding the contents of the red envelope, and Nayona answered in the affirmative. The woman raised an eyebrow when the girl showed no evidence of being distressed. Sighing in annoyance, she introduced herself as Dr. Rhae, and explained to Nayona the nominal reason for the meeting. They were meeting, according to Dr. Rhae, because the government had found some of her choices intriguing. They wished to understand why she had made such strange decisions. Dr. Rhae also informed Nayona the penalty for her decisions would be announced during the meeting. Nayona sat motionless, her face expressionless.

Dr. Rhae began to ask Nayona questions. At first, Nayona answered them effortlessly. She was asked which instructors she had studied with in elementary school, what her parents' occupations were, which subjects she enjoyed most, which subjects she disliked, and who her childhood friends had been. They were not questions that required much thought, nor were they questions meant to discover what lay behind her decisions. Scornfully, Nayona decided they had not served their purpose. A wall of ice remained between the two individuals, and the questions had done about as much harm to it as a carelessly tossed toothpick.

The woman behind the desk decided to stop throwing toothpicks and switch to bricks.

"What makes you so willing to betray your family, your friends, your instructors, and your community?" she asked, her tone accusatory.

Nayona sat motionless for a moment before answering.

"Why are you so willing to give up truth in favor of your own happiness in life?" she answered, turning the question around. "I made a mistake in returning to the community. I wanted a comfortable life, and I allowed myself to let my wish take priority over truth. It was a selfish decision. I have no wish to betray anyone, nor is it easy for me to make such a decision at the cost of those around me. If it were possible, I would continue to live in the community while retaining my beliefs and values, and I would try to act according to my beliefs."

Dr. Rhae glared sternly at the girl. She had never met another citizen so stubborn, so unwilling to conform. She had heard of others, however. The woman was sure she could convince the girl sitting across from her to feel shame for causing her community trouble and her family pain, and to return to her family without giving a thought to her 'values and beliefs.' If not, the child was expendable. Her place in the community would be filled by someone else. There were penalties for failing to conform to the government's standards. The woman would not be one to make an exception for such a rude child.

"What are you trying to accomplish in rebelling?" Dr. Rhae asked, wording her question carefully to ensure Nayona understood the gravity of her choice.

"I am trying to accomplish nothing but integrity and honesty," Nayona responded, her voice strong. Her anger at being accused of doing wrong in wishing to act in accordance with her beliefs fueled her, and the strength of her wish to fix her mistake in reentering the community. Being part of the community, Nayona had decided, was not wrong. Her decision had become wrong when she had been willing to conform to the culture and reject what she believed in.

"You dare to call your decision to take advantage of the grace offered to you honest?" the woman asked, her voice steady, bordering on fury. The child had no right to imply such a thing.

"No. I was wrong in returning, because I knew doing so went against my beliefs. Now I am trying to rectify my decision. I do not wish to cause anyone trouble or pain in doing so, but it would seem I have no choice," Nayona replied. Being told she was in the wrong further convinced her of the importance of continuing to act in accordance with what she knew to be true, even if it meant suffering the ultimate penalty. As the conversation between the two individuals continued, her resolve strengthened.

"I am giving you a choice. You have the free will to choose to return to the community. You have the option to put an end to all the trouble you have caused, and if you so choose I will waive the punishment for causing the government concern," the woman said, in a final attempt to tempt Nayona to return to the community, free of guilt.

"Have I not already chosen?" Nayona inquired, sounding tired. She had made the decision so many months ago when she had chosen to submit her paper, written to represent what she knew to be truth.

"I am giving you another chance," Dr. Rhae frowned.

"It is not one I requested to be given," Nayona copied the older woman's frown. "You are offering one because you think I will be convinced by it to conform, but I will not. You have not shown me a satisfactory reason to do as you wish.

"I acknowledge the consequences of my choices, and I take full responsibility for them. I submit myself to whatever penalty you decide must be given to me as a result of my choices. Let us not discuss second chances any longer," she finished, closing her eyes for a moment. She was ready.

"Then we shall not," Dr. Rhae responded, raising an eyebrow. "You may remain here for the duration of your trial, and I will return to inform you of the verdict when it has been decided." She placed a small silver box on the table and pressed a button on its side.

"Our conversation has been recorded," she stated, emotionless once more. She stood, looked down contemptuously on the girl, and left.

Author's note: Credit to Strawberry_Cream1928 for helping me come up with a good title! Thank you!