Sadness Inside

Chapter 11

A/N: Chapter 11 dedicated to my cousin, Sylvie Tan for being the best cousin in the world. My peer, my sister from different parents, my best friend, my secret sharer. You're one of my base to happiness. You know how I cry at night, you share my laughters. You share your stories with me and that makes me feel trustworthy. I can tell you anything and you'd still be my cousin because I'm sure you would never leave (even if you want to :P) Even when I'm sad,  you bring up the happy moments and make me laugh. Even when I'm in the midst of crying, or moody, we can still goof around and make jokes about it. Thank you, for being there for me when I needed someone who understands. Thank you for your reckless laughters and undeniable humour. I love you, bitch.

xxx

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I slept throughout the flight and I was too tired for any food during the flight. Fred woke me up and I realised we landed already. I rubbed my poor dry eyes and leaned on Fred's shoulders unconsciously. He stiffened and I remembered we were on awkward terms. I sighed and sat back straight. We waited until the line was clearer, made sure my guitar was always with me, and walked out of the plane to step on the land of California.

On my last step of the staircase, I felt my heart racing with anxiousness everywhere through my veins and had goose bumps. I was actually in Los Angeles. We were actually at LAX. I always dreamed of coming here especially when I loved performing. And the best part was, I was finally away from all those pasts. At least, for awhile.

I couldn't stand the awkwardness between Fred and I and I couldn't do this without him. I was about to start a conversation when we separated due to the immigration. I rolled my eyes and sighed in frustration as I passed. I waited for Fred to pass and tried to look excited. Fred was still smiling and I knew that might not be real. I had known him for far too long to not know that.

"Hey," why wasn't I any good with conversations? I needed Fred's help in this.

"Hello, flower," and wrapped his arm around mine like usual. I breathed in with relief as I felt him. I knew he didn't want this to go on either.

"Baggage time?" I asked, childishly.

He chuckled, and my heart relaxed, "Of course, Myra. Where else would you think we would go?" and pulled out his tongue.

It was back to normal and I put on a smile on my face. I couldn't go back to that. To the not talking Fred. It was too rare to experience that again. It was so new to me that I couldn't face it. The more I reminded myself to back away, the more I want him. I really want him, probably even desperate, but I couldn't. He seemed too good for me. How could I have him? He had a line of admirers just waiting for him to accept them as his beloved girlfriend. My body tensed and I knew this was the wrong time to feel this. Was it even a feeling? The way it hurts is more painful that stabbing knife through me.

The fact that I couldn't have Fred hurts me.

I really should stop this feeling.

You're on holiday, Myra. You're suppose to enjoy yourself.

We waited for our luggage and once we did, Fred went to buy our transit tickets. I didn't exactly know where we were going but I just followed him because he seemed to know where to go. He gave me my ticket and no place was written anywhere.

"It's just a ticket to let you in the bars," Fred tried to explain. I didn't understand at first but then I did after we had to go through in between bars and a place to slide our tickets. We walked to the pink line and I giggled softly.

"What's so funny?" and Fred's hilarious confused face made me laugh even louder. One of his eyebrows were a little higher than the other and I snorted.