Shut Off // Andy Biersack x Reader

part 1

To catch you up on the events of this ship wreck, let's begin where everything started to go to complete and utter hell.
Your fourteen, just starting at your new school. You all had just moved to h/t  (hometown) and didn't really know a whole lot of people.
you where just happy that you had your wonderful parents, you amazing older brother, Sam, (you can change it i dont care) and your twin sister, Jane. You and Jane where partners in crime, closer then a unicorn to its horn (heheh I know it's weird but I'm being original 😂) You had always been quite jealous of jane. Even though you two where twins, you always felt that she got the looks, the smarts and the talent.
you where always quite the social person. F very friendly, very happy, smiled at everything, found the brightside to anything. You felt like you where a good singer, but that was about all you had going for you. You enjoyed writing, singing, dancing, reading and you dabbled in drawing, but you never felt you where truly great at these things (except at reading, you where a fonominal reader). Though you still did them. You didn't care. You where also quite the music inthuesest (okay my mind is blank at the moment. I literally have tried spelling that word for like five minutes and I'm giving up on it. You know what it's supposed to be.)
Though you didn't look like the type persay, but you where a huge fan of most of the 'emo' bands. However out of all of them, you'd have to say black veil brides was your all time favorite.
Everything was perfect until one night when you all had been sitting around the cozy      fire in the living room talking and luagh8ng about things you can't even remember any more.
You don't know how, but somehow eveypryone had forgotten to put out the fire before you guys went to bed.
You had woken up by choking on smoke.
you admeditally ran out of bed and got to your brother and sisters rooms (they where the closest.) To find them not there.
You had attempted to make it outside, assuming that that is where they where but before you could reach the stairs to get down, you found the way was blocked by raging fire.
the last thing you had heard before passing out from smoke and heat, was the sound of some sort of siren.
God do you wish that you hadn't of woken up.
When you did, however, you found blinding lights right in your eyes, rushed voices, and pain. A searing pain in your stomach. It was so bad it made you pass out again.
When you woke up again, however, it wasn't so bad. Though the news that followed that day was worse then the pain the was residing in your stomach.
you had found out your house burnt down, your family had died, and you had been severely burnt in your stomach.
All this news was so sickening to you you ended up puking for a good ten minutes.
However becueaee you didn't really have food, it was all just acid which hurt like a bitch.
you had refused to speak for a good week. You where alone with nothing but your thoughts and memories. You should've remmebered. How couldn't you have remembered something so simple? All you had to do was put out the fire. That was it. But no. Instead you had forgotten and lost your whole family over it.
You didn't smile, you didn't eat, you didn't drink, you only slept when they drugged you, you didn't speak, you barley even moved your head or heard anyone when they spoke.
You had started randomly crying off and on for a good three weeks until they let you out where you where then brought to live with your terrible and abusive aunt and uncle in St. Louis.
They where really your only family alive so you didn't have any other options.
They didn't bother to take car of you. They didn't speak to you really unless it was for you to clean something up or do something for them, you never spoke back. You had really just stopped talking completely by the third week. You where done with the beatings for fighting back, you where done with the slaps and the hits across the face when you would do something they didn't like, you where done speaking cuase it would never get you anywhere.
They didn't get though the help that you truly needed, they didn't care when you wouldn't eat or drink, or when you would self harm. As long as you didn't make a lot of noise, they didn't care. They had taken your music away, you had no way to contact your friends, you couldn't listen to music, you didn't have any books you liked. Pretty much all you did all day was school, and help clean and get them what they needed.
I'm not even going to get you started on the shit that you dealt with in school.
By the time that you where nineteen you had finally saved up enough money secretly to move out of their place.
You would've been gone mp by eighteen but sadly you didn't have enough money.
All you ever did with yourself in your house really was cry, hurt yourself, attempt to find your now lost voice, try and find your music again (they had literally like destroyed your phone...it was like totally uncalled for too..)
You where slowly killing yourself. Your where getting drove mad.
Finally one day when you had been screaming yourself sick for the last hour, you had heard a knock on your door.
However you didn't answer it becuease you where kinda sitting in the middle of your floor looking rather like a crazy looking person with blood completely surrounding you where you sat as you clawed at your newly opened cuts, the razor blade only inches away from you.
However when you where just about passed out from lack of blood, you heard you door open and about two pairs of footsteps come in. You heard both stop in their tracks and gasp.
you heard one called for an ambulance but that was all before you where back at the hospital.
When you where feeling a bit better they had had someone come in to talk with you.
"How long have you been self harming for?"  The man in a black shirt and dark blue jeans had asked you as you stared reproach fully and rather annoyed at him.
"Long enough to already know this procedure. " You replied bitterly.
"Can you tell me what makes you do this to yourself?" He asked, ignoring your bitterness towards him.
"Can I tell you to fuck off instead?" You replied in the same nasty tone.
This is how it went everytime.
You where past a thearapidt. That window had disapeared. Your only hope now was jesues himself...
Present.
You stayed in your house most your life. Though usually you would be in the hospital for a week every one or two months becuease of this.
By the time you where twenty one you had found that alchol helped get rid of the aching feeling you always had aswell and became drunk most of your life.
You had been able to find your music again which was about the only thing keeping you from shooting yourself in the head.
you didn't even have a job. You where completely rich from your parents insurance.
One day, when you where ,making your monthly trip to get more alchol and food and such, you had been walking on the street, tears running down your face like usual, your hair completely Madden up, your jeans worn and ripped and your shirt way to big on you, and you could smell the alchol on you from a mile away.
You where currently wondering back to your house with a couple grocerie bags in either hand as you where mumbling things to yourself and you watched your feet stumble as you walked.
"Please you don't und-" you muttered quietly to yourself, more tears falling down your face. However your sentence was cut off when you ran into something rock solid and stumbling back nearly falling on your ass.
However, you had accidentally bitten super hard on your lip when you had gotten  hit that you had accidentally made your lip bleed.
"Oh my god I'm so sorry I shouldn't have been texting and on paying attention are you okay?" Asked a male voice.
You looked up and your eyes met the most beautiful site in the world, you instantly recognized I'm to be Andy biersack from none other then black veil brides.
"I'm fine" you lie, wiping away your tears quickly on your to your sleeve, along with  the blood on your lip.
"Oh my god are you sure? Your lip is bleeding! Does it hurt? Do your need ic-"however his rant of concern was cut short by you.
"Look biersack I said I'm fine. Fine means fucking fine" You snapped quickly wiping more blood away from your face and onto my arm.
"Um..." He didn't really know how to respond to this. He didn't know if you where snappy just becuease or becuease you didn't like him. You obviously knew his name and what he looked like though.
"Uh..I'm sorry.." He said, shuffling his feel slightly.
"Well the damage is done. I love your band by the way." You say with a slight snap as you cleaned up the now half drying blood
"Oh.. thanks. Are you sure you don't need any ice... okay okay!" He says uncomfertably as you glared at him slightly.
"Alright weellll. Nice meetin you." You say with an acidintal slur.
You attempt to walk past him however you stumbled right into him again.
"Man you are really just getting in the way today!" You tell him....however you where the one that never moved to walk past him...
"Um...do you know where your going?" He asked worriedly, seeing that you where obviously face in the dirt drunk.
"Biersack this is normal. Now, stop moving in front of me." You tell him casually.
"Erm...you just walked forward...you never really moved.." He says awkwardly.
"Oh..whoops." You say, accidentally bitting your lip and opening it once again.
Then time it ran worse for some reason.
"Your lip is really bleeding can I please help?" He asks like a puppy who's found his person crying.
"Your not gonna leave me alone about this are you?" You question, wiping away a bit of the blood again.
"No." He says firmly and you sigh in defeat.
"Finnneeeee" You say begrudgingly.
"Ferreal though it's just blood, nothin I ain't used to" You slur slightly as you grip his jacket for support as he leads you down the street.
He had an arm wrapped around your back to help support you with your bags in the other hands.
"Can I get a name to work with?" He asks.
"It's..." you had been completely drunk for almost two months now and hadn't talked to anyone....you had almost completely forgotten your own name...
"Oh right it's um it's y/n!" You say with a nervous luagh.
"Okay. Y/n do you mind telling me where you live so I can take you home?" He asks gently.
"Your gonna rob me aren't you." You say more as a statement then a question.
"What? No! No I just wanna make sure you get home alright and get cleaned up." He tells you.
"Okaayyyy but just remember I know who you are so if you try anything, I've got dirt on ya" You say, letting go of him and nearly falling with a slight luaghy sob.
He helped you back up carefully and you told him the directions to your house.
After many glances from strangers, getting lost a couple times and making both of you nearly fall to your doom moutliple times, you guys made it to your doorstep.
you opened the door and, let's just clarify one thing, it wasn't a pretty sight.
There where bloodstains almost everywhere on the carpet from where you hadn't bothered to clean, there where empty bottles of different alcohol scattered, and a single blade stood on the coffee table.
"Um..I dont get a whole Lotta company except for the occasional...okay monthly svisti from like two people.. hold on just let me clean." You say uncomfertably. You had decided not to mention the two people who usually showed up at your door was police officers or paramedics...
You stumbled around quickly grabbing the things that lay on the floor and throwing a blanket as a rug over the bloodiest spot of the floor, hoping he didn't see it.
you also put the blade under the coffee table in one of the drawer things it had.
Ft er a good ten minutes of quickly cleaning up and snapping at him everytime he offered help, you had finished for the most part.
"Can we get you cleaned up now?" He asks, his eyes moving to your bloodied lip.
you roll your eyes but nod.
He followed you to the bathroom and he dampened a couple paper towels and carefully and lightly cleaned your lip.
"So you live here alone?"He questioned.
"Yes" You say shortly, not wanting to really talk about your hell of a life.
"Can I ask you something?" He asked.
"Depends. What is it?" You ask as he throws out another piece of the paper towel.
"Why was there a razor blade out on the coffee table and dark red spots on the floor?" He asks, looking up at your eyes for a second before moving his attention back to your lip.
"You may not ask that one." You say, swatting his hand away out of reflex when he touched it and made It sting.
"Y/n please? You look like a reck." He says gently but concerned.
"No means no beirsack." You say shortly and he sighs and nods.
"Can I ask you a quietsion now?" You ask.
"Shoot." He says, putting a butterfly bandage on the cut.
"Why are you doing this?" You question.
"Doing wjat?" He says, moving his eyes from your lip once more and looking at you in the eyes.
"Helping me. Why do you care?" You clarify.
"Becuease you look like someone who needs someone, someone to look after them, someone to be there for them." He says, throwing the backs of the bandaid into the trash.
"I do not  need someone to 'look after me'! " You retort indignantly.
He raises an eyebrow at your statement.
"I don't need someone. I can take care of myself." You say shortly.
You didn't think it was possivle, but he managed to raise his eyebrow even higher at this statement.
"What?!" You snap uncomfertably
"Nothing..it's just it took so you like two minutes to remember your name in the first place, your said that you never get company expect for two people monthly, and you just seem lonely..." He tells you and you averted his gaze and hop off the counter.
"Well, I'm not, I'm jus' fine how I'm doin' so you don't have to worry 'bout me." You finally say.
Andy doesn't reply.
"Are you hungry?" You ask after a moment.
"Um yeah kinda I guess." He replies.
"There is food in the fridge. Take what you want." You tell him as you both exit the bathroom.
you walk to the kitchen with him trailing behind you like a lost puppy
You open the fridge for him before walking over to the bags you had set down on the kitchen table.
you brought out the newer bottle of Jack Daniels and opened it, taking a long sip from it.
You drank as Andy ate a little bit, both of you making up confersation here and there.
you wouldn't talk about your life however. Everytime he asked where you moved from, how long you had lived here, hobbies, really just simple things about yourself, you would usually end up snapping at him.
You qhere quite the touchy person now.
After quickly finding out what not to bring up around you, confersationconfersation to flow a lot better.
You truly did like Andy, you always had. Before your parents had died you had watched so many interviews with him and the others. You found him absolutely adorable. Everything he did made you smile.
He had gotten a couple answers out of you, like your middle name, favorite color, favorite animal, favorite drink, favorite movie.
You had asked him questions about the band, touring, what he was doing here (turns out he lived only like ten minutes away from you.)
By about three hours of talking with him, (which he had been causally giving you water instead of alchol which made you almost completely sober,) you guys got up and you walked him to the door.
" So will I be able to see you again?" He asked as he opened the door to the outside.
" Perhaps, you do only live ten minutes away." You tell him.
he smiles at you slightly and you stand on your tip toes to hug him, kissing his cheek before letting go.
"Bye Andy." You say.
"Later y/n" He replies and you close the door.
you went to go straighten up slightly becuease he agreed to let you meet the others and you wanted presentable rather then looking like a drug addiction.
You took a shower, brushed your hair, changed you cloths, covered your slightly infected arm with your usual jacket, and headed out after taking a long chug from your now half empty bottle of Jack.
you where going to watch how girls where supposed to look for a bit before attempting to pretty yourself up. You didn't jnow why you wanted to straighten yourself up so bad for this but you did nonetheless...
you where meeting everyone that night for dinner and since it was only one, you had time.