Unravelled

Chapter Five

A/N: Sorry this isn't written very well; I promise I can actually write lol. I'm feeling not so good again, so I've had major writer's block/I've been intoxicated pretty consistently recently. Hopefully I'll be back to my normal self soon! Bare with me. Bipolar can be hard to handle sometimes. Hope you're having a lovely week!! 🌈

Weeks have passed, and I've managed to push Camila to the back of my head. I'm back in LA, fresh off of our PCA performance (which we fucking killed, if I do say so myself.) It's been so nice to see the girls again. I'm so happy for all of us, because the new deal we've signed gives us so much more creative freedom; I don't feel as trapped as I have for the past 4 years. I finally feel like I've regained (some) control of my future, and I've never felt this fulfilled before.

We're going into the studio today to start recording new material. Because there's only 4 of us now, we've been assigned an apartment to share between us for the next few weeks. We all get our shit together and get in the cab to go to a studio in Calabasas; one we recorded most of the last album in, so it's nice to be back in familiar quarters. The other girls go ahead of me and go in while I'm on the phone to my mum, filling her in on our plan for the day. I'm just hovering in the hallway outside different studio spaces, pacing back and forth, looking down and tracing my steps along the carpet. I'm in my own world, having lighthearted conversation with my mum.

'Lauren Michelle, just because marijuana is legal in California doesn't mean you need to be smoking it 24/7. If you have a repeat of Washington, so help me God, your bedroom at home will be converted to a prison cell.'

My mum's fucking hilarious; she doesn't care that I smoke, she just cares that I don't get caught. I laugh hysterically.

'I won't mom, I promise--'

I'm so lost in conversation, I walk straight into someone and knock their phone down to the ground. I reach down to pick it up; I recognise the phone case...

...Fuck.

'I gotta go, mom,' I hang up hurriedly.

I get up quickly, not noticing how close I am to her. Our bodies brush against each other, and I quickly back up, flustered as fuck. I finally reach her eyes and notice she's gone bright red too.

'Hey Camila.'

'Hi Lauren.'

'You're recording here too?'

'Yeah, with Julian.'

'But he's got a session with us now.'

'We just finished up, I've got a session with Victoria now.'

'Oh.'

What the fuck am I supposed to say?

I'd succeeded in blocking her out all this time, I didn't stop to think that she's still signed to Epic too. We were bound to cross paths. I just didn't think it'd be this soon...and this close.

Upon closer inspection of her eyes, I notice they're red and puffy.

'Have you been crying?'

'No.'

'Liar.' She laughs lightly.

I may be confused and mad, but that doesn't mean I don't care. There'll always be a part of me that cares.

'What happened?'

'Nothing, just the writing we've been doing took me to a dark place, that's all.'

'Was it my fault?' She knows what I mean.

'Not your fault, but...yeah.' So she had been writing a song about me.

'Can I hear it?' What the fuck was I doing right now?

Camila's as surprised as I am at what I just asked, and musters out a 'sure.'

We go into the room she was just in; Julian had left, probably to get started on the 5H session.

She plays me the song reproachfully, and I close my eyes, listening to the lyrics.

Nobody sees
Nobody knows
We are a secret
Can't be exposed
That's how it is
That's how it goes
Far from the others
Close to each other...

The song was just her accompanied by a piano, and I'd never heard her sound this vulnerable on a record before. I open my eyes, completely overcome with emotions, and notice she's crying again.

Without even thinking, I place my hand on hers, resting on her lap. She weeps quietly, out of breath and almost urgently. She runs her fingers over mine and looks down at our hands sadly. I don't even realise how close we're sitting until she looks up and meets my eyes, only centimetres away from hers. Our eyes lock in a sad, wistful glance, and I feel like we've gone back in time to 2014 on the Neon Lights tour, when we were the closest we ever were.

We sit there, eyes locked for what feels like forever, and I swear I could lean in and kiss her right now.

Suddenly the door opens and we both jump back and look towards the door, where Normani's standing, shocked both at Camila's presence and at our closeness.

She can barely formulate a sentence: 'Julian...he-he needs you for a part.'

Given an easy way out, I jump up and leave the room, not allowing myself any time to look into those brown eyes again, knowing that if I get one more look, it'll be game over. She was dangerous territory, and I still didn't know what any of it meant. I try to regain my composure. I walk into the booth, place my headphones on my head and taking a deep breath in before I start to sing my part.

This was not gonna be easy.