Unravelled

Chapter 9

(A/N: I see some of you bringing up Ty, I actually was planning on including him but in a couple chapters, would you guys mind? I know p much everyone hates him lol, but it would help with the overall storyline. But i don't want y'all bitchin n moanin about his presence like you do irl so if u want the topic avoided here let me know. Thanks for reading!! I know it's not great or particularly interesting yet..but just u wait 😈)

I switch back and forth between both texts so much I wouldn't be surprised if i start seeing double. Even though they sent me the exact same text, they meant totally different things coming from either girl.

I've known Lucy since elementary school. To say I love the girl would be an understatement. But lately i've been so distracted - by my job, by my feelings, by everything - that it feels like even though i've known her practically my whole life, i don't really know her anymore. Our shift from friendship to relationship was so effortless and organic; we were just so close all our feelings melded into one after a certain point. But i've come to learn the terrifying difference between loving someone and being in love with them. And i can't wholeheartedly say i'm in love with her. Not anymore, at least.

And then there's Camila.
Fuck, Camila.

It feels like i've been both blindsided by my feelings for her and i've secretly known it all along all at the same time. I know that makes no sense. But nothing about Camila and I does.

In the last two years of her time in the group, she pushed us all so far out of reach I technically stopped knowing her when I was 19 years old. We really are strangers at this point. The Camila i've come to know in the past two weeks isn't the same person I stupidly smiled at when I was 16. But God damn it, she kind of was. I saw that Camila in the curve of her lips, the look in her eyes, the crinkle in her nose. My Camila is still there, but she's not all there. And only coming to terms with years-old feelings now makes them much harder to distinguish. I know I feel something, but after all this time can i know for sure that it's love?

I stare down at the screen and release a breath it feels like i've been holding for years.

Lucy:
Is the song about me?
Lauren:
I didn't write it.
Lucy:
Does it remind you of us?
Lauren:
In some ways, yeah. I love you to death but lately you feel so out of reach.
Lucy:
It feels like we're in two different galaxies lately, you're right. But what do we do? I don't want to lose you.
Lauren:
We give each other space to breathe. I've known you so long you're practically a part of me. But i need space to find myself outside of you, and you don't deserve to be sitting in your dorm on the other side of the country wondering where we stand all the time. I don't want you to hurt anymore. I know you won't admit you've been hurting but i see it in the way you look at me.
Lucy:
This hurts like shit, but you're so fucking right. I don't wanna cry anymore.
Lauren:
I am so sorry, babe. But i'd rather it hurt a little now than lose you altogether
Lucy:
I know, baby. You can still text or call me any hour of any day if you need to. I told you before, you were my best friend first. And you'll always be my best friend. Forever. I'll speak to you when i speak to you
Lauren:
This is why i've always loved you. Speak soon
Lucy:
Love you too, always

**************************
Camila:
Is the song about me?
Lauren:
Do you want it to be?
Camila:
I'd hate to be a stranger to you, ever, so no.
Lauren:
But i don't even know you anymore. You've been so closed off and distant these past few years. And what, now that we have feelings for each other you suddenly know everything about me? You've missed out on so much of me by being there but not being present
Camila:
You said you have feelings for me.
Lauren:
Camz, i pour my heart out to you and that's all you take from it?
Camila:
Do you have feelings for me?
Lauren:
I have a lot of feelings for a lot of things.
Camila:
Do you have i wanna make out with u and fuck ur brains out feelings for me?
Lauren:
Can we ever have a serious conversation about this without you deflecting everything i say all the time?
Camila:
Are you still in LA?
Lauren:
Yeah
Camila:
*khalid voice* send me ur location
Lauren:
Camila I swear to God
Camila:
No seriously send me your location i'm driving to wherever you are so we can sit down somewhere and talk about this, then you'll finally understand
Lauren:
Shared her location with you.
Camila:
On my way, see you in 15