Survival Week

When They Least Expect it

ELAINA: That mint plant is adorable! Let's put it right here by tent.

JENNA: You don't by any chance have a shovel with you?

ELAINA: No, sorry. We'll just have to use our hands to dig.

JENNA: After Survival Week is over, I'm making a mandatory appointment at the spa for all three of us. We need manicures, pedicures, facials, the works.

NAOMI: Normally I would complain, but a facial sounds really good right now.

ELAINA: Agreed.

JENNA: There. The mint plant is set up. Now we can make a salad with the mint leaves and the blackberries we found.

ELAINA: Awesome! I'll go get the dishes.

NAOMI: (to Jenna) She has dishes too?

JENNA: Of course.

NAOMI: Yeah. I really shouldn't be surprised.

ELAINA: Hey guys, I found a sticky note on our tent.

NAOMI: What's it say?

ELAINA: (reading it out loud) "Naomi, Jenna, and Elaina: please report to Trinity Field immediately after you receive this note. Signed, Principal Harris." (turns to Naomi and Jenna) Principal Harris? What do you think she wants? You don't suppose she found out about Operation Tuna, do you?

NAOMI: (panicking) I knew Operation Tuna was a bad idea! Why did I go along with it? We're going to be in so much trouble! (begins pacing around the campsite) We'll get thrown out of camp! We'll get thrown out of school! We'll be expelled and never go to college or get a job and we'll be living in the streets of some shady alley with big scary people lurking around behind shadows and...

ELAINA: (slaps Naomi) Naomi! Calm down!

NAOMI: Did you just slap me?

ELAINA: Yes. Yes I did.

NAOMI: Well that wasn't very nice.

JENNA: Naomi, we're not even sure if Principal Harris knows about Operation Tuna. It could be completely unrelated.

NAOMI: I guess.

ELAINA: We'll never know unless we go check it out. Let's go.

JENNA: Wait a second. What about protecting our campsite? You said that someone should always be here in case Lindsay tries to get revenge.

ELAINA: We'll only be gone a few minutes. We'll just sneak out the back way. We'll be gone and back before Lindsay Valentine even knows we left.

NAOMI: Unless we get expelled and are forced to live in that shady alley I mentioned.

ELAINA: We aren't going to be expelled! Lindsay has no proof that Operation Tuna ever happened!

NAOMI: You mean no proof other than the ten pounds of tuna that was all over her and her tent this morning?

ELAINA: Again, unrelated!

NAOMI: Not really.

JENNA: Guys, let's just go. Look, Lindsay's squad isn't even here. They're probably still out in the woods foraging for food.

NAOMI: Maybe they'll accidently eat mistletoe.

JENNA: Is that the one that caused convulsions and blurred vision?

NAOMI: Yep.

A few minutes later at Trinity Field...

JENNA: Principal Harris isn't here yet.

NAOMI: Look over there. It's another purple sticky note.

ELAINA: What does it say?

NAOMI: "Operation Steal Campsite 193 Phase One is complete."

ELAINA: Uh oh. That sticky note on our tent wasn't from Principal Harris. It was from Lindsay!

JENNA: And she is probably stealing our campsite right now!

ELAINA: Fall back, troops! Retreat! Retreat!

NAOMI: This must be when we least expect it!

ELAINA: Stupid threats!

JENNA: Oh no! My shoe fell off!

ELAINA: No time to get it! We need to run!

JENNA: But it's my favorite shoe!

ELAINA: You can get it later. Let's go!

Back at Campsite 193...

LINDSAY: Carly! Sue! They're coming back! I see them!

CARLY: Sue, hand me that hammer.

SUE: This hammer?

CARLY: The only hammer that's sitting there, yes!

SUE: Okey dokey.

LINDSAY: Hammer in that pole! Quick!

CARLY: I'm hammering!

LINDSAY: Ow! That was my toe!

CARLY: Sorry.

LINDSAY: My toenail is all purple!

CARLY: I said I was sorry!

SUE: What's going on?

LINDSAY: Why can't you follow a conversation?

ELAINA: (entering campsite) Hold it right there! What do you think you're doing?

LINDSAY: Reclaiming what is rightfully ours! Quick, girls. Into the tent.

CARLY and SUE scramble inside the tent.

NAOMI: That's not fair! You took our site and our tent.

LINDSAY: You mean the campsite you stole from us? And as for the tent, you ruined ours. So we're taking the good one.

SUE: (pokes head out from inside tent) Good luck in Tuna Swamp!

CARLY'S VOICE: Hey, I found instant coffee!

ELAINA: That's my coffee. Hand it over.

LINDSAY: Too bad. It's ours now. (enters tent, leaving Naomi and Elaina behind)

JENNA: (just arriving now) I'm here! I'm here! Well, we're in luck. Our tent is still here.

ELAINA: Yeah. The only problem is what's inside the tent.

JENNA: What's inside the tent? Moldy pizza or something.

NAOMI: Even worse. Lindsay Valentine.

JENNA: Ew.

NAOMI: I guess this means we lost the war. Lindsay won.

ELAINA: Not yet. The war is just beginning! And we are going to win in the end!

NAOMI: There's still one thing I don't understand. Why were they putting up a tent that was already here to begin with?

SUE'S VOICE: We accidently took it down but then realized we needed it. So we put it back up.

LINDSAY'S VOICE: Shut up, Sue! Now they know we were listening.

ELAINA: I never said our enemies were very smart.

SUE'S VOICE: I heard that!