Bizzle, Rick And I (Justin Bieber)

Moving On

I immediately locked myself in my room. I can't tell everything to my parents yet. The pain is so fresh and I need some healing. I know I needed much time but I'm too weak for this. I haven't recovered from the previous heartbreak and now here's the other one. I feel like dying. I'm slowly dying..

I deactivated my accounts, turned off my phone. I just want to disappear.

*knocks*

"Honey, can we talk?"

"No mom, I just wanted to be alone."

"He is here.."

"I don't want to see him."

I decided to stop going to school. I know it sounds crazy but it was my first time to fall inlove and it was my first time to feel a heartbreak. It makes me weak. I lose so much weight. I just stayed in my room. Everyday, Rick visits me but he never got a chance to see me. I'm not ready to see him. Seeing him will only make my suffering worse. I cry every night. I just couldn't stop. I'm just vulnerable.

After a week, he stopped visiting me.. As I expected, he will disappear again. I love him so much but it hurts me. I just wanted him to let go even if I still want him. I just want this pain to stop.

"Honey, can we just talk please? I don't want to see you in this situation. Please honey, if you're hurt, it hurts me too." I heard my mom sobbing. "Tell me everything and I will listen. Do not carry this on you're own." I can feel her concern, my mother is crying for me because I'm crying for a guy. I think it's time for me to listen to her. I didn't know the people I affect because of Rick's affect to me. Rick affect me but I affect so many people. It was so selfish of me.

I opened the door for my mother and I hugged her. We cried together.

"I'm sorry mom, I let a guy put me down. I'm so sorry.."

"No, no, it's okay. I understand. Your dad and I understand. I know it's so hard for you to move on but baby you need to, okay? We're here to help you." She hold my cheeks and kissed me in the forehead. "I want my daughter back, my daughter who always smile when I see her."

I took a deep breathe and the pain somehow disappeared when I exhaled.

"I'll promise to help myself move on." I told her and she gave me a tight hug.

I saw how happy my mother was when I said those and that's my motivation to pick myself up and be better.

---

I started to eat on time and talked with her more often. I deleted all the sad songs on my playlist. I keep myself busy and I sleep with her so I won't cry myself to sleep. Every night before going to sleep, we talked about good things, my funny moments when I'm still young and it helped me a lot.

(Next Morning)

"Mom, I will just go outside to buy some books and also hang, I-I just miss going outside."

"Oh thank God." She cried. "Of course you can, go ahead dear. Be safe." She kissed me. "Make sure you're here before dinner, okay?"

"Yes, mom. I will. I love you."

"I love you."

---

I walked on my way. It's windy and cold outside. It's 4:30 p.m. I'm wearing an oversized grey hoodie and a black leggings. The wind feels so good, I close my eyes every time I feel it touching my cheeks and brushing my hair. There are few people around, what a perfect timing to go out. The wind is getting stronger, it almost blew me away 😂

I reached the bookstore and find some good books to read. Mmm, I love the smell of books! I took 3 books. I went straight to the cashier to pay for it. It's so windy outside I think it would be better if I stay here for a while and read.

*Mom calling*

"Mom?"

"Apple, you need to go home now. There is a typhoon coming. I'll send our driver to pick you up, where are you honey?"

"I'm still here at the bookstore mom. I'll wait here."

"Okay, just stay there okay? Be careful. Love you."

"Love you mom."

The sky is getting dark. As I look down, I saw a man vomiting outside and he fell down! Nobody helped him even if there are people around. I don't know why but I feel like I need to help him. I ran outside to help the guy. It started to rain. Oh no. I lift him up even if he's like thrice heavier than me. He is facing the other side that's why I didn't see his face and the rain makes everything unclear. I took him at the side of the building in front the bookstore.

"Sir, are you okay?" I shake his body. He moaned something. He seems drunk.

"Sir? S-" *bruuup*

EWWW OH MY GOD HE VOMITED ON ME WHAT THE- His head was buried on my chest. I pushed him out of disgust.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, are you okay sir? Sir?!" I shake him but he is not responding and his head is bowing down. I held his head to look at his face and I'm shook!

😲

😮

"R-??

BIZZLE?!"

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Hi guys if you would like to be friends with me my snapchat is @ applebelieber too ♥️ I'll add you back.