A Gay Emo Love Story

Newly Uncovered

I am forced to leave the site of my parents death. I am escorted out but I am partialy frozen in shock so I walk slowly. I am thinking about the look I saw on the faces of everyone around me.
   I can't even begin to describe the pain I'm in right now. As I am finally outside they help me into my car. R drives.
     I buckle in and keep my head down. My hair dangles from my head as I look at my hands, cupped in my lap, I don't move except for when we go over bumps. I don't talk for the entire ride home. I occastially feel R looking at me. I feel her pitying look as she drives down the road.
     She places a hand on my back as she slows to a stop at my house. I unbuckle and get out of the car rising my head a little to see where I am going. My hands in my pockets, arms bent slightly. I open the car to see the donuts on the floor still and everything the exact way it was. I wish everything was like this. Everything to be normal. Except it can't be because my parents have been murdered and R is just plainly pittying me as almost always. Nothing has changed except my perspective on life.
    I keep flashing back to the face of my parents. The faces I could see at least. I go into my room and shut the door. I leave R in the living room and I open my vanity drawr. I open a small box my dad got me a year ago as a ding holder. I used it for a weekly razor holder. I have been clean for almost a year and today I stop that streak. I pull a blade from the box. Following the dates. As I feel the pinch of the blade cut my skin I hear a small creak in the door and hear footsteps coming closer. R takes the blade out of my clutch and puts it in the slot in my holder and takes the box and leaves the room. I look at my arm. And think, what was the point of all of this!!! Why did they have to go?! Why wasn't it the shitty neighbor from down the road or anyone else? WHY THEM?!?!? I tear at the cut with my nail. It bleeds more and starts to hurt a lot more. R comes back to my room with bandaids, and vasoline. She rubs the cut with the soothing cream and bandages it. She kisses it pats my arm and leaves.
     I hear her talking to someone outside my door. Then a knock at the door. I hear a low voice. Then R's voice. I then hear a knock at my door and someone walking in. My dresser drawer still open, my arm still resting on my leg while the other hand plays with the bandage. I feel a soft hand touch my shoulder.
"Young sir? Might we ask some questions?"
"Why?"
"Well we need as much Intel on the crime as possible."
I look sideways and see a police man.
"I don't have anything to say."
"That's okay but can we still ask questions?"
"Sure." I say as I look back down at my arm.
"What was your relation to the people killed?"
"They were my parents."
"Okay. What were you doing at the apartment ?"
"I had a bad feeling and went to see them."
"A bad feeling? What kind of a feeling?"
"A sick feeling like something was wrong."
"Okay. I think that is all we need for now. I am sorry about your loss kid."
He stands up and leaves my room. The other cop following behind him and R following them.
    I hear R say something about friendship and then a door open and close. R comes in my room and sits on my bed in front of me.
"Look at me please."
I look up a little.
"More, I want to see your face."
I look up and flick the hair out of my face.
"Better. Thank you. I am staying here for a while to keep an eye on you and see if yohbare okay. Okay?"
"Okay" I whisper
She gives me a reassuring look and walks out calling someone on the phone. I hear the conversation slightly.