A Gay Emo Love Story

Should I?

I fall to the floor. I cup my hands and place them over my eyes. I cry into them and feel the tears start to fill up my hands. I listen for the long and loud beep to go away. It doesn't. I cry harder. People are rushing past me. Some covered in blood some carrying trays of tools. I hear the large amounts of shoes making the pitter patter sound as they rush around. I hear a large buzz. Then a beep. The long beep continues. This goes on for a long amount of time. I finally gather myself enough to get up and walk back to her room. Her bed is made and the food tray is gone. My bed is made and everything folded and stacked nicely. I walk over to my bed and lay down. I place everything on the floor. I then look out the window at the darkish light blue evening sky. The sun is on the other side of the building so I can't see the sun set. But I like the blue sky.... It calms me. I end up falling asleep. I am waken by the loud sound of a heart thingy. Then the sound of water dripping onto plastic then onto water. I look over to see a small blue, green, and red light on a soft and clean face. The face is cut and bruised.
          I realize it is R and jump out of bed. I walk over to her soft and quietly. I cry softly at the sight of her face. I am so happy she is okay. I grab her hand that is partially open. I hold it tight and feel a twitch and then the beeps become faster. I soften the grip I have on her hand. The beeping gets faster and faster and then stops again. I let go and back up tumbling to the ground in tears. 
"What did I do?" I say to myself.
    The nurses come in in a hurry. They turn on the lights, the check R and see what is wrong. One looks down at me with a look on her face saying everything I need to know. I stand up and look at R. She has a tube in her mouth. Breathing for her. She also has a few wires on her chest with a hole showing where they are. The nurse looks at me and I see the look of pity. She puts out her hand signaling to go closer and grab it. I do as signaled and cry into my other hand. The nurse says to me " You know she can't come back again right?"
" But you got her to come back last time! Do it again!!"
" That was a miracle. We didn't think she would come back. And now... Now she is gone for sure."
"But she was my best friend" I cry cutting myself off
" Would you like to pull the plug?"
" NO " I yell "THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING! TAKE MORE OF MY BLOOD! TAKE MY ORGANS! SHE CAN'T DIE BEFORE ME!"
"Look please calm down. If you don't want to do it okay. But it has to be done. So please either pull it or back up a little."
"I wanna pull it." i whisper.
"You wanna pull it?"
"Yes please."
She places my hand on a tube and tells me to pull up. I do as told and everything in the room is quiet and I fall to the floor. I black out and don't wake up...