A Gay Emo Love Story

Should I end it here?

She walks out and shuts the door. I smile and it hits me. R. I forgot she was dead. I start to cry but stop when I hear the door handle jiggle. The doctor walks in with a clip board. A nurse following with a bag and a tray of food. She sets the bag down on a chair and the food on the table. She gives me that damn pitied face that every damn person does!
"Why the look?" i ask abruptly.
"No reason. Just feel bad."
"That is a reason and why feel bad?"
"I shouldn't discuss this. I am sorry for the burden." She says almost grinding her teeth with rage.
"Do you want to say anything else?"
"NO I DO NOT!!"
"Do not raise your voice at patients. Or near them. He was asking simple questions about why you pity him." The doctor says. He has a british accent and seems to tower over the nurse.
"I'm sorry sir. I am truly sorry Doctor. It was the was he said it though. It just got to me I don't know why."
"You still shouldn't raise your voice." He sounds really sexy. His accent truly is charming. 
"I'm sorry. I will go now. Bye doctor. Bye." she lets out a small growl. "Sir patient."
"Bye" I wave with my fingers.
"Back to work. It says you have a minor concussion but not big enough to deprive you of anything. You will be fine and can leave when you please."
"Thanks. I guess I should go."
"I will leave so you can get dressed."
"Thanks."
He walks out and I change and leave. I walk through the halls in a slowish matter because I am thinking about R. I walk out the door and see my car as soon as I look up. Next to it is Adam. Open arms as soon as he sees me. He runs to me and smothers me with kisses and questions. He drives me home and drops me and my car off and he leaves in his. I go inside, run to my room and look for my safe. I find it in the bottom drawer of my dresser. I open it and find my pistol. I grab it, and put it to my head thinking about if I should pull the trigger.