love came calling, twice // olly murs

39.

"Well, now, everyone mourns differently," Shannon said, tilting her head to the side. "Everyone does it in their own way, and you know what? That is something I have always completely understood and respected."

Amelia nodded. "I agree completely."

Tapping a finger on her chin, the blonde woman surveyed the object in front of her. "It's been a difficult time for us all," she said diplomatically, surveying the object in front of her, "and I think it's important that we do everything we can to heal and move on."

"Couldn't have said it better myself," Amelia agreed, holding out a pair of safety goggles to Shannon. "You might want to put these on."

Shannon grinned, accepting the goggles and pulling them over her eyes before placing the headphones over her ears. "Thanks," she said with a smile. She walked over to the front porch and picked up a box of Tom's belongings. "Now how about you and I get this show on the road, Amelia? I have one anxious boyfriend and a brother who can't cook waiting for me back in LA."

Amelia grinned, walking over to the wood-chipper she had rented just for the occasion and flicking it on. "The honor is all yours, Shannon," she said, "but I suggest taking each item out of the box before throwing it in. Not only will it help prevent the machine from jamming, but it's more satisfying."

Grabbing a few T-shirts from inside of her box, Shannon stepped forward before flinging them in the air and watching them float down into the machine, flying back out as little pieces of confetti. She let out an excited squeal and clapped her hands.

"My god," she said, laughing, "this is the best way to mourn ever!"

"Glad you think so," Amelia said, sitting down on the porch and watching as the woman in pink happily flung item after item into the wood-chipper. Amelia remembered how she had done the same thing so many months ago and smiled. It didn't hurt to think about it anymore.

A part of her, despite everything, would always love Tom and she had come to grips with this. It wasn't that she hadn't moved on, it was that she just wasn't able to accept that a part of her would always feel something for him. That didn't mean she was in love with him and it didn't mean that if she could do it all over again, she would be with him. She loved him once and she didn't anymore and it was what it was.

If only she were able to realize this before things were too late.

"Are you sure it was worth it, though?" Shannon said, chucking a baseball into the machine, "I mean, renting this thing? Doesn't it cost quite a bit?"

Amelia shrugged. "I live with four," she winced, pausing to correct herself, "I mean, three men. I'm sure one of them can find some use for it before we need to return it."

Shannon frowned, tossing a stack of letters into the wood-chipper. "He really moved out then, huh?" she asked, "Olly, I mean. He's really going to New York?"

Amelia nodded sadly. "Looks like. That's what he told me, anyway. And he sent a truck here yesterday afternoon while you were out shopping to pack up the rest of his furniture and things. He's good as gone."

After dumping a box full of photographs to be shredded, Shannon turned off the machine and came to sit next to Amelia on the porch. "And how are you doing?" she asked carefully. "You okay?"

"Not really," Amelia admitted, shaking her head. "How can I be? I let my past screw everything up and ruin one of the best things that ever happened to me. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it, no matter how ugly it is."

Shannon laughed quietly. "Amelia, I keep saying this, but it's not over till it's over."

Amelia shook her head once more. "Trust me, Shannon, it's over. He's heading to New York to find something and someone to live for, and I'm moving out. It's time for me to really move on, I guess."

"You're really moving out?" Shannon asked, biting her lip, "but what are these guys going to do without you?"

Amelia shrugged. "I don't know. Order take-out more often, I suppose."

Shannon smiled sympathetically. "It'll be okay, Amelia," she said gently. "I know it feels like it's not going to be, but it will."

"I just miss him," Amelia admitted, reaching behind her and grabbing Olly's trilby. "Everything I do, everywhere I go; I see him. I feel him. I can hear him and it's too hard. It's like living with a ghost and he's not even dead."

Shuddering, Shannon nodded. "So that's why you want to move out."

Nodding, Amelia shoved the hat backwards. "Yeah, in a nutshell. It's funny because I came here with every intention of avoiding Olly entirely because I couldn't stand him, and now I'm leaving for the same reason, but with completely different circumstances."

"I wish I could stay and help you figure things out," Shannon said with a sigh as she began to stand up, "but I miss Zack and I've already been here three days. It's time to go home."

Amelia smiled, standing up as well. "I understand. I've gotta go home, too," she said, "wherever that is."

The two woman walked over to Shannon's magenta convertible and stood awkwardly beside it. "So," Shannon began, "I guess this is goodbye."

"Yep," Amelia said, "I'd say thanks for everything, but I don't know if it applies."

Shannon threw her head back and laughed. "Oh, Amelia, I like you." She looked at the brunette curiously. "I'm guessing a hug would be too weird and unexpected given the circumstances, huh?"

Amelia giggled. "Yeah, given the circumstances, I'd say it would be." She paused, grinning. "However, I think one thing I can thank you for is telling me to stop letting Tom dictate my life, and by not hugging, isn't that doing exactly that?"

Shannon smiled. "I'm going to have to agree with that," she moved forward hesitantly, before laughing. "Oh, what the hell." She wrapped her arms around Amelia and hugged her briefly before letting go. "There," she said happily, "that was nice."

"Take care, Shannon," Amelia said, grinning as the blonde slid into the driver's seat of her convertible. She smiled back at her.

You, too, Amelia," she said fondly, before waving and pulling out of the driveway. With a honk of the horn and the loud blasting of pop music, she stepped out of their lives as quickly as she had entered it. Regardless of the amount of time she had spent there, however, she had made an impact that Amelia knew, would stay there for life.

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