Wherever You Are

Chapter 12: Felicia's Unsent Letter

December 18, 2015

Dear Jonah,

School is going really well. I'm getting really good grades and I finally feel like I belong somewhere. With Spencer and Isabella by my side there's nothing I can't accomplish.

There is one thing that's new though. There's this guy. His name is Aiden. He's really attractive. He's got this caramel brown hair that is longer on the top and short on the sides, kind of like a Justin Beiber look, but way hotter. His eyes are crystal blue like the ocean surrounding a tropical island. He's new here. He plays on the basketball team, which means he's tall, at least 6'2".

He's in my anatomy class. He just transferred here so mid way through the class he got seated next to me. We have been lab partners a few times. He's really sweet. This one time we were dissecting a cat and the whole idea of it made me queasy. From the start I told him I wasn't going to be of much help. He laughed and I'm sure he thought I was joking, until I sat back three feet from the lab bench and watched from there.

He had gotten the cat open and was trying to figure out which was the heart and which were the kidneys. They all kind of blended in, but we were given a paper that had a map of the organs on it.

I hopped off my stool and took a step closer to look at the map. They were just outlines, but I could still feel my stomach turning as the smell wafted through my nostrils.

"Oh, I think it's this one," Aiden said as he pointed the tweezers at a slimy gray blob.

I leaned closer. "I don't think the heart would be gray, or the kidney." As I was leaning back, Aiden pulled the tweezers away from the mystery organ and a glop of the mucky fluid flew up at my face, landing on my cheeks and the bridge of my nose.

I screamed and dropped the paper from my hands. Aiden's eyes went wide as he took the safety goggles from my face. I was horrified but I could tell he was trying to hold in a laugh. He directed me to the sink and turned on the water.

"Hang on," he said moving my hands from my face. He grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser next us and ran it under the water.

He folded the damp brown paper into a neat square and gently pressed it to my cheek. I moved back, startled by the coolness of the water. He smiled and placed his free hand behind my neck to hold me still.

He wiped away the muck from my face slowly and gently all while staring into my eyes. You could say it was a bit dramatic, but it felt nice.

Maybe it's selfish. I liked having someone pay complete attention to me. It was just nice while it lasted.

Once I was all cleaned up we came back to reality and the whole class was staring at our scene drawn straight from The Notebook, if it had taken place in high school years.

Once I told Spencer and Isabella the story they gushed at how "cute of a couple" we would be. They invited him to get coffee with us a few days later.

We sat at the coffee shop down the street from the school and the four of us just talked for hours. Aiden is such a good guy and it definitely surprised me when he became friends with us. I would have expected him to be friends with the jocks and the popular kids, but I guess I shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

Isabella thinks I should go out with him. He always compliments me and asks to help me. He offers me rides to school a lot. Seth likes him too. He is pretty great, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for something like that just yet. There's still a part of me that wants you to come back and tell me you want me. I know it's wishful thinking but I can't help it. I should probably get rid of that dream.  I should probably move on. You probably have a new girlfriend already. She's probably beautiful and smart and kind.

I know I'm not fully ready to move on yet, but maybe I should. It's just a thought.

I still love you,

Felicia