Wherever You Are

Chapter 13: Jonah's Unsent Letter

December 29, 2015

Dear Felicia,

Carl is pretty cool. At first I was really hesitant. I didn't think I was ever going to be okay with him being with my mom. After everything she had been through. I didn't want her to get hurt by another man. I didn't want to trust anyone with her. But I ended up trusting him.

He showed me early on that he cared for her. He didn't want to hurt her. I also saw that he respected her. He comes over every Sunday and they see each other during the week too. He doesn't spend the night and she never spends the night at his house. She has been to his house before, but she hasn't stayed past eight o'clock.

They get coffee together most mornings. They sit at the cafe in town and talk a lot. They go on walks and trips sometimes. Not long trips, just day trips. He's a very outdoorsy man. He likes to go hiking and fishing and hunting.

One day he asked me and Andrew to go hunting with him. I thought it was weird. I didn't really want to go at first. It was going to be awkward. He was a man that was seeing my mother. It was just something I had never encountered before. But Andrew and I both went because Mom wanted us to.

Carl had a had a set of guns that he packed into the back of his truck and came to pick Andrew and me up. The hunting spot nearby was about a half hour drive. This was a woodsy town, but a lot of the woods were protected and we couldn't hunt there. The car ride started off kind of awkward. We were quiet for about half the ride, then Carl broke the silence.

"I know that this may seem a bit weird, but I want to get to know you boys better. I don't know much about either of you. With you being at school," he said looking at me in the rearview mirror, "and you being at work most of the time," he said to Andrew sitting beside him in the passenger seat, "I barely see either of you."

He had a point. He spent the days with my mom and the nights she was back home with us. "Well, what do you want to know about us?" Andrew asked.

"What do you both like to do?" We were quiet. "Obviously you aren't big fans of hunting," he said with a bit of an uncomfortable chuckle at the end.

"I like baseball," I said. Andrew nodded in agreement. Before my dad got really bad, he would play baseball with me and Andrew in the yard. It was when we were much younger though. Too long ago for either of us to really remember it.

"You don't say," he said. "I used to play baseball growing up. I was the pitcher for my school team. Not that it's saying much. We weren't very good." I laughed lightly. "Did either of you play?"

Andrew looked at me in the side mirror. "A little," I said. "Mostly just stuff when I was younger. Nothing serious. I like watching games on TV though."

The conversations continued like this for the rest of the ride. We talked about our likes and dislikes. We talked about school and work and politics, although that is really when I zoned out.

When we got to the hunting grounds, we parked the car on an off-road and hopped out. I put my coat on, which was insulated with a fur lining. I walked to the back of the truck, where Carl stood holding two rifles in his hands. He handed one to Andrew and the other to me. "Ready?" he asked taking the last out and shutting the bed.

"Let's go," Andrew said enthusiastically. I followed the two of them as they continued their conversation about Carl's job. He is a civil engineer for a company just outside of town. He was telling us that he mostly works on bridges and their construction. He said he, along with a few men from his team, designed the bridge we crossed on our way out here and that they lead the whole construction process as well. You can tell that he's really passionate about his work. He has a lot of free time, and since they just got done with that bridge a few months ago, he has had a lot of time to spend in town and at home.

We sat ducked behind a large bush deep inside the hunting area. I had never been hunting. This was my first time, and besides the extensive waiting in the cold snow, it wasn't that bad. We talked quietly while we kept our eyes peeled.

"Sorry boys," Carl said quietly. "There's not a lot of action today." The only thing we had seen all morning was a squirrel scavenging for nuts. Andrew and I both shot at it, but with our lack of experience, neither of us hit it and it ran off with a mouthful of acorns. 

"Well, this trip won't be 100% useless," he said, setting his gun down. He turned to the two of us. Andrew and I exchanged looks and then turned back to Carl.

"Uh," Andrew said shuffling back a step.

Carl looked worried. "No, no, it's nothing to be worried about. This wasn't the sole purpose of this trip. I mean, don't get me wrong, I wanted to know about you boys and what you like to do. I really did want to get to know you both and I'm glad I did."

"But," I said. I couldn't even bring myself to imagine what he was about to say. I had no idea.

"But, I wanted to ask you boys something. It's about your me and your mother." My eyes got wide and my heart rate picked up. If he hurt her.

He looked down at the ground and smiled shyly. "I love her. I really do. I know I haven't known her for very long, but I really do love her and she knows that. I have told her and I have made it clear. She and I haven't even spent a night together, but I am so sure about this."

I looked at Andrew and he looked at me happily. I didn't have a smile on my face though.

Carl looked up at both of us. "Andrew, Jonah, with your permission, I would like to ask your mother to marry me."

Andrew stood up and Carl followed. He stepped toward him and shook his hand then pulled him into a hug. "Permission granted."

"Wait," I said. It came out louder than I thought. A few birds resting in trees above us took flight. "I haven't given you permission yet." I stood up and took a step toward Carl. "You can't hurt my mom," I said sternly.

"I would never," he said. 

I stared into his eyes. "She doesn't deserve to be hurt. Ever. Don't you ever hurt her," I said sticking my finger out toward his chest. He nodded and I stepped back. I held my head up and stuck out my hand. "You have my permission."

A smile came to his face and we packed everything up and went back to the truck. The car ride home was a very light hearted. There were jokes exchanged and he even told us his plan to ask her. He was a good guy and I kind of felt bad for seeming so angry and being so hard on him. But he had to understand that my mom was the sweetest person I have come know and she means the world to me. I won't let any other man hurt her the way my father did.

I still love you,

Jonah