Wherever You Are

Chapter 7: Jonah's Unsent Letter

February 22, 2015

Dear Felicia,

My mom was supposed to have her baby today. She spent the day walking around town. I was glad she didn't want to stay cooped up in the house again. She told Carl she wanted to walk alone today. I don't think she had told him about everything that had happened before we moved here. I didn't blame her. If she wasn't ready for that, then it was okay.

Even though she had told us that she wanted to walk alone, Andrew and I told her we were going with her. We didn't want her to be alone on this day.

She did well in the morning. We walked around and talked. We went to the park and we watched the people walking their dogs. Andrew got us coffee. I sat with my mom while we waited. She told me how much happier she was here.

She said, "Jonah, I'm really happy. I know it may not seem like it yet, but I really am."

I smiled at her. It felt so good to know that she was feeling better here. "It's good to hear that Mom." I gave her a hug.

"And thank you for getting us out of there. If it weren't for you, we would still be with that horrible man. That's something that I would never wish upon anyone." She almost started to cry, speaking about him. She was strong though. She choked it down and continued through her thoughts. "I'm sorry I never took you away from him. I should have a long time ago."

I shook my head and held her hands in mine. "Mom, you have been the perfect mother to me and I know you couldn't." She nodded but I knew she still felt the blame. "We are safe, Mom. Leave him behind. He's out of our lives."

That was the first time I had said it out loud. I felt relieved. He was gone. We were safe. We were free.

After Andrew came back with our drinks, we sat for a few more minutes and watched the clouds float across the sky. My mom always loved watching the clouds. It was something we used to do as a family when things were good. Even my father did it too. We would all go out to the park, lay in the grass on a blanket, and look up at the sky. Things weren't always bad with him.

When we got home she went straight to her room. She just needed some time alone. I understood it. She came back downstairs for dinner, but right after went back to her room.

In the middle of the night I had gotten up to use the bathroom. As I reached for the door I heard sobbing. I spun around around and looked through the crack between the door and the wall of my mom's room. It was her.

I slipped in her room and without saying anything I climbed in bed next to her and spent the rest of the night with her. I knew that words wouldn't help. She was just hurting. I didn't want her to be alone though.

I still love you,

Jonah