Memories

10

You would be coming again
It won't be long before you walk through those for the second time
It is just exactly 12hours left and you would come

I'm a brave and confident person
I'm always opened with you
Meeting you alone
As just being together
Just hearing your voice
Just having your body touching my body
It all brings my guard down
I begin to feel tensed and shy
I feel easily controlled just by your words
Your commands you make is what I follow
I try to let myself fights against it for it stop

I'm enjoying the moment
I don't want it to get ruined
I know what I'm doing isn't right
But with you everything is right
I want this attraction
This connection
This.....whatever it is
It needs to be broken
It needs to be torn apart
It needs to be drifted away

No matter how much I try
How much research I do
How many times I talk
The subject
The topic
Everything always leads up to you
Everything your name is there
How can I face people knowing the things I've done behind covers
Knowing that if they find out they would look at me differently

It's getting closer for you to come
I keep twisting and turning
I keep dancing and listening
I keep sleeping and dreaming
Dreaming of how it would be
I can never forget
I would never forget the memories we shared

Everything  I do
Every pic I take
Every dress/cloth I put on
Every move I take
Ever text I send
Every word I type
Every word I say
Every word I hear
It all has an important memory

A memory of you
A memory we share
A memory I wish it could playing
I wish we could turn back time
If we could turn back time
I would love to re-live the moments we had together
I would like to make every second
Every minute and
Every hour count
So I can always remember

---------------

It is today
The time given was 12pm
I waited
I called
I sent messages
I thought
I slept
I wondered to myself

Is it that destiny isn't allowing has to be together
Or it is destiny Gavin me another chance to do the right thing
If you knew you wouldn't come
At least a call would do
You kept me waiting
Cause of that I couldn't eat
I had an empty stomach
Now everything I try to swallow is like torture
I just like the way you are
But you are bad for me
Every memory of you torments me everyday
I want to forget all and start all over
And somehow I want to remember it all

A week ago...................

I thought you blocked me
I thought you didn't want to talk to me
I thought you wanted to ignore me
I thought you didn't like me anymore
I thought you disliked my company
I thought you got bored of me
I thought you began hating me
I thought
I thought
I thought
I still kept thinking

Then out of no where
You just text me and your like hi
Just hi
As if everything was fine between us
Then you go forward to give me this excuse saying that your little brother blocked almost all your contacts
Wow!! What a lie
Who would every believe
Well I decided to ignore it
And see what you wanted or had to say

.....................

Sorry readers
I can't continue this
But I write a another
Now pls keep reading👇👇

It all began
It began 9 months ago
We had never met each other before
We always made plans to meet up
But I always ignored it
I really wanted to see you
But many questions ran through my mind

What if you were different from what I had in mind
What if I didn't like your appearance
What if I didn't like your attitude in person
What if!was the question in my mind
Finally we met
So far we have only met like
6 times in this past months
Anytime I'm with you
I seem different
My attitude
My language
My reaction
My heartbeat
Everything just changes at once
Everything comes diffferent

People say such bad things about you
The same people who say that
Once seeing you they change and act like they never said a thing
It doesn't matter anyways
Whatever they say about you I don't care
You just being the way you are is how I like you
I understand you

You just want to live life and enjoy
It's  not as if you force people on you
It's not as if you force people to come to you
They come to you
And you just allow it
So if anything happens
I don't get why they blame you
You never asked them to do anything forcefully
It's their own fault so they should solve their issues
And stop blaming and trying to harm you

I wish you the best in your career
Enjoy you life
And change to become better

Xoxoxo❤️💋❤️

-----------------

It's tomorrow
Tomorrow when u face the truth
Tomorrow when I face reality
Tomorrow when I see people's reactions

I'm i ready
I'm i prepared enough
What I'm I going to do
I wish I could create more time
The truth is finally going to be revealed
Everything lie is coming to an end
People would see the me behind those shadows

This is my greatest fear
I wish I never did anything
Now the truth will harm me
It would be like torture
It would be tormenting
It would be horrible
It would be terrifying
It would just be too much

Seeing people's  reactions
Seeing people's feelings and emotions change
Would I be to bare this
Would I be able to face this
Can I take it all in at once
It's going to be a big blow

I'll just have to accept the fact and face reality
I would have to be punished and know what I did was wrong

As they say every wrong doing has a price you pay
Well we would just have to wait and see how tomorrow will be like

Maybe destiny won't make this happen
Maybe destiny would save me
Maybe destiny would make me do the right thing
Maybe destiny would make me confess the truth later
Maybe destiny would change my destiny for me
I'll just have to wait and see