Chapter 1: My mind

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When you look in a mirror, you’re meant to see yourself. No matter how pretty, ugly, young or old you are, and everyone can, except me. I can’t and never have been able to, at least as far as I’m aware. But why?

Instead, there’s something else. Not just in one mirror, but in every mirror I have ever looked in. Inside there’s a person, a small little girl, staring through the glass. At first I thought she was just a reflection. But when she was in every mirror I looked in, and there was nobody behind me, I realized. It wasn’t a reflection, it never has been. It’s a girl. But she’s not like a picture that’s in my place; she’s a living, breathing person. Trapped inside a mirror.

Every time I see her, thousands of questions pour through my mind. Who is she? How is she inside the mirror? Why can’t she get out? But most importantly, why am I the only one that can see her? And today was no different, I stared in the mirror and she was there. Sometimes I could be staring at her with great curiosity for hours not knowing it. But somehow every time I do, it becomes a lot harder to come back to reality. But wait, she looks different today. Something’s changed. I peered closely at her, amazed but at the same time curious, about what has changed. What’s different?

I scanned her from head to toe, looking closely at every detail. Wait, that’s it! Her eyes! They have always been a dark shade of green, sometimes a lighter shade in bright light. But somehow today, they were a pale shade of blue. Her eyes also seemed very watery, almost as if she’d been crying. For a moment I’m mesmerized. Questions continually going through my mind. Starring into her, newly shaded pale blue eyes, is almost as if I’m looking for an answer that’s covered by mist. It’s there, but I just can’t see it. Suddenly the door of my bedroom flew open breaking the spell. Mum.

“Corelina, Corelina!” She said, her voice slowly rising as I don’t answer.

“Huh? Err, yes mum?” I replied, suddenly aware of what’s going on.

“Are you ok? You seem a little pale.” She held her hand to my head, looking suddenly worried, yet calm. I shook it off in frustration.

“Mum! I’m fine!” I argue, even though I suddenly feel a little faint.

“Good.” She continues, looking relived.

“Here.” She put a small square box in front of me. It was all brightly coloured and beautifully patterned. Somehow it reminded me of the countryside, for some weird reason. “It’s just a little something for that test that you did so well in. Do you remember, last week?”

“Yes! Of course! It was a history quiz about the Victorians.” I shouted, suddenly losing my temper.

“Ok, ok. Well here it is!” I slowly opened the box.

“Like it! It’s an old book of Victorian stories. And I thought it’s perfect for you since your covering the Victorians at school. So, do you like it? She stared hopefully at me.

“Its great mum thanks!” I said, trying to sound enthusiastic. I’ve always loved reading books but, we had just finished studying about the Victorians and most the history books we either worked from or looked in were so boring; they nearly sent me to sleep! But I tried to keep that look of disappointment to myself; I don’t want her to feel bad.

I can still perfectly picture the sad expression on her face from my 10th birthday. She bought me a new frilly pink top that was two sizes small. And I didn’t even like pink, or frills! I wanted roller skates instead. I’ve never been much of a girly girl, not really. No matter what she wants me to be. She saw I didn’t like it and was really upset at me for weeks! So I defiantly didn’t want a repeat of that! Instead, I decided to try out some of my new acting skills that we had learnt recently in drama.

“Thanks!” I replied again, trying to force a smile across my face. Thankfully she couldn’t see the difference; she’s never been a very observant person.

“Ok then, good. I’m so glad you like it!” And with that she disappeared out of my room and down the stairs. I waited until the sound of the radio sounded nosily from the kitchen to hide the book under my bed. She loves her music. I was going to throw it across the room in frustration, but I know she might hear me and I don’t want to risk it.

Then I quickly shoved the book under my bed, and sighed in relief that it was gone. “That’s that taken care of!” I whispered to myself, not wanting mum to hear. But then as I slowly climbed off my bed, I trod on the corner of it. Confused for a minute, I gazed down at what I had just trodden on. Yes, it was the book, but how can that be? I carefully pushed it under by bed a few seconds ago.

“Very weird!” I whispered. I then tried again and again, but it still wouldn’t move. Then I tried a third time and hit something hard. I pocked my head under my bed to see what it was. It was an old heavy box. I tried to move it, but it wouldn’t budge. I tried again, no luck. As my temper slowly started to rise, I gave up and hurled the book across my floor, leaving it upside down on a creased page.

Lying down on the floor, I sighed fed up of my own existence. For some reason everything has been going wrong for me lately. I kept waking up late so I keep missing the bus, doing really badly in my school tests, but worst of all, my best friend Sammie won’t talk to me. And I don’t even know why. But I think it could be when I sort of laughed a little bit at her new top that she got for her birthday a few weeks ago. But in my defence, it looked really awful on her, although now, I can see kind of see why she’s not talking to me. I’ve been really messed up these few weeks, right now I even hate myself. After ten minutes, I had cleared my head and knew what I had to do.

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