K2 was sitting in her parents car listening to "Glamazon" by RuPaul when the line "She's so bloody tall" made her come to the realization that our protagonists had made one minuscule mistake when leaving the island.
"FUCK ME UP WE FORGOT JAKE!"
"WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE" yelled her mom.
"Try me bitch" replied K2
"What kind of Home Alone ass shit is this?" Pondered the shortest and least memorable member of the clan.
"Did these dumb skanks actually forget me."
Jake decided to wander the island looking for his "friends" for as long as his tiny legs could take him. Suddenly he heard the sand moving behind him and decided to move his little feet just a tad faster. This was a surprisingly smart move for someone who literally has like a 1.5 grade point average.
Back in Trump's America K2 was planning a meeting to discuss just what the fuck they were going to do about their forgotten comrade. Now since the group is shit at making plans it took them a good month to set up a conference to discuss how to help Jake.
"Now how in the hell did you morons forget Jake?" Questioned Ty.
"I don't know what happened I thought he was with you guys when I became a hero and killed Hitler." K2 replied with a hint of false heroism.
"How the hell do you not know what happened you're the one who got us into this mess!" Argued Austin.
"Hey shut up if it wasn't for K2 and I you would all be dead on that island right now!" Fought back Tommy.
"Mostly me." K2 added.
"Why can't we all just get along and stop being so hostile?!?" Whined Megan (as usual).
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Yelled everyone in response to Megan's incessant whining.
"Okay lets all calm down arguing will do nothing but cause more problems" said Austin,
"but this was totally K2 and Tommy's fault."
"So what are we actually going to do?" Said Fatih with a hint of regret for trying to help the one person she hated the most.
"I don't know why we have to bring him back I mean he's kind of an asshole and he contributed nothing to our friend group; I mean half of us hated him and the other half was indifferent to him anyway" said Megan.
And with that, our shitty heroes decided that it was best to leave their least favorite dwarf on the island. Except K2 had an uneasy feeling in her stomach that she should do something to help her once good friend.
"Day 305, I have been on this island for idk how long but it is certainly not lit fam 😫😭" ( I have no idea how he wrote emojis in journal) Wrote Jake in his makeshift journal. "None of my friends have come for me as far as I can tell and I keep hearing some really strange shit that I can't understand." After he closed his diary and put it away he heard an unexplained sound once again, and this time he decided not to be a little bitch and investigated it.
Jake followed the strange grumblings that sounded awfully German to the beach where he saw the sand being turned up and he saw a hand come up out of no where.
"Diese Hündin, die wie ein alter Mann aussieht, wird bezahlen!" Said the stranger in the ground.
"Wait it's German and the hand looks like it's connected to a suit that can only mean one thing IT'S HITLER!" Screamed jake as he scuffled away in fear. As jake sprinted away he came across the crashed plane and decided that was the best hiding place for the time being. He slammed the plane door and hid in the cockpit and took a nap in the pilots seat.
