Angel

Prologue

"She was my serendipity, forever to be cherished only in memories."

Some say you only meet your twin flame once.  The moment they would be in your life, viola-somehow you're a changed man for good. And the worse thing? I've had that, the whole love, marriage, and picket-fence life.

But she wasn't just my forever, only my serendipity. 

"Knew I would find you here." 

Turning around, I'm not surprised to find Nathan. Fucking bastard. No matter how many times I've told him not to follow me, every year without any question, I'd find him here.

"You didn't have to come." I retort, finally getting the courage to crouch down to her level. How could she live without me so easily? Just as I close my eyes to picture her, the flowers in my hands almost gets crushed hearing him near me.

"I didn't come for you, asshole. I came for Angel."

Wouldn't I fucking know?

Before I can answer him though, he's already starting to arrange his own set of flowers.  Lavenders, the same kind that's on my hand. "How's Angel doing?"

"She's asking about her mother. She thinks mama's waiting for her somewhere. She even wrote a card for her." I chuckle, remembering my daughter's exact words. The more years passed, the more it's becoming harder to keep her in the dark. But if it keeps her away from the actual truth...

After staring at the ground in heavy silence, he sighs. "She's getting older, Keith. You should have told her when she first started asking about her."

"What the hell am I going to tell her, Nathan?" I look away, unable to bear his scrutiny-filled gaze any longer. "I wanted a child. No matter what the risk-I did this."

"You did nothing! She wanted this too, more than anything in the world." He pauses, snatching the card from my hands with a laugh. "See? She misses her just as you do. By not telling her, the only thing you're doing is building Angel's life around a lie. She would have wanted her daughter to know everything about her. Not hiding her like some dirty little secret."

"Nathan!" 

My fists clench together to pummel him to the ground but I don't know why I stop myself. For my respect of the dead? Or because deep down I knew he was right all along? "You know I can't-"

"No, you listen to me." He has never looked at me like this. So serious and vulnerable at the same time. "The next time we meet here, I better see Angel with you, Keith, or our friendship is over."

I wanted to argue, hell, he was wrong on so many levels. Angel needed her mother more than she needed me. But as always, with a pat on the shoulder, Nathan is gone before I can prove my point. And, when I look down to seek answers, all I get is-

The fucking silence.

***

On any day, hearing Angel's hearty laughter from her room is a blessing. It's a reminder that I still have something to live for. But today, I can't ignore that even being around her is going to suffocate me. Fuck, I shouldn't have paid attention to Nathan's words. The guy has the ability to get inside my head for the stupidest reasons. 

"Papa!" Like clockwork, no sooner I cross the hall, I see her small feet running toward me. Her adorable smile almost makes me grin, even for today. It's like fate wanted to punish me whenever I saw her. Angel had most of her mother's features, down to her smile. The only thing that we had in common was my blond hair. 

"You're back!" 

Her giggle makes my smile widen. Hugging her tightly, I can't help but smooth down her curls. "You didn't disturb Pops too much, did you?'' 

"No! Pops even let me eat ice-cream. See?" Her front tooth is missing but even I can see the mess she has made. 

Goddammit.

"And, I take that even Pops took some for himself?"

"Mmm." As soon as she reveals that, her eyes widen and she closes her mouth with a gasp. "No! I was supposed to keep it a secret."

Shit, now she's going to cry.

"Oh, baby. Come here." 

"You're not going to scold him, are you?" Her breath hitches and she hiccups, tears running down her chin at the thought. "Just like mama did?"

What?

My brow furrows at the sudden notion. "What are you talking about?"

"Pops said Mama was angry with you, that's why she doesn't come home anymore. If I say sorry to her, she'll surely come home. That's why I sent the card! Did you give it to her?"

Double shit. What on earth Dad was thinking? 

"Papa?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, of course, I did." Her face lightens up and I don't know how to lie to her face when she lets out a happy squeal. 

"So, she's coming back for us? Yes, yes, I knew it!''

Gulping, I look away. Maybe Nathan was right, maybe I was only delaying the inevitable. "Baby, I think it's time you know something. Your Mama-you need to know the truth about your Mama." 

I pause, taking a deep breath so I don't end up choking. It was easy to show my frustration the first few months, to scream it all out but now? Now all I wanted was to keep the pain locked inside. But Angel deserves to know the truth. 

I deserve to be free of this pain.

"Papa..." Her lips start trembling suddenly. "Did you forget about her?'' 

"No baby, never! I'll tell you, I'll tell you everything. Do you see yourself? Everyone has an angel like you in their life. Some come when you need them the most, some come when you expect them the least. Your Mama-I never expected her to come into my life, just like when she finally left me, I didn't expect to live either. Not until you."

*******

It's an open ending story so this is different than the usual I write. Tell me how it is and enjoy! (Silent readers, I'm keeping my eyes on u)