Should I? [S4S Short Story]

20

Should I
Part two Finale

Samirah was shocked at what she was hearing. Chris was in love with her and she had no idea. Yea she had feelings for Chris, but she would've never thought Chris felt the same but deeper. She had a big crush on Chris and she wanted to be with her. Maybe if she was with Chris life would be a little better. She would feel loved by someone else and now she is, but what did she mean by she's sorry it had to end this way.

"W-What do you mean?" Samirah asked.

Chris stood up amd walked ovr to the ledge of the building. She looked over the building and seen the city along with her downstairs neighbors.

She admired the scenery around her. She smiled reminiscencing how she would take Marlee all over the city to look at the big buildings and fun places along with good restaurants.

Samirah got up and followed her. She watched Chris jump onto the ledge instantly making her nerves jump as she thought she was jumping.

"Chris get down! The fuck are you doing?" Samirah yelled pulling at Chris's arm. Chris jerked it away from and stood up as tall as she could and turned to look back at Samirah who looked fearful and worried as hell.

"I'm going to jump of-"

"Chris N-"

"I am going...-" She cut Samirah off, "-to jump off of this damn roof." She said with no emotion.

"Chris..." Samirah baffeled. "B-But why?"

Chris turned around, "I literally have nothing to live for. My babygirl is gone. I don't give a damn about shit anymore but you and my daughter but she's gone Sammy. I don't have her, so I don't have anyone." Chris said.

"Chris please there's another way, I understand how you feel-"

"So jump with me,"

Samirah looked at Chris like she was crazy, but then she took it into consideration.

If she killed, herself she can hold her baby girl and be with her just like Chris can be with Marlee.

If she ended it all, she wouldn't have to worry about Terrance coming to find her and hurting her again.

She still had pent up anger and pain towards life and she already had 3 suicide attempts. What's one more to really do it?

She'll be gone and no one will miss her like she remembers. She still feels like that scared 17 year old that no one gave a shit about.

Why is she still feeling this way? She's never told anyone but she was being bullied at school. Girls would tormemt her for being pregnant, let alone a "knocked up dyke." Guys would call her a syke-a-dyke. Hell one time she was almost gang raped.

She never told anyone this but if she walked out of this situation then she's putting herself right back into shit.

"Samirah I love you. We can be a family in heaven. We'll be better up here than down here I promise. This," She said gesturing to the ground. "-is a quick death. You won't feel anything." She persuaded.

Samirah walked over and looked over the roof nervously. It was a high fall, as she said earlier,  but she agrees with Chris that it's a quick death. She also seen some people starting to form around.  We even seen the city police down the highway.

"If you love me and you want a better life, you'll do it with me..." Chris said holding out her hand.

Samirah looked at Chris's hand and her life flashed before her.

"Should I?" Samirah thought.

Maybe this is the best...

She hesitantly grabbed onto Chris's hand and Chris quickly but carefully pulled her up. There she stood over the city and the people down below. A tear escaped her eye and Chris wiped it smiling at her.

Chris laid her hand on Samirah's cheek and caressed it with her thumb. She leaned in and her lips crashed onto Samirah's.

They shared a slow and sensual kiss that made Samirah feel ok. It made her understand that Her and Chris would be together with their babies if she ended it like this. She's been trying to do it and everytime she failed.

This was her last breath,

Her last goodbye,

Her last day on Earth.

And she was leaving out with whom she wanted to walk in with. She realized that She loves Chris.

"I love you Christina," Samirah smiled catching Chris off gaurd. Chris responded by kissing the back off Samirah's hand that was intertwined with hers.

"I'll see you in Heaven my Love. They're waiting on us." Chris looked up and kissed the sky with her words.

"On 3 baby," Chris said.

Samirah shook her head and thought of her whole life. She then realized her mother was waiting on her too. She can finally see her beautiful mother and they could all be a really big happy family.

No more tears

"1..."

No more suffering

"2..."

    No more fear

"3..."

Gasp were heard from the crowd formed below. The police scrambling to clear the scene, yelling to stay back.

They jumped.

Within a few seconds they hit solid concrete. The horrific sounds that everyone heard. Some people became traumatized that day forward. Call them selfish, but they felt as if life was longer needed to be lived. They wanted to see better, feel better, and be better people. They knew one way out of this never ending nightmare and that ended by jumping off the roof. They're all finally together. Mommy and Marlee, Samirah and Paris and Samirah's mother. All so beautiful, yet all so sad. They're happy at last. The question that determined it all...

Should I?...It's no longer a question.
____________________________________
😥Goodbye and rest well.

I hate to end the book like this but I wanted to bring awareness to suicide.

Just Saturday I attended the funeral of a 19 year old girl I knew. She had hung herself and it was such a sad situation.  Seeing her and knowing she wasn't coming back and the effect it had on her family especially her mother. I know that I can't put my family through that and you shouldn't either. 

If you or anyone you know is dealing with something, help them or talk to someone. Hit me up and we can talk.

If you or anyone you know that's thinking or attempting suicide, please call the Suicie prevention Lifeline  at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

I love you guys and I'm always open to talk. My confession, I was once in your position with suicidal thoughts and even attempting to do it. I promise you are not alone.

I love you guys so much❤